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Selected
Correspondence Peter
Reality

Being ‘normal’ was never ever satisfactory,
particularly as the pursuit of material wealth and financial power never appealed to me – I
somehow knew that ‘something’ was missing but I didn’t know of any alternative.
Same here. To cut a long
story short, as a teenager I didn’t know what I wanted but I knew what I didn’t want.
Actually, for me it wasn’t just a case of not wanting it, or feeling something was missing. I
hated ‘the system’ (but not individuals) with a passionate intensity. Toward my late teens,
I saw people’s modes of existence in one of three ways: they were servicing the
‘machine’[*]; they were blithely unaware of the existence of the ‘machine’; or they were
working in whatever way they could to subvert the ‘machine’. In the mid-eighties when I left
school, everyone was ‘servicing the machine’. They were rebelling against parental control,
but not rebelling against the values and goals that underpin it. My beef with civilisation ran a
lot deeper than parental control, so I fancied myself as a radical of sorts. My ‘allies’
were political dissidents, artists, madmen, saboteurs, mystics, spiritualists, subversives of
any kind who refused to play the games that keep the wheels of the machine turning smoothly.
[*] The ‘machine’ was an amalgamation of
industrialisation, capitalism, communism, bourgeois values, mindless consumerism, anything that
led to war, environmental devastation, repression and destruction of the human spirit. (‘The
Combine’, as Ken Kesey described it in ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’, was pretty
close to my vision of it).
I wasn’t outwardly radical in any obvious way. I
didn’t belong to any organisations (because although plenty of people were looking for the
answer, they didn’t have the right answer). And on the outside I was a fairly casual,
caring, easy-going person. But inwardly I burned.
It took me a long time to recognize that my riling
against ‘the establishment’ was simply a convenient outlet for my own resentment and anger.
It’s not necessarily socially-acceptable to take out one’s anger on individuals but taking
it out on an amorphus concept such as ‘the machine’, ‘the system’, the government’ or
‘the establishment’ is very socially-accepted within the multitude of competing and waring
groups, be they racial, ethnic, tribal, political, social, economic or ideological. And there
are none who feel more aggrieved than the self-righteous who hold to spiritual morals or
humanitarian ethics.
A bit later on, I realised
that these political and economic systems don’t just descend on us out of the blue. They’re
the products of a million compromises. They’re all attempts by our predecessors to balance
material, social and spiritual needs while preserving enough social stability to keep the
species surviving.
Now that I have finally stopped my mindless riling
against these systems, I have come to see how successful democracy and capitalism – when
combined with effective public welfare and health systems – have been in providing an
ever-increasing proportion of the growing but stabilizing human population on the planet with
ever-increasing wealth, health, lifespan, clean air, pure water, nourishing food, leisure,
pleasure, safety and comfort.
To use one of Richard’s metaphors that has stuck in
my mind, I found that I needed to do a good deal of work before I could take off both my grey
coloured glasses and my rose coloured glasses in order that I could begin to get a
glimpse of the fact that grim reality is an illusion which is created by ‘me’.
So then I turned inwards and
tried to have a good look at the heart and mind that lies right at the centre of everything I
experience. At that time I wasn’t too far away from Richard’s starting point.
I knew that wherever I went, whatever I did, I would
be there looking over my shoulder, and although I didn’t have any conscious recollection of an
I-less state at that time, I still knew that ‘I’ was gonna be a terrible burden to lug
around for the rest of my life. But, unlike Richard, I accepted that ‘I’ was inescapable –
and, as it turned out, I spent the next 20 years trying out various alternative forms of
‘me’. None were satisfactory.
Yes. And it wasn’t as though I was doing anything
‘wrong’ in my search for freedom – it was just that ‘I’ along with everyone else on
the planet, and everyone else who has ever been on the planet, have got it 180 degrees wrong.
What Richard’s discovery reveals is that there is no freedom to be had within the human
condition – the answer lays in becoming free from the human condition in toto.

Underlying this social/historic programming are the
instinctual survival passions – passions, which are non-existent in a PCE but are given full
reign in any altered state of consciousness experience. This means there is a powerful
instinctive lure to claim any and all experience as ‘mine’.
The reason I point this out is that not only has an
actualist to be wary of the spiritual programming that actively encourages the pursuit of
altered states of consciousness, but also of the crude instinctive narcissistic drive that has
thus far always corrupted the human search for freedom, peace and happiness.
And I would hasten to add
that the ‘pursuit of altered states of consciousness’ does not necessarily always mean the
hankering after religious experiences. The use of mood-altering drugs is often a case in point.
It could be a simple everyday thing like stopping off in the tavern for a few drinks or smoking
a few joints after work. What makes it the craving for an altered state of consciousness is that
it is ‘me’ looking for an escape from normal, everyday ‘reality’.
Also, there may be the desire for other ‘out of
body’ experiences, as through meditative practices and such. The pursuit of altered states of
consciousness is impelled by the same instinctual survival passions that make life on this
verdant planet boring and lacklustre for so many people.
Yeah, ‘me’ looking for an escape from normal,
everyday ‘reality’ is an understandable passion, given that normal everyday reality
sucks. By the time I was 33 years old, I was well and truly ready to escape grim reality and I
took the only road then possible – the Eastern spiritual path. 17 years on, whilst I had seen
the failures and hypocrisies of the spiritual-world Greater Reality from the inside, the desire
to escape grim reality had been neither quenched, nor satisfied. This experience was why I could
ditch the spiritual path and try something new – the desire to be free was still burning
strongly.
Unless people are genuinely seeking an escape from
normal everyday reality, and are suss of the hierocracies and hypocrisies of the spiritual path,
actualism will have no appeal.
*
And just a note on fairness. It may not seem fair
that each and every human being born is pre-programmed with an inevitably-emergent set of
instinctual passions – that each and every child is born programmed to be malicious and
sorrowful and that this instinctive program is then calcified by the social inculcation of one’s
parents and peers.
To regard this as unfair is but to rile against the
processes of life itself – the very processes that produces human flesh and blood bodies in
the first place and continues to sustain them whilst they are alive.
I scanned my original e-mail
to see if a notion of ‘fairness’ had crept into it, but I could not locate any such
reference. I have never thought of it as ‘unfair’ that human beings are pre-programmed with
a rough-and-ready survival system. I can easily recall in earlier years, however, feeling that
life was essentially cruel and unfair. I find now that whenever the thought of something either
being ‘fair’ or ‘unfair’ creeps into my psyche, I immediately catch myself and look at
it. Usually, it is associated with some underlying feeling of resentment. It is also associated
with what I consider to be my ‘rights’, whether territorial, personal, or political. Notions
of fairness are, I think, ultimately ethical and moral standards and as such reveal the socially
inculcated values of the social identity overlying the primitive instinctual ‘self’. There
can be no applying of these values to the processes of life. Such would not be scientific
thinking. It would be akin to the anthropomorphic view that says it is not ‘fair’ that the
lion attacks the gazelle, or that the gnat only lives for a day, or the human being on average
88.5 years or what-have-you.
In introducing the subject of fairness I wasn’t
particularly referring to anything you said, but rather making a comment that I thought was
relevant to the topic of children.
As you know, the beliefs and passions that form the
human condition are so intermeshed and overlapped that they form a reality that is so utterly
convincing that it is held to be real. Rather than dismiss this reality as illusionary and set
off in pursuit of a Greater Reality based on a new set of beliefs and passions, the business of
an actualist is to firstly become aware of, and then experientially investigate the veracity of
all beliefs and the nature of all passions that give substance to both the real-world and
spiritual world realities.
In a PCE, both these realities – both grim reality
and its panacean Greater Reality – temporarily disappear, as do ‘me’ and ‘my’ worries,
beliefs and passions. When the PCE fades and ‘I’ resume centre stage as it were, ‘I’
then have something to do – resume the business of becoming aware of, and then experientially
investigating the veracity of all the beliefs and the nature of all the passions that give
substance to both these real-world and spiritual world realities.
Which is why I thought to introduce the issue of
fairness – nothing personal, just a comment general to the human condition.

At any time recently when I
am going through some troublesome emotion (and I regard all emotions to be troublesome, although
they may not seem like it at the moment), I find it helpful to repeatedly remember that what I
am going through, while it seems truly awful, is not actual. The emotions, emanating as they do
from the primitive animal instincts, are chemical changes occurring in the physical body. They
are located and have their origin in the primitive mid-brain region. When an emotion kicks in,
it has definite physical correlates as in, for instance, the surge of adrenalin in anger or
fear. These emotional reactions and the physical changes that occur in the body seem real but
they are not actual.
Just a point here so as to make very clear the
distinction between ‘seem real’, real, very real and actual. It may appear that I am
nitpicking here but the continual failure to make this distinction clear is exactly why all
previous attempts to bring an actual end to human animosity and misery have ended up dying in
the bum.
Human emotions and passions are real in that they
cause very real effects – all of the ongoing actual wars, murders, rapes, domestic violence,
corruption, suicides and despair are the direct result of emotional reactions. There is a direct
and irrefutable link – cause and effect.
However, to a spiritual person who has succeeded in
dissociating from his or her own savage passions and emotions by regarding them as part and
parcel of the ‘real’ world, any undesirable passions and emotions would only ‘seem real’,
as in illusionary, and not Real or True. This is the spiritual process – the undesirable
savage passions are ignored and dismissed while a new disassociated identity is created – the
Real Me, totally Self-centred and myopically identified with the tender desirable emotions. As
such, a spiritual person would say that emotional reactions only seem to be real, but that they
not Real – a description that is cunningly close to your description and yet worlds apart.
For an actualist who has succeeded in diminishing the
savage passions by the process of thorough investigation and incremental elimination, it is
vitally important to remember that emotions and feelings are very real because they are the sole
cause of all human misery and suffering. The only way to push on beyond the traditional ‘I’m
okay – it’s only others who are needlessly fighting and suffering’ self-deception is to
devote yourself totally to the altruistic goal of bringing an end to the actual malice and
sorrow that ravages the human species.
And the only way to do that is by ‘self’-immolating
in order that I, this flesh and body only, can delight in the ambrosial sensuousness of living
in the actual world – for ‘I’ stand in the way of the already, always existing perfection
and purity of the actual world from irrevocably becoming apparent. In short, ‘I’ am stopping
peace on earth happening.
Eventually you start to get glimpses of the fact that
I, this flesh and blood body, have always been here but I only have been playing a selfish and
savage game of survival simply because everyone else insists that this is the way it is, because
this is the way it is, because this is the way it has always been and this is the way it will
always be’ ... and I fell for it hook, line and sinker.
The thrill of peace on earth always triumphs over any
feeling of fear that ‘I’ might have at ‘my’ impending extinction.
Altruism is the key to the door marked ‘Actual
Freedom’ for me and ‘Peace on Earth’ for everyone.

Along with this, I am
questioning so-called spiritual values that I have had for a long time. For quite a while, I
have embraced a variant of Gnosticism, believing that the world we see is an illusion, and that
I actually exist in a timeless realm, in other words, somewhere else other than where I am right
now. The logical extension of this has been the experience that I don’t want to be here, that
this world is not my home and I really exist somewhere else.
The spiritual world is a safe haven for ‘me’, as
the spirit dwelling within the flesh and blood body. When I first discovered the spiritual world
I was disillusioned with the real-world and, as such, the teachings were music to ‘my’ ears.
There was an instinctual recognition of the truth of what was being said, a feeling of coming
home, a deep passionate longing to escape from the real-world. The real-world soon became a bad
dream and the spiritual world soon seemed real, whereas I now understand and experience that
both of these ‘worlds’ are illusionary. Both are but the product of ‘my’ beliefs and ‘my’
feelings yet are made very real by the fact that these worlds are all ‘I’ can know and can
perceive for ‘I’ am but a psychological and psychic entity that has taken up residence
inside this flesh and blood body. It is only by purging this physical corporeal body of every
skerrick of identity that the always everpresent physical tangible palpable actual world –
that we occasionally have glimpses of in a PCE as being delightful, perfect and pure– can
become evident, 24 hrs. a day everyday.
Actual Freedom is far, far superior to the feeling of
enlightenment for it is actual.
The real-world is an instinct-fuelled, blind and
senseless survival battle of humans vs. humans, exemplified by all the wars, rapes, murders,
domestic violence, child abuse, corruption, suicides, despair and loneliness. The spiritual
world is a massive denial of, and dissociation from, this madness, based on the belief that
there is a Greater Reality. The only substantive evidence for this meta-physical world, apart
from my feelings, beliefs and imagination, is the primitive fairy tales of Gods, spirits,
afterlives and other-worlds passed down from the Bronze Age and dispensed as Wisdom to the
desperate and gullible by the priests, shamans and Gurus.
Thank goodness there is now a down-to-earth,
God-less, actual freedom available.

One thing I do not agree
with that I read on the actualism site is that part about their being no reality to the
intuitive, precognition, etc. This is the only thing I meant when I wrote to you about there
being more than the surface. I am not seeing anything other than the rock solid real world, but
it is broader than most seem to see. I cannot, and will not, deny experiences that have happened
most of my 61 years. I have seen events happening many miles away, and had them confirmed by
people who were there. I have seen what was going to happen before it happened many times. I
have seen objects jump off the wall from just my thinking about them doing it. I could write a
book about all of this. So for me to say it is unreal would be to lie. That is all I meant while
talking about there being more. In the latest findings of many scientists these things are just
a part of the nature of the reality we all share.
This is exactly what I mean by the fact that we live
in two different worlds. The awakening from the nightmare of reality to the realization of
Reality is to subjugate a false personal sense of self and replace it with a true, impersonal
sense of Self. The evidence of the truth of this ‘other-world’ is the feelings that arise
and the experiences that are experienced. This other-world is a psychic world – thus one feels
psychically linked with all other humans and the feeling of ‘We are All One’ is realized. In
my case the experience was ‘I am love and Love is me’ – and any personal sense of self was
completely overwhelmed by this new experiencing. I have also experienced the opposite of Grand,
seductive and glorious in this psychic world and that is the Diabolical – a world so
repulsive, so horrendous as to literally tear at one’s innards. I didn’t stay there long,
but long enough to know that the Grand and glorious psychic experiences are underpinned by the
Diabolical, and the dream of good, immortality and unity is but the opposite of the nightmare of
evil, death and a hellish eternal lonely damnation. Duality isn’t eliminated, it is reinforced
by the creation of a new world of imagination – that of Reality.
I don’t deny your experiences and I don’t deny
that they are real. I have had many psychic experiences, all of which could be explained as
psychic aberrations although I have never experienced physical objects moving – but my
question would be ... ‘so what?’ If your psychic abilities were such that you could actually
stop wars and suffering on this planet then I would willingly be sitting at your feet and
following your teachings. We could then point you in the direction of trouble spots in the world
and you could use your powers to end malice and sorrow in the world rather than moving objects
and playing with clairvoyance. Until then, it is obvious that you have got yourself stuck in the
spiritual world Reality – exactly as thousands upon thousands of others have in their search
for a way out of being in the nightmare of real-world reality.
I have already stated my position about the spiritual
world and many people miss the fact that spiritual means
‘pertaining to or
consisting of spirit, immaterial’
as well as
‘Of, pertaining to, or
affecting the spirit or soul, esp. from a religious aspect.’ Oxford Dictionary
While you insist that your awakening, your
experiences and your current state are non-spiritual, as in non-religious, it certainly is
spirit-ual, as in being psychic in nature. Methinks you are splitting hairs, yet again.
I really did enjoy that Web
site. I will return to it many times in the future. It is very much like the one I have been
building, in mind only so far, but I felt it may not do any good. I have the domain name for it
already, which is Friends of Reality. If I get it done someday I will let you know. Maybe then
you will see where I am really coming from.
No. 8, you have written thousands of words to me and
on the mailing list and you have failed to indicate that ‘where you are really coming from’
is anywhere other than your own unique and personal version of the traditional spiritual
world. What I find most telling is that everyone who has Awakened from the nightmare or illusion
of reality has declared ‘We are All One’ and yet they illustrated by their words and actions
that they indeed retain a very personal and ego-centric view of Unity such that theirs is a
distinctive and original version – different from others. This fact alone makes a mockery of
the feeling that ‘We are All One’.
In actuality, all of the psychic world is seen for
what it is – a fear-driven world of either doom and gloom reality typified by ‘Life’s a
bitch and then you die’ or the phantasmagorical Reality of awakened souls awaiting their final
release into Nirvana-land.
An actualist is concerned with peace on earth, in
this lifetime and, as such, turns away from all psychological illusion and psychic delusions, no
matter how seductive and powerful.
The actual world lies 180 degrees in the opposite
direction to the spirit-ual world.

I see that we may well have a lively conversation on
these matters. I welcome the chance to talk with you about the sense we make of the world,
something I have found very rare, particularly in the spiritual world. A belief in a particular
Path, Guru or God, by necessity, means that it is then impossible to question the very nature of
the message. The funny thing is, I was attracted to Rajneesh originally, as the offer appeared
to be freedom from religion and dogma. It was only 2 years ago that it began to dawn on me that
what I had got myself into was yet another version of belief in God, a Supreme being, ‘Intelligence’
or ‘Energy’ that is somehow ‘behind’ the scenes and that we all desperately seek ‘union’
with. It was shocking to my very core, the ground literally shifted beneath the feet of who I
‘thought’ and ‘felt’ I was.
So, in response to your statement –
Reality is what one realizes.
Actuality is all that is occurring throughout the Universe.
Maybe you missed the first post I sent which
indicates the THREE worlds that are possible for humans to perceive, two are imaginary (but
appear to be real) but only one is actual.

Actual Freedom is a freedom from the Human Condition
of malice and sorrow. One of the first steps is to become free of the belief in God and an
after-life.
I have no need to believe in
these because I have experienced their reality...
Yes, that is the aim of the spiritual path – to
experience the reality of God to such an extent that one becomes God. When I was a kid people
were locked away if they proclaimed themselves to be God, because there was only one God
possible in the Christian monotheistic culture that I was raised in. The Eastern Religions are a
bit looser with many Gods, with many priests declaring themselves as God-men. In India today
there are a plethora of God-men – each street corner has a Saddhu, each temple an Awakened one
and each Ashram has their own God. Like all things the fashion will die from over-exposure.
Already the concept of ‘we are all Gods’ has come in.
The questions I would pose are – When everybody
awakens but still has a few ‘personality quirks’, such as getting angry or feeling sad, will
there anything be different at all? Will men and women live together in peace and harmony? Will
there be consensus instead of confrontation? Will people stop fighting each other? Will sorrow
disappear from the world?
Just because you feel something, it doesn’t make it
actual. It may feel ‘real’ but that does not make it actual as in palpable, tangible,
tactile, corporeal, material and not merely passive.
There is a world of difference...

Think about it ... would we
really appreciate in the long run to have things just as we want them to be, to know exactly
what life was about. No, I would not think so. Life is an enigma and that’s perhaps the only
way it could be.
It’s good you said ‘perhaps’ because
this is another of the furphies given to the world by the God-believers in order that nobody
dares find out for themselves. The actual world is literally bursting with meaning, each moment
again, whereas the real world is steeped in lament and the spiritual world is wallowing in
compassion.

After our conversation the other day, I have been
musing a bit about the word freedom and what it means to most people.
Freedom 1
Exemption or release from slavery or imprisonment; personal liberty. 2 The quality of
being free from the control of fate or necessity; the power of self-determination attributed to
the will. 3 The quality of being free or noble; nobility, generosity, liberality. 4
The state of being able to act without hindrance or restraint; liberty of action; the right of,
to do.. 5 Exemption from a specific burden, charge, or service; an immunity. 6
Exemption from arbitrary, despotic, or autocratic control; independence; civil liberty. 7
Readiness or willingness to act. 8 The right of participating in the privileges attached
to citizenship of a town or city (often given as an honour to distinguished people), or to
membership of a company or trade. Also, the document or diploma conferring such freedom. b
Foll. by of: unrestricted access to or use of. c The liberty or right to practise a
trade; the fee paid for this. 9 Foll. by from. The state of not being affected by (a
defect, disadvantage, etc.); exemption. 10 Orig., the overstepping of due customary
bounds in speech or behaviour, undue familiarity. Now also, frankness, openness, familiarity;
outspokenness. 11 Facility or ease in action or activity; absence of encumbrance. 12
Boldness or vigour of conception or execution. Oxford
Dictionary
The dictionary provides a reasonably straightforward
definition and for an actualist the pertinent section is freedom ‘from’, as in –
9 ‘Foll. by from. The state of not being affected by (a defect,
disadvantage, etc.); exemption’.
Thus a freedom from the human condition is ‘The state of not being affected by (a defect, disavantage, etc.),
exemption’, from the human condition. Given that the salient attributes of
the human condition are malice and sorrow, a more pragmatic definition is an actual freedom from
malice and sorrow.
Much confusion arises for the seeker of freedom,
peace and happiness for the word freedom traditionally means something quite different. In
spiritual terms, freedom means an escape from, or release from, something undesirable – life
as-it-is, in the world as-it-is, right here and right now – and the discovery of, or
realization of, a more desirable somewhere else – being ‘present’ in the spiritual world,
anyplace but here and anytime but now. I am having a correspondence with an awakened spiritual
teacher at the moment that well illustrates this difference –
I have no problem with all
you say about this rock-solid world. I too feel the same way. Except there is more to it than
the surface, and it is just as real.
Aye indeed, for you do not live in this rock-solid
world for you see it as merely the surface. Where you spend most of your time is in the
spiritual world that you, and many others, believe underlies this rock-solid world. By holding
any spiritual belief you can never be actually here in this physical rock-solid world of sensual
delight, purity and perfection. I always find it kind of cute that spiritualists insist that
they are here – in the actual world where we flesh and blood human beings live – whereas
they are desperately trying to be ‘there’ in the spiritual world.
It’s good that you have made the distinction
between where you live and where I live so crystal clear. You see I have an enormous yes to
being right here, right now in the rock-solid physical actual world, whereas you have an
enormous yes to being somewhere else in the spiritual world.
We do indeed live in different worlds...
Peter, List B No 8, 19.5.2000
There seems to be a very deep-set misunderstanding
that arises even from the running of the question ‘How am I experiencing this moment of
being alive?’ for the traditional approach would be – am ‘I’ feeling safe and
comfortable ‘inside’ this body despite what is happening in the rock-solid world ‘out
there’? This approach to the question merely perpetuates the self as an entity that is
separate from the actual world, it does nothing to actively demolish and break down the barriers
that prevents one as a mortal flesh and blood body being fully immersed in and engaged in the
business of doing what is happening, right here and now in the physical, rock-solid actual
world. This actual freedom is 180 degrees opposite to the spiritual freedom which is the escape
from being here, right now in this the only moment one can experience being alive.
An exchange I recently had with another correspondent
illustrates a further aspect of spiritual belief about the actual physical world where we flesh
and blood humans actually live –
Your view is very
materialistic in many ways and we both know that we have far too much of that in our society.
Isn’t it the materialistic/ mechanical outlook on life, humans, possessions etc. that in many
ways creates our misery?
Who said that being comfortable, safe, warm, well
fed, well clothed, well informed, well entertained, healthy, etc. creates our misery? How many
people in the world haven’t got even a basic material level of shelter, food, water,
education, medicine, etc – and is this not real misery?
This nonsense about the evils of materialism is put
out by those miserable souls who have a vested interest in human beings believing that existence
on earth is essentially a suffering existence – because it always has been, it always should
be. All of spirituality, both Eastern and Western, teaches that human existence is essentially a
suffering existence and also that ultimate peace is only possible after physical death – i.e.
anywhere but here and anytime but now. Added to this, the modern day religion of
Environmentalism preaches that there is far too much material comfort and its believers actively
work to deny others in less developed countries the material comforts they themselves enjoy.
I started my search for freedom peace and happiness
on the understanding that despite the fact that I had been successful in ‘real’ world terms
– 2 cars, wife, 2 kids, house, good career – I was neither free, nor peaceful nor happy. For
me the question was ‘How come I have everything I could desire and yet I was neither happy nor
harmless?’ I discovered that to blame materialism for human malice and sorrow is to believe
the spiritual viewpoint that life on earth is ultimately unsatisfactory, and to see physical
comfort and sensual enjoyment as a sign of indulgence and evil.
What I eventually discovered was that the answer lay
in an area considered by all to be impossible to question – the very feelings, emotions and
instinctual passions that humans beings hold so dear.
Peter, List B No 10, 17.5.2000.
Again this exchange illustrates that actualism lies
180 degrees in the opposite direction to spiritualism. I don’t seek an escape from being here,
now in the actual world – I seek to break free from all that prevents me from being here. In
the case above, to do this means breaking free of the spiritual belief that material comfort is
the cause of our misery – a deeply cynical and perverse view of life on earth that merely
perpetuates human suffering.
We were chatting the other day about the marked
difference between being here, doing what is happening and the feeling of not being here that
can cause a frustration with life as-it-is. The frustration with life as-it-is, right here and
now, most often causes a passionate desire to be somewhere else which serves only to prevent one
from being here. For an actualist, any period of time spent not being here is clearly a waste of
time. Any time spent being bored, angry, pissed off, feeling sad, lack luster, annoyed, etc. is
time wasted time lost from fully living this the only moment one can experience being alive. All
of these ‘time-offs’ have to be explored and investigated and understood so as to prevent
the same old ‘time-outs’ occurring in the future. It takes a bit of practice and a lot of
effort and attention as to ‘how’ am I experiencing this moment of being alive, but pretty
soon one gets the hang of it.
Soon one finds that a switch has been made from being
resentful at having to be here to resenting and wanting to eliminate whatever it is that
prevents one from being here.
Being a bit lazy, I’ll post another bit from a
recent correspondence that illustrates this point –
Sometimes the real test of a
relationship isn’t so much being together but how does it end, if it does? And how free is it?
For me the main event is always here and now, which
means if I am living with someone then I have no concern about when, how or if it will end. If I
am not happy now, if I am annoyed, moody, discontent, out of it, lacklustre, sad or whatever
then I am somewhere else but here and now, not doing what is happening in this moment of time.
By fully taking on board the fact that this very moment is the only moment I can experience,
means that I have abandoned the idea of postponement. For me there is no end of this
relationship for, if it happens, it is not happening now. The exquisiteness and sensual delight
of being here, doing what is happening, means the ending of the idea that I am coming from
somewhere or that I am going somewhere. Freedom lies in being absolutely locked into, and fully
committed to this very moment of time – to fully embrace being a flesh and blood human being
on this paradisiacal material earth. Peter, List
B No 8, 27.4.2000
There is a world of difference from the spiritual
freedom of feeling that one is here, and actually being here. It does take a
bloody-mindedness to continually break from the habit of lazing back into commonly held beliefs
and resentments about the impossibility of life being easy in this actual world. The only way to
do this is to actively investigate and understand all of the beliefs, morals, ethics,
psittacisms, feelings and passions that actively conspire to prevent one’s freedom. Of course,
given that these dearly-held attributes are all that ‘I’ am made of, this process is
actually a process of ‘self’-immolation which is why it lacks popular appeal and is
stubbornly refuted and objected to by spiritual escapists.
Just a post-script to add some clarity about being
here as it applies during the process to becoming actually free from the human condition. At the
beginning of the process the difference between the pure consciousness experience and normal
life is so extreme that the PCE clearly is experienced as being another world. Given that ‘who
one is’ is a fully developed psychological and psychic entity living in a psychological and
psychic construct of real-world and spiritual world beliefs, the self-less experience of the
actual world has to appear other-worldly when one returns to normal. The marked similarity
between the actual world and the real world is the physicality of both, whereas the vast
difference between the actual world and the spiritual world is the physicality of the actual
world and the ethereality of the spiritual world.
This difference gives one the clue to where purity
and perfection really lie – in the self-less state, and not in the self-realized state. With
this knowledge as one’s touchstone one then sets about the business of actively demolishing
one’s self, and this process, if undertaken with pure intent, means that each time one
experiences a PCE the marked and startling difference between the experience and normal is
reduced in proportion to the work done in the mean time. This can initially be quite
disconcerting for what one sets out to do was to go ‘there’ – to the world experienced in
the PCE whereas what one in fact is experiencing is the diminishing of one’s self to the point
where one is coming here to the actual world and to this actual moment. It’s cute stuff and
absolutely fascinating to experience. I experienced it as a half-way point – a sort of turning
around 180 degrees from wanting to escape from here to there to wanting to be here. This is a
literal tearing away from humanity, from both grim reality and escapist Reality. Then, as I said
to No. 8, –
I have an enormous yes to being right here, right now
in the rock-solid physical actual world, whereas you have an enormous yes to being somewhere
else in the spiritual world.
Good Hey,

But three facts clearly indicate a new approach is
necessary –
- Firstly the continual failure of moral and ethics to bring anything vaguely resembling peace
and harmony to any human interactions and, if one is honest, in one’s own life.
- Secondly, the fact that the self-imposition of morals and ethics – one’s social identity
– in reality becomes a straight-jacket that one yearns to be free from.
- Thirdly, we know from our pure consciousness experiences that purity and perfection is
possible when ‘me’ and all ‘my’ passions are temporarily absent.
The first point means that the honest seeker of
freedom, peace and happiness will not settle for a suppression or transcendence of unwanted or
undesirable emotions.
The second point means that the honest seeker of
freedom, peace and happiness will not merely swap one set of morals and ethics for another for
he or she will be acutely aware that the ‘becoming spiritual’ option is merely adopting
another identity and another even more insidious form of entrapment. All people are instilled
with spiritual-based morals and ethics and everyone who has sought freedom has developed a
spiritual identity to varying degrees which is why the elimination of one’s social identity is
the primary focus of an actualist. The clue to morals and ethics in action are feelings such as
guilt, shame, embarrassment and resentment on the one hand and pride, piousness, arrogance and
condescension on the other. So much conflict, dissension, confusion and obscuration is caused by
a stubborn unwillingness to rigorously examine the facticity and effectiveness of the morals,
ethics and beliefs we are instilled with since birth. Most of the objections to being happy and
harmless on the AF web-site go no deeper than obstinate and superficial objections on the basis
of right and wrong, good and bad rather than a mutual discussion based on what is silly and what
is sensible, what is belief and what is fact. Only by eliminating one’s social identity can
one eliminate the constant flood of minor feelings, emotions and worries thus leaving one free
to tackle one’s instinctual being, ‘me’ at my core.
The third point means the pure consciousness
experience gives one the knowledge and confidence that not only is it possible to live without
the burden of ‘self’-centred instinctual passions, it is essential to do so in order to
directly experience the already and always existing peace on earth.

Maximum Potential
‘I use the term ‘maximum potential’ to express
in a fresh way an indescribable state that we have endowed with many names. <Snip>
Heraclitus called it the Hidden Harmony’, Lao Tzu named it ‘the Tao’, Jesus referred to it
as ‘the Kingdom of God’ and ‘the peace that passeth all understanding’. Currently, the
word ‘enlightenment’ is frequently being used. <Snip> When we use a word such as
enlightenment, each person interprets it through the mind, which, of course, is the only way you
can make an intellectual interpretation. Yet, in this case, we cannot really know the state this
word is attempting to describe, for we cannot know it through the mind. This inexplicable
experience occurs when the mind stops or is bypassed, therefore it is impossible for the
intellect to comprehend it.’ P. Lowe, in Each Moment
– A New Way to Live
Well I do beg to differ, Paul. You stated quite
clearly in your introduction that prior to your awakening ‘My life became devoted to the
possibility of expanding human consciousness’. After years of search you ‘really gave
up. Then suddenly it happened’. What you found you put very clearly in words in your
opening statement of the book – ‘a way of living where you can feel happy and joyful and
free of fear.’ Why all this ‘beyond words’ mumbo-jumbo? One of the most powerful
aspects of language in the hands of mystics is their capacity to weave an aura of mystery around
a simple feeling. If one assiduously searches for an expansion of one’s human consciousness
with enough intent one eventually arrives at a point where one realizes one’s maximum
potential – which is to be a God-on-earth who has transcended the mundane dualities. For those
who are suffering from Post-Satori Syndrome (PSS) this is typified by ‘feeling happy,
joyful and free of fear’. For most, this state wears off after days or weeks as ‘real’
world reality seeps back in. For those who go all the way, an Altered State of Consciousness can
occur whereby one’s personal ego collapses to be replaced by a new identity that is Divine and
Immortal, Timeless and Eternal.
Granted, this is a grand, overwhelming and
self-consuming feeling, but it is only a feeling. The ancient search for ‘expanding human
consciousness’ has, and always will, produce passionate feelings of freedom inevitably
intertwined with delusions of divinity. When one seeks to ‘expand’ one will
instinctually become ALL (as in expanded to be Really Big) for if you seek hard enough you can
become anything you want – or believe anything you want to believe.

Chapter 9 When the Spirit
Takes Over
Suggestion to the reader: The experience of this
chapter can be deepened if you have it read to you while you close your eyes.
I invite you to join me in
exploring the possibilities suggested in this reverie. P.
Lowe, in Each Moment – a New Way to Live
The classic way to listen to fairy stories is to
close one’s eyes and imagine the story being told to you is real. It is a well-used device for
instilling moral tales of good and evil in children, in hypnosis and psycho-therapy sessions,
and in the spiritual world it is used in Satsangs, meditations, discourses, past-life recessions
and the like. Closing one’s eyes is a way of cutting off the primary sensorial input and
disassociating from the physical world, thereby allowing one to become more fully engaged in
unfettered imagination – i.e thinking totally unrelated to reality and therefore twice removed
from actuality.

Chapter 11 The ‘I’ Is
Not You
There is a place inside all of us which is empty and
at the same time, full. It has no form, yet it is overflowing with energy. It is still, yet it
is continuously moving, though this movement has no pattern. It simply is. Nothing goes on
there, and yet everything is there, formlessly. Although this state is unnamable, we will call
it ‘the source’. As with most people, you will probably live unaware of this source in your
daily lives. You live in your ‘I’, which is full of mind activity that constantly measures
and evaluates. <snip> Your sense of yourself revolves around that ‘I’ to such an
extent that you believe it is you. P. Lowe, in
Each Moment – a New Way to Live
The last sentence points to the fact that the
spiritual philosophy and, as such, a good deal of modern psychiatry, identifies the ‘self’
as an illusion. The ‘self’ is an illusion made substantial and real due to an ignorance of
the facts of what it is to be a human being and a lack of a direct unfiltered experience of
actuality. The traditional subversion in spirituality is to shift one’s identity from what
they call ‘I’ as ego to ‘me’ as soul – the ‘place inside all of us which is empty
and at the same time, full’. My experience is that this state is empty of thoughts of ‘I’
but full of feelings of ‘me’. This feeling of ‘place’ and its resulting feeling
that one is connected to ‘the source’ – or that one is ‘the source’ –
is even more fictional than the original fictional ‘I’.
The everyday-reality ‘I’ is an understandable
illusion for we have, apart from brief glimpses of actuality in Pure Consciousness Experiences,
no other way to interpret the fact that we are aware, conscious human beings. By the time our
awareness develops in childhood there is already an ‘I’ being aware due to
- our genetically-encoded animal ‘self’ that develops into our automatic program of
instinctual animal passions, and
- our carrot and stick induction of social beliefs, morals and ethics that becomes the
habitual operating program that is our social identity.
The ancient fairy tale solution to feeling free of
this everyday-reality ‘I’ was to develop an identity that paralleled and mimicked that of
the ancient Gods. The only escape from everyday grim and mortal reality for many was – and
still is – to aspire to either become a shaman thus evoking the power and authority of being
God’s representative on earth, or to become a God-man or God-woman in one’s own right. It’s
time to debunk the notion that this is anything other than an ancient escapist fairy tale –
the best way that the ancients found to feel free of an everyday fearful ‘I’ and the
everyday misery and grim reality of being part of the animal food chain.
*
We are told that we operate at
5 percent of our potential, and that small percentage is the ‘I’. Science maintains we
experience only one billionth of reality and this is squeezed through that ‘I’, through the
restriction of saying ‘this is good, that is bad; this is benefit, this is harm’. This is
how we block the gate to the state that no one has ever been able to describe – the Tao, the
Hidden Harmony, the Kingdom of God. P. Lowe, in Each
Moment – a New Way to Live
The mind boggles at the thought of the scientist with
his reality-experiencing meter calibrated to one billion units. ‘Excuse me madam, could I just
check your reality-experiencing level?’ Mr. Rajneesh was equally inept and devious in his
clipping on a bit of theoretical science to his religious teachings in order to pretend that
there was some factual basis to what he was teaching.
This is just plain silly nonsense but the next
statement points directly to the harm that believing these fairy tales actually causes in
perpetuating human malice and sorrow. By saying we operate ‘through the restriction of
saying ‘this is good, that is bad; this is benefit, this is harm’ he makes a leap that
both denies and negates sensible thought and, more significantly, any consideration of the
effects that one’s actions have on one’s fellow human beings.
Judging a situation, event or action as good or bad,
or right or wrong, is to make a judgement based on one’s social programming and one’s
instinctual ‘self’-ish passions – but then to deny any sensible judgement based on what is
beneficial and what is harmful to others is taking self-interest and self-centredness to the
extreme. Those who follow religious beliefs, be they Eastern or Western, ultimately make no
sensible judgement as to whether their beliefs, emotions and actions are harmful to others –
and the religious world is full of such self-righteous behaviour. This self-righteous disregard
for other human beings is the very reason that human history is a litany of religious wars,
crusades, tortures, persecutions, perversions, repression, recriminations, prejudices,
retributions, pogroms, etc!

Reality as we know it is
melting down, changing, shifting far beyond what we have expected. <Snip> When something
is found to be possible that was previously thought to be impossible, it suddenly starts to
occur all over the world. In the past, we rarely heard of people who had experienced spontaneous
healing from illnesses that were said to be terminal. Now, many people are having this
experience. We used to hear only occasionally about anyone who had clinically died and been
bought back to life. Many cases have now been documented and the people who have had this
experience tell us that we will not die. Thousands of people are saying ‘We do not die when
the body stops functioning.’ Of course, Zen and Hindu masters have been saying this for
thousands of years. Bankai said ‘We are not born, we will not die.’ P. Lowe, in Each Moment – a New Way to Live
Ah, the miracles are happening to the true believers,
consciousness is rising, the evidence is pouring in that God is with us, we are not alone, there
is life after death, salvation is nigh! A brief reading of the history of religion will reveal
that these promises, signs, omens and portents of a Golden Age dawning have been an ongoing and
recurring beat-up. This same investigation will reveal that the shamans’ promised good times
and signs of miracles are inevitably and inseparably accompanied by promises of evil, hell-fire
and signs of doom and damnation.
‘Ya can’t have one without the other’ as the
old song goes.
It is curious that Paul should quote Bankai and not
Mr. Rajneesh who had ‘Never born, never died’ chiselled on his tombstone. Paul was a
follower of Rajneesh for over 20 years that I know of, yet he makes no mention of him in his
book.
*
There really is no easy way to
explain a shift in consciousness. It means that the person who is looking at reality, the one
you are familiar with, the one you call ‘I’ is going to be different. The difference is not
only occurring in what the ‘I’ sees and experiences, the fundamental ‘I’ itself is
starting to change. P. Lowe, in Each Moment – a New
Way to Live
Oh, come on Paul. It is easy to explain and many,
many people have explained it. The shift in consciousness is from being an ‘I’ who thinks
and feels it is trapped inside a mortal flesh and blood body to becoming a ‘me’ who thinks
and feels it is completely disassociated from reality and completely disembodied ... and
therefore immortal.
A shift in consciousness is an imaginary, and
impassioned, shift in identity.
*
When I think about my own
spiritual journey, it has really never been about being ‘spiritual’. Finding peace has
nothing to do with discovering other dimensions or becoming enlightened. It has been about being
here in each moment and when I have gone unconscious, saying, ‘Oh – slipped up there,’ and
beginning anew, right now, present in this moment, accepting what is. P. Lowe, in Each Moment – a New Way to Live
I take it then that we can ignore Chapter 1 which is
about ‘the source’, the Kingdom of God, the state of timelessness, enlightenment, the
unformed. Chapter 2 talks about a state beyond the state of the mind, an indescribable place of
love, subconscious levels, varying levels of awareness. Chapter 3 is about deeper levels of
feeling, the cusp of a new dimension, dropping into being, a new level of freedom, another level
of aliveness, etc. I won’t go on, but every chapter is littered with references to an other
dimension, other than everyday reality. This is the whole point of spiritual belief and practice
– to attain to an ‘other dimension’, other than the physical, and then to be ‘present’
in this ‘other dimension’ in each moment.
Nice try Paul, but maybe you should read what words
you have written. You may well be sincere in feeling that you are present, as in here, but in
fact you are present, as in ‘there’, – another dimension called the spiritual world. And
are you really saying you never aspired to the glamour and glory and power of enlightenment?
Methinks you are stretching credibility and taking denial to a new level – a new dimension
even – with your statement.
Your spiritual journey may not have started off being
about spiritual other dimensions and enlightenment but you sure have ended up in the thick of
it. I do understand, because my search for freedom, peace and happiness was not about other
dimensions or enlightenment but if you tread the spiritual path you will end up in an other
dimension trying to become enlightened. Par for the course, as they say. For me the wake-up call
came when I found myself shouting Ya-Hoo to an empty chair and from then on it became
increasingly difficult to maintain the lie that being on the spiritual path and all that it
entails is anything other than being in an old-time religion. T’was a crippling blow to my
pride to admit it and a long journey out of the religious world but once one sees and
acknowledges it is all madness and delusion it is impossible to stay a believer.
The denial that abounds in the spiritual world is a
most curious phenomena. It is as though the followers and devotees block out any idea or notion
that they are in fact deep in religion and following religious belief – the very thing that
many were trying to become free of when they left the ‘normal’ world. I have had occasion to
say to many of the spiritual people that I had known from the past that it is so good to have
left the spiritual path, and they all have said ‘Yes, for me too!’ ... and then proceeded to
tell me they are sitting with a Guru, have just done a group or are heading off to the East to
meditate or go to an Ashram. Is this denial in action or merely a severe case of cognitive
dysfunction due to excessive exposure to Eastern religious belief? I am a curious.
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