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Selected Correspondence Peter Excellence Experience
Some time ago I remember thinking about that quite a bit and remember coming to the realization that the wonderful thing about the way of actualism is that firstly it is not too difficult to work out where your at. i.e.: good 99% of the time, great 99% of the time, or PCE 99% of the time. Of course, in the last example any brain pain could just be the beginning of the end. Secondly, it is possible to explore any of the above to see if there is any emotion behind it. That is a pretty sure indication that it is made up by ‘me’. I think it may be useful that we coin another term for that lingering on the edge of a PCE or that almost, but not quite, 99% PCE. There is a woman who describes this as an ‘excellence experience’ – the best one can be while the ‘self’ is still present. It is most definitely not a PCE for one can look inside, as it were and there is still a ‘me’ as a feeler and an ‘I’ as a thinker but it is so far above normal it is worthwhile naming and labelling. The benefit of this acknowledgement for an actualist is that these experiences are the proof of the pudding that one’s effort is bringing reward. The idea is to expand these ‘excellence experiences’ until one can go to bed at night-time saying that one has had a 99% perfect day in the world as-it-is, with people as-they-are. This is no small thing in a world where doom and gloom is the norm and were escaping to the self-deception and fantasy of yet another world, is held to be the ‘only’ solution. So, what I am proposing is a new term – an excellence experience – in order that we don’t get into the spiritual trap of watering down experiences and confusing terms such as in the fashionable interposing of Awakened and Enlightened. Thus Virtual Freedom – living in an almost constant experience of excellence – is a prerequisite stage for an actualist prior to Actual Freedom. Once one can reach this stage, it is then possible to begin the next stage of dismantling the tender emotions, exactly as Richard did in his years between Enlightenment and Actual Freedom. This is more subtle, and in many ways more demanding, work for this is entirely new territory – way out beyond both normal and completely opposite to spiritual. Because of this, a considerable period of gaily living via common sense, freed of emotional turmoil, is vital and a necessary preparation for the final and irrevocable step into an actual freedom from the human condition. What do you think? Is this a useful new term or is it only confusing? Actualism is totally new and we are writing the script, forging the path, and I welcome your comment and any others from the list.
Second, yesterday I had several experiences of being ‘near’ PCEs. I know that ‘I’ was still around, but the senses were greatly heightened, yet effortlessly so. I remember reading about someone in virtual freedom talking about the body feeling almost like constant orgasm. Anyway, when those moments happen – I definitely notice a tingling sensation throughout the body that might be described that way. Also, I used to wonder how anyone could find the experience of say, just lying in bed, interesting – but it’s starting to seem to me that it’s not so much ‘what’ is happening or being experienced that is fascinating, but ‘that’ it is happening here and now – that is where the real fascination comes in. Yep. Feeling excellent and experiencing the delight of being here on this paradisaical planet can be heady stuff – utterly thrilling at times. I can’t remember whether you were around at the time but we did have a discussion on the list some time ago about near PCEs, mini PCEs and so on. What came out of that discussion was the term ‘excellence experience’, so as to maintain a distinction between such experiences and a pure consciousness experience when both ‘I’ and ‘Me’ are temporarily in abeyance. A few links from this correspondence –
… and on the topic of discernment –
I don’t want to be a probity policeman insisting on the use of particular terms however I do see the sense in making a clear distinction between completely different experiences both for the sake of accurate communication and as an aid to fruitful ‘self’-investigation. This is also the very reason I put together the Glossary. As in all fields of scientific study, it is sensible to use commonly understood and agreed upon terminology when studying, personally investigating and discussing the full range of human experiencing – which is after all what this mailing list is about.
There is one more thing that I would like to ask you about though. In a previous post (I tried to find it in the archives but could not find the exact passage), you stated that you had had recently a glimpse or a preview of Actual Freedom, and that it occurred to you to mention that one would have to be considerably well prepared to ‘self-immolate’. I responded to you from that previous post, but skipped over this section entirely and then, after I sent the post off, found myself wondering just exactly what you had gone through. So it has occurred to me to question you about this experience you had:
In the period leading up to Virtual Freedom I had many realizations and many PCEs in what was a fairly tumultuous period. It was as though my familiar normal/ spiritual world was collapsing and any pure consciousness experiences literally felt as though I was entering another world, which the actual world is compared to ‘my’ reality. These PCE offer a glimpse of the human condition while standing outside of it, as it where, and the trick is to not only experience the delight of the actual world but also take a clear-eyed look at the appalling malice and debilitating sorrow of the human condition. Thus informed, I always had something to do when entering back into ‘my’ reality. The next period of Virtual Freedom was largely concerned with removing any of these residual feelings that create the gulf and that stand in the way of a permanent pure experience of the actual world. In Virtual Freedom pure consciousness experiences are more like glimpses of normality, as in ‘I have always been here, it’s just that this ‘person’ keeps getting in the way’. In both these stages I always knew that the PCEs that crept up on me were temporary experiences and that eventually they would imperceptibly fade away and some neurosis or feeling would creep in, no matter how subtle or how fleeting. However, twice during this period of Virtual Freedom, I have had experiences that were more explicit in nature. In these PCEs I clearly and startlingly realized that in order for me, this body, to permanently experience actuality, ‘me’, this identity, would have to die or disappear entirely. The experience I recently wrote about was of the same ilk, I simply walked through the sliding door one morning out on to our balcony and had a glimpse of how it would be if there was no way back to being normal. I remember thinking – ‘this is how it must have been for Richard when his whole psychological and psychic identity collapsed and he had no way back’. I understood then the nature of his angst at being the first human on the planet to have no psychological and psychic identity whatsoever – to have no ‘self’ dwelling inside his body. The latest experience on our balcony was very brief and the automatic fear and subsequent thrill took my breath away for a second or two before the realization of the nature of the experience kicked in. The fear quickly passed as I began to muse on the consequences of what I had experienced. From this experience I realized that what I needed to do was to slip out from control, now that I had sufficient practical experience of the utter safety, purity and perfection of being here, sans identity, in this actual physical tangible world. Since then more often than not, whenever I ask myself ‘how am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’ I do not get an ‘I’ - answer for there is no ‘I’ operating in this moment. A similar thing would occur whenever someone asked me, as a greeting, ‘How are you?’ – I could muster no ‘I’-answer for the answer was always that I was excellent as a near ‘self’-less experience is always ambrosial. Another thing that has happened since this experience is that I have no interest in, or desire for, realizations any more. It is clear to me that the time for realizations is over and I am now ready for the real thing – the final ending of any ‘self’ centred thoughts or inner conversations and the final ending of the entire affective faculty, i.e. the end of the chemical flows that are automatically experienced as instinctual passions. It is a thrilling and enthralling time, yet utterly and exquisitely normal at the same time.
Just a personal note on this here: I have noticed some very rare times when I am so incredibly comfortable dealing, say, with my boss, that there is no fear or aggression involved whatsoever. These moments, which must either be during PCEs or near-PCE experiences, are in such striking contrast to the other fitful, fearful, ‘walking on eggshells’ feelings that I usually get when dealing with authority figures, that I have wondered what is happening when they occur. Like I said, it does not occur very often, but when it does it is in such striking contrast to what usually happens in day-to-day interaction that I am utterly fascinated about how to make it happen again and again. Yet notice the paradox in this statement: I want it to happen, but it only happens when ‘I’, the resentful, fearful, respectful, obliging, well-behaved entity, am not. Nevertheless, it is an exciting and fascinating business. There is an autonomy, which is marked by a complete absence of fear and aggression. There is a freedom from the entire human emotional-instinctual package, and the really exciting thing is that one can experience this for themselves, as in these excellence and PCE experiences, before the ‘main event’ of self-immolation, if or whether it is to occur. I have written in my Journal of a stand-out PCE that pointed me firmly on the path to eliminating my own sorrow and aggression:
The amazing thing is that, some four years later, not only is fear of, and aggression towards, other human beings almost non-existent but increasingly it is replaced by a spontaneous genuine bonhomie towards my fellow human beings. A Virtual Freedom not only means a virtual end to malice and sorrow but a growing unmasking and unshackling of the underlying purity and perfection of a ‘self’-less flesh and blood body. This change is a noticeable, tangible change and nowhere more so than in interacting with other people. Peter’s Text ©The Actual Freedom Trust: 1997-. All Rights Reserved. |
