November 14 2024

JOSEF: This is amazing and answers a lot of questions I’ve had over the years, thank you! So is there an additional step to feeling good after you’ve stopped feeding the feeling? Is it the backing out of habitual emotional patterns that facilitates feeling good? I’ve noticed sometimes that this is usually enough to get me to neutral, and then feeling good becomes a “oh of course!” kind of thing. Sometimes though, I will remain in neutral. Perhaps that’s a sign that I’m still stuck in another emotional pattern. But instead I’ll try to push myself from neutral to feeling good and this usually backfires.

VINEETO: Hi Josef,

Ok, one obstacle is removed, a bad habit which you identified and declined to repeat, well done. Have you patted yourself on the back for it? Is there another feeling-bad habit still lurking behind the first?

Yes there is, the habit to push yourself!

To understand this habitual pattern and stop feeding it, you need to grasp that ‘I’ am ‘my’ feelings and ‘my’ feeling are ‘me’ – ‘your’ feelings are not something out there removed from ‘you’ that can be pushed into a different position like chess figures.

Here Richard, or rather his co-respondent explains this in detail –

RESPONDENT: ... incidentally, Richard, how can they be ‘an hereditary occurrence’ and be of my choosing at the same time?

RICHARD: You do comprehend that you are your feelings/ your feelings are you (‘I’ am ‘my’ feelings and ‘my’ feelings are ‘me’) do you not? Viz.:

• [Respondent]: ‘It has taken me a hell of a long time to understand the difference between *having* feelings and *being* those feelings. Because I have not clearly understood this, I’ve never quite got the hang of paying attention to feelings without praise or blame, and without notions of innocence and culpability, right and wrong, etc getting in the way.

This makes things very interesting. The moment I regard my ‘self’ as ‘having’ a feeling, I’m split down the middle and there’s a secondary reaction on the part of the social identity (an urge to “do something” about the feeling, which in turn evokes more feelings, and so on). Conversely, if I recognise that I *am* the feeling, it most often dissolves into thin air – and usually pretty quickly too.

This is great. It’s especially helpful with regard to anger and frustration which have been two of my biggest hurdles to date. Previously, when I caught myself being angry, annoyed or frustrated, identifying and paying attention to this feeling would NOT cause it to disappear. On the contrary, the feeling and the awareness of myself as ‘having’ it would sometimes become like a microphone and amplifier locked into a screaming feedback loop.

I’m really pleased that this is no longer happening. It seems almost too easy’. [emphasis in original]. (Thursday 28/10/2004 6:55 PM AEST).

And again there is a reference to how ‘almost too easy’ actualism is. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 60g, 30 October 2005a).

The funny aspect is, as Kuba so perspicaciously pointed out, that humans seem to have no problem feeling bad or sad feelings but when it comes to changing their mood to the felicitous feelings, dissociation sets in. And as Richard pointed out in the paragraph before the quoted one, victim mentality can play its part –

Richard: “(having a victim mentality, it turned out, ran much deeper than the singular mentation such nomenclature indicates).”

Dissociating oneself from oneself can be quite an ingrained habit and it is well worth to establish a habitual affective attentiveness to be able to catch it/decline it when it is happening.

Cheers Vineeto

March 30 2025

VINEETO: Hi Andrew,

You just took the wrong turn-off – here is the sign, just like at all wrong entries on Australian high-ways: “Wrong Way, TURN BACK”.

Without the pure intent to be happy and harmless there is no way you can give yourself a categorically overarching permission for “forsaking all other directives, missives, constitutions, allotments, franchises, contracts, agreements, treaties, implied or otherwise.” This is not “audacity”, this is plainly your “subversive tendency” taking back command.

Please, first find out experientially about pure intent before being guided by “audacity” and other fool-hardy actions. (Actualism, Actualvineeto, Andrew, 28 March 2025)

JOSEF: Hi Vineeto,

I have to admit this reply surprised me quite a bit. It seems to me like you are trying to “gate keep” feeling good somehow. I thought Andrew was spot on here as it’s the approach I have also been following recently with decent success. Too often in the real world we are so prone to feeling bad for even the smallest reason. This audacity he mentions seems like exactly what is needed to feel good “come what may”.

VINEETO: Hi Josef,

The reason I answered Andrew in such categorical terms is because he expressed his intent in categorical terms –

Andrew: The audacity to feel good all the time, come what may!!!

Nice. Very nice indeed. Now that’s something I can channel my subversive tendency towards!

Andrew: So I hereby give myself permission to feel good, happy & harmless, in all circumstances, come what may.
Over-riding all socially prescribed appropriate moods, reactions, and expectations.

An executive order, unilaterally executed, with no power of veto granted to any party, circumstance, or condition.

Rain, hail or shine, in sickness and in health, forsaking all other directives, missives, constitutions, allotments, franchises, contracts, agreements, treaties, implied or otherwise. [Emphases added].

I emphasized the categorical aspects in Andrew’s permission to himself, so you might better understand my reply. As Claudiu pointed out already, the social conditioning (conscience) is largely in place to curb the excesses of the genetically endowed instinctual passions from running amok. One does indeed need at least the intent to be both happy and harmless, i.e. feeling good and being considerate towards one’s fellow human beings to make the actualism method work and to whittle away any and all emotion, belief, principle, worldview and so on, which stand in the way of being happy and harmless.

JOSEF: I think (correct me if I’m wrong) you’re trying to highlight the harmless part of the equation. That being happy without being harmless can come with causing harm to others for the sake of your own happiness?

VINEETO: Yes, you are correct. In the beginning one’s attempt to feel good and be happy can be misconstrued as licentiousness and self-indulgence. If one only has the aim to just feel a little better whilst staying firmly ensconced in the human condition, the large variety of self-help books and consultants would be sufficient.

JOSEF: Even if pure intent was not present, the prescription of feeling good come what may could lift the majority of the population out of the seriousness and despair that plagues the real world.

VINEETO: “The prescription of feeling good come what may” is an invitation to utterly disregard everyone else but ‘me’, the passionate identity, to follow their instincts of fear, aggression, nurture and desire. How does this “prescription” “lift the majority of the population out of the seriousness and despair”? “The prescription of feeling good come what may” is more accurately described as the law of the jungle where not no socialisation is curbing the basic instinctual survival passions.

I am not saying that this is what you had in mind when you wrote what you did, but it is nevertheless vital to carefully think through your prescription and consider the consequences of what you are proposing for “the majority of the population”.

Here is the third alternative to being selfishly following feeling good regardless and living in “seriousness and despair” as you put it –

Richard: The actualism method (‘how am I experiencing this moment of being alive’) is a method specifically designed to bring about a direct experience of the actual ... the question is asked, each moment again, until it becomes an automatic approach to life or a wordless attitude to living. Initially it will be seen that how one is experiencing this moment is usually via a feeling or a belief (sometimes cunningly disguised as a ‘truth’) – and a belief is an emotion-backed thought anyway – thus effectively blocking the ‘direct sense experience’. And for as long as one is experiencing this moment through a feeling – no matter how deep or profound the feeling may be – one is cutting oneself off from the splendour of the actual.

There is an unimaginable and inconceivable purity right here at this place in infinite space just now at this moment in eternal time which far exceeds the most deepest, the most profound feeling of beauty (or love) – the actual is magnificent beyond ‘my’ wildest dreams and schemes – and this moment and this place is an ever-present ‘jumping-in’ point, as it were ... however it does mean the end of ‘me’ at the core of ‘my’ being (which is ‘being’ itself).

This is because ‘I’ am ‘my’ feelings and ‘my’ feelings’ are ‘me’. [Emphases added]. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 27a, 15 January 2002)

And –

Richard: When one minimises the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ feelings (through running the question ‘how am I experiencing this moment of being alive’) the affective energy is thus freed-up to power the felicitous/ innocuous feelings (happiness, delight, joie de vivre/ bonhomie, friendliness, amiability and so on) which, in conjunction with sensuousness (delectation, enjoyment, appreciation, relish, zest, gusto and so on), can ensue as a sense of amazement, marvel and wonder ... which can, in turn, result in apperceptiveness. [Emphasis added]. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 27a, 18 May 2002)

As you can see, Richard starts with the intent “to bring about a direct experience of the actual” by imitating the actual. The overarching intent is to experience life free from the dominance of the ‘I’/ ‘me’ as much and as often as possible. This is achieved by applying the actualism method: “one minimises the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ feelings”.

If one only has the aim to just feel a little better whilst staying firmly ensconced in the human condition, the large variety of self-help books and consultants would be sufficient.

And this explained what to do in detail –

RESPONDENT: Are you talking about not ‘taking out’ our emotions on others?

RICHARD: Yes, but not only on ‘others’ ... taking it out upon oneself happens all too often (children are taught to castigate and/or commiserate themselves so as to inculcate a conscience).

RESPONDENT: Not releasing emotion through the body somehow?

RICHARD: Yes ... not having it pump chemicals through the body irregardless whether someone else is present or not.

RESPONDENT: Also specifically which emotions are advantageous to ‘not express’?

RICHARD: All and any emotion ... I oft-times would say to people twenty one years ago when I first put this into practice was that emotions are life’s way of reminding oneself that one has gone astray (that one has wandered off the wide and wondrous path to an actual freedom from the human condition).

An emotion is like a warning buzzer ... or a flashing red light.

RESPONDENT: Can this be done in one fell swoop – or would it be done by ‘whittling’ away emotion?

RICHARD: Whittling. It took me about six weeks, as far as I can remember, to whittle away the obvious or major emotions ... the less obvious or minor ones took far longer. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 27a, 24 January 2002)

Does this make it more clear for you?

Cheers Vineeto

March 30 2025

CLAUDIU: If Andrew goes ahead with his unilateral command to effectively do whatever he (self-centrically) wants without regards to any consequences and without the capacity for anybody else to do anything whatsoever to change his mind about any of it, without pure intent in place… the effect will most likely be for that “wayward self” to … go wayward.

JOSEF: I don’t think that’s what he said at all. He said he would give himself permission to feel good, happy & harmless unilaterally. I don’t see any mention of doing whatever he wants (self-centrically) without consideration for anyone else.

And even in practice, I have found that the actualism feeling good (not good feelings), is so blithesome and benign in its nature that it is always accompanied by harmlessness. If it’s not, usually there is some good feeling (like greed, or power, or pride) that is tainting the feeling good.

VINEETO: Hi Josef,

I am pleased to read you know by experience that “the actualism feeling good” needs to include being harmless in order to be untainted by “greed, or power, or pride”. Perhaps you simply assumed that Andrew would experience it the same way? In fact, this is what feeling being Vineeto expressed as well –

‘VINEETO’: The reason I said that there is a remarkable difference between *feeling* harmless and actually being harmless is because it is easy to assess one’s happiness by checking if I am feeling happy whereas many people may feel themselves to be harmless when they are not experiencing feelings of aggression or anger against somebody. Yet they are nevertheless causing harm via their thoughtless ‘self’-oriented instinctual feelings and actions, something that all human beings are prone to do unless they become fully aware of their instinctual passions *before* these translate into vibes and/or actions.

It was about a year into my process of actualism when I became aware of how much my outlook on the world and on people had changed in that my cloak of myopic ‘self’-centredness began to lift and I no longer saw the world only ‘my’ way and my judgments and actions no longer revolved around ‘my’ interests, ‘my’ beliefs, ‘my’ ideas, ‘my’ ideals, ‘my’ fears, ‘my’ desires and ‘my’ aversions. Consequently I have learnt to judge harmlessness by the amount of parity and consideration I apply to others whom I come in contact with, both at work and at play, and not by merely feeling myself to be harmless.

TARIN: Can you say more about this? I usually feel harmless but have been thinking lately that I somehow still do harm simply by not paying attention and applying parity and consideration to others with whom I come into contact. How did you do this more and more? And how did you notice that you’re still harming someone even if you don’t have feelings of anger or aggression or the like? And how do you know it’s you harming them? Can you give a few examples? I’m finding it possible to consider this matter more now that I’m happier as its given me breathing room to be less self-centred, but it’s a pretty new subject to me. What keeps your mind on being considerate? Is it just a close scrutiny on the feelings and passions that arise? Are you more perceptive of others because the feelings and passions that are now arising are diminished so you’re naturally more attentive to other things as well, like what’s going on with other people?

‘VINEETO’: Sure. When I met Peter I was full of good intentions to make our living together work, i.e. to be as happy and peaceful as possible, but I had continuous clashes of opinion with him, frustrations of foiled expectation, hurt feelings and revenge of hurtful remarks. I realized that in order to be able live with Peter in peace and harmony I had to sort out a lot – my beliefs, my ‘truths’, my loyalties, my gender ideas, my problems with authority and all other sorts of feelings.

I remember well the first evening when I looked at Peter and saw him as just another human being – not as a partner, a mate, a member of the other gender, a lover, a sexual object, a valuable addition to my circle of friends, and not as someone who would approve or disapprove of me – simple another fellow human being. Suddenly the separation I felt was gone and there was a delicious intimacy, as ‘I’ was no longer attempting to force him to fit into ‘my’ world.

I was astounded and shocked by this experience, being outside of my so familiar ‘self’-centred and ‘self-oriented skin, because I realized that never before, not once in our 3-months acquaintance, had I been able, or even interested, to see him as a person in his own right. I was shocked at how all of my perception and consequently all of my interactions were driven by what *I* wanted, what *I* expected and what *I* believed him to be and how much I was therefore constantly at odds with how he actually was. From then on I paid as much attention as possible to become aware of situations when my feelings, beliefs, expectations and general attitude were standing in the way of recognizing another person, first Peter and later anyone I came in contact with, as equal fellow human beings, as persons in their own right, who live their own life, follow their own goals and aspirations, have their own preferences and tastes, and also, have their own set of morals, ethics and beliefs.

The reason I am telling this story is because this experience was the beginning of a slow and wide-ranging realization that as long as I live in ‘my’ world – made up of ‘my’ worldview, ‘my’ beliefs, opinions, feelings and survival passions – I cannot help but struggle to fit everyone into ‘my’ world, as actors on the stage of ‘my’ play, so to speak, as family and aliens, as friends and enemies, as ‘good people and ‘bad’ people. And not only am ‘I’ busy trying to do this, everyone else – all six billion of us – are equally struggling to fit everyone into ‘their’ world.

It then comes as no surprise that being actually harmless is out of the question – until ‘I’ more and more leave centre-stage, stop resenting being here, stop being stressed, take myself less seriously, take notice of other people the way they are and start enjoying life. (Actualism, Vineeto, Selected Correspondence, Harmless).

CLAUDIU: Pure intent will ensure that sensibility will prevail (…)

JOSEF: Again, the feeling good come what may that I’ve been having success with recently has a lack of malice as a quality, so consideration for others is also a part of it.

CLAUDIU: I don’t think this is really a very high bar, (…)

JOSEF: This is why I called it gatekeeping.

VINEETO: Knowing the human condition as well as I do (having experienced as a feeling being the full extent of ‘I’ am humanity and humanity is ‘me’) I am much more careful to make a-priory assumptions.

As is now the second time that you used the word “gatekeeping” I wonder if there is perhaps an emotional issue/ investment for you such as frustration that you have trouble to experience a PCE or a resentment against authority? So that this post doesn’t get too long, I simply refer you to a link, if you discover that this is the case. (Actualism, ActualVineeto, Basic to Full Freedom, #Authority).

You have stated yourself you discovered that to be genuinely feeling good requires “a lack of malice as a quality, so consideration for others is also a part of it”. This is excellent. It seems to me that a sincere intent is operating for you in regards of enjoyment and appreciation. Richard’s warning (and mine), what you call “gatekeeping”, is specifically designed regarding the inculcated rules of society which curb the excess of the instinctual passions, i.e. the “wayward self”.

In the absence of the experience of the overarching stream of benignity and benevolence originating – not in ‘your’ fears and desires but outside the human condition – in the vast and utter stillness of the universe, the socialized conscience and principles of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ cannot be safely whittled away – you would harm both yourself and others following only ‘your’ self-centric guide.

JOSEF: I don’t have pure intent if the strict definition is that is has to be born of a PCE. I don’t have a good memory of a PCE. But I do have the intent that I don’t ever want to feel miserable again. That I want to be in a good mood each and every moment again. I’ve seen how beneficial it is for myself and others when I am feeling good. But should I not start on this path unless I meet the strict definition of having pure intent?

VINEETO: Here is what you wrote in October 2022 as the first entry of your journal –

Josef: I had what I think is a PCE yesterday while on a high dosage edible. I was just sitting on the couch, and suddenly the inside of my house began to look completely different. It was as if I was seeing everything for the first time again. There was very little affect, and I noticed that while I could think, the thoughts were disjointed from “me”. There was a very high level of sensuous appreciation. But the key aspect for me was time. Past and future were completely gone and it felt like I could stay in this moment forever. That there was nothing else. Again, very very little affect, but I’m reluctant to say a complete absence because I was also pretty intoxicated and hence a little confused.

It was a new way of experiencing entirely, and it was very pure and I would say close to perfect. It was the same world but like a different one within that same one. Like a veneer being pulled back.

Does this experience perhaps give you a clue why you are able to recognize that genuinely feeling good requires “a lack of malice as a quality”, and “consideration for others”?

It is the source of your intent which defines the quality of ‘feeling good’ and informs you which one is genuine and which one is dictated by the “wayward self”. As long as you pay attention to this qualitative difference of your intent and rememorate the distinct flavour of this “new way of experiencing” you had during the PCE excellent experience, you are precisely acting according to Richard’s warning.

Cheers Vineeto

April 4 2025

VINEETO: As is now the second time that you used the word “gatekeeping” I wonder if there is perhaps an emotional issue/ investment for you such as frustration that you have trouble to experience a PCE or a resentment against authority? So that this post doesn’t get too long, I simply refer you to a link, if you discover that this is the case. (Actualism, Actualvineeto, Basic to Full Freedom, #Authority).

JOSEF: Yes, I am frustrated that I haven’t been able to have a PCE after the one you linked later on in the post. This was a drug-induced PCE, so for me it doesn’t feel “solid” or “clean” and I seriously doubt its veracity.

VINEETO: Hi Josef,

I appreciate your reply.

The feeling of frustration falls in the category of resentment, and anger, and is certainly interfering with feeling good. I perfectly understand from ‘Vineeto’s’ experience how it feels and why it is happening but it is nevertheless an emotional occurrence that is advisable to not only to look at but to do away with altogether (resentment against, or blaming anything or anyone (including yourself) for apparently standing in the way of what ‘you’ want).

Richard: What I have observed over many years is that a normal person has a propensity to blame – to find fault rather than to find causes – when it comes to dealing with the human condition ... if for no other reason than that finding the cause means the end of ‘me’ (or the beginning of the end of ‘me’).

Whereas endlessly repeating mea culpa keeps ‘me’ in existence. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 27c, 9 September 2002).

You see, when you understand resentment this way, as a complaint/ blame to divert attention from ‘you’ (the only person you can change), then it may be easier to see that it is silly to maintain this automatic reaction/ habit. Focussing the attention to where it belongs, the fact of being resentment, at the time of experiencing it, the very attention allows you to be felicitous instead (it’s often not even a decision but a natural consequence, just as you stop wiggling your toes the moment you become aware of it).

Then, feeling good, you can check what is behind or underneath the frustration – perhaps impatience, or perhaps the conviction it’s your right to have a PCE now because …, or any other ‘self’-generated belief, attitude or principle. And it could be this very resentment standing in the way of allowing a PCE to happen. (see also (Sundry, FAQ, How do I Induce a PCE?). and (Richard, Abditorium, Delight, #Delightment).

*

VINEETO: Does this experience perhaps give you a clue why you are able to recognize that genuinely feeling good requires “a lack of malice as a quality”, and “consideration for others”?
It is the source of your intent which defines the quality of ‘feeling good’ and informs you which one is genuine and which one is dictated by the “wayward self”. As long as you pay attention to this qualitative difference of your intent and rememorate the distinct flavour of this “new way of experiencing” you had during the PCE, you are precisely acting according to Richard’s warning.

JOSEF: I am able to recognize feeling good, but it’s not from that PCE. I would say it’s from the few EEs and numerous times I’ve felt good/great. I wonder if this is enough?

VINEETO: It’s good to hear that you had a few excellence experiences which inform you of what is possible and the direction which you are aiming at. There were also enough clues in your description of “that PCE” to indicate that it was genuine – such as “it was as if I was seeing everything for the first time again” and “there was a very high level of sensuous appreciation. But the key aspect for me was time. Past and future were completely gone and it felt like I could stay in this moment forever.” And specifically this one: “It was a new way of experiencing entirely, and it was very pure and I would say close to perfect. It was the same world but like a different one within that same one. Like a veneer being pulled back.”

It could be that when you say today, almost three years after the PCE, that “it doesn’t feel ”solid“ or ”clean“ and I seriously doubt its veracity”, this interpretation may well be from ‘me’ having taken over full control again over your memory of the PCE.

So, if you are able to re-vivify the flavour of this experience it might help you to more reliably and puissantly connect to pure intent. In the meantime you can rely on the memory of your EEs – but second best is never “enough” when you aim for perfection, isn’t it?

Claudiu and myself have updated the Library page on Pure Intent with more specific details that you might find informative.

Cheers Vineeto

April 5 2025

VINEETO: You see, when you understand resentment this way, as a complaint/ blame to divert attention from ‘you’ (the only person you can change), then it may be easier to see that it is silly to maintain this automatic reaction/ habit. Focussing the attention to where it belongs, the fact of being resentment, at the time of experiencing it, the very attention allows you to be felicitous instead (it’s often not even a decision but a natural consequence, just as you stop wiggling your toes the moment you become aware of it).

Then, feeling good, you can check what is behind or underneath the frustration – perhaps impatience, or perhaps the conviction it’s your right to have a PCE now because …, or any other ‘self’-generated belief, attitude or principle. And it could be this very resentment standing in the way of allowing a PCE to happen. (see also (Sundry, FAQ, How do I Induce a PCE?) and (Richard, Abditorium, Delight, #Delightment).

JOSEF: Yes, I am starting to focus on this resentment and tackle it. It’s not just about this PCE, but I can see that my general approach to life is also filled with resentment. I’m mired in a world of “shoulds”; things that I have to do rather want to do. I view work like this, as well as most things besides anything that has quick gratification (e.g. playing video games, eating delicious food).

VINEETO: Hi Josef,

This is a great description of resentment if there ever was. However, you cannot ‘get rid’ of resentment by rejection of having one emotion and choose having another like changing black chess-pieces with white ones.

Now that you acknowledged that you experience resentment, the first thing is to stop fighting it and stop blaming yourself as well. Any battle against yourself only fuels the feelings by increasing the power of ‘you’ to make you feel bad. Personally, feeling being ‘Vineeto’ found that the moment she stopped fighting the feeling (i.e. by objecting to it), it instantly diminished. Then you can more easily get back to feeling good and from this vantage point contemplate for instance what Claudiu wrote to you and what other habitual attitudes will be worth paying attention to, so that this resentment is no longer dominating your mood/ your life. Doing this, each time you notice resentment creeping in, you have a much better chance of enjoying what you are doing (yes, even working for sustaining yourself) and appreciating this moment of being alive. It also helps to put everything on a preference basis –

Richard: I did everything possible that ‘I’ could do to blatantly imitate the actual in that ‘I’ endeavoured to be happy and harmless for as much as is humanly possible. This was achieved by putting everything on a ‘it doesn’t really matter’ basis. That is, ‘I’ would prefer people, things and events to be a particular way, but if it did not turn out like that ... it did not really matter for it was only a preference. ‘I’ chose to no longer give other people – or the weather – the power to make ‘me’ angry ... or even irritated ... or even peeved. (Richard, List B, No. 12a, 16 July 1998)

JOSEF: Seems like I’m being dragged around by my life rather directing it. I desire the opposite. I want to be here, to enjoy living in this moment. But it’s clear to me that that is not what I am being at all. Even the specifics of my life don’t seem to matter much, as this attitude is all encompassing and will use anything undesirable as an excuse to fuel the resentment of being alive.

VINEETO: You say you are being “dragged around by my life” when in fact you are dragged around by your feelings (like most people are). The difference to most people is that you have the opportunity to pay diligent attention to whichever feelings prevent you from feeling good, from being happy and harmless, and this very attention and awareness of being the feeling allows you to choose to being a different affective experience. It is important not to keep your undesired feelings at arms length but to acknowledge that this is who you are as a feeling being. This very awareness that you are your feelings allows you to choose to be the felicitous feelings instead.

When you say I don’t want to be resentful – “I desire the opposite. I want to be here, to enjoy living in this moment” you are misunderstanding what being happy and enjoying living means. Being (unconditionally) happy is what happens when there are no obstacles in the way for being happy. Just watch young children. They are happy and full of energy – unless something is amiss. As soon as parents fix/ provide what is amiss (change diapers, provide food, plaster on the scratched knee, etc.) their good mood returns. You can do the same – pay attention to what you experience affectively and then decline/ dissolve the obstacles to feeling good and feeling good returns. Then you take note of the trigger which brought up the obstacle in the first place and sort it out, so it won’t interfere with your feeling good at the next occasion.

JOSEF: Seeing all of this has been a breath of fresh air and has lifted my cynicism a little, even though I have only scratched the surface. I’m not sure when it became like this, as I was quite a happy kid. But between job responsibilities (I view work as something I am forced to do; I resent working to live), I somehow became a real downer. The sun is shining again.

VINEETO: This breath of fresh air is excellent – so you are looking in the right direction. Happy kids become serious adults and have to re-discover their joy of life and naiveté again. Investigate your cynicism and your victim/ entitlement mentality that someone else owes you a living (“I resent working to live”) and see how ultimately silly and self-destructive it is.

Become “a happy kid” again with adult sensibilities.

*

VINEETO: It could be that when you say today, almost three years after the PCE, that “it doesn’t feel ”solid“ or ”clean“ and I seriously doubt its veracity”, this interpretation may well be from ‘me’ having taken over full control again over your memory of the PCE.

JOSEF: I was thinking about this, and there may be some truth to it. When I rememorate the EE, there’s something to latch onto, namely those felicitous and innocuous feelings which are still affective. But when I think of the PCE, there’s nothing because I was so minimized. I don’t even know how to remember it, so I guess in my cynicism I resolved that it’s best to not even try.
I will try and rememorate the PCE.

VINEETO: This cynicism seems to permeate many areas of your life – it will be a big change for the better when you pay close attention to it. It may have been the single-most deciding factor that no PCEs have happened for a while. Cynicism is the very antithesis of naiveté.

I wish you best of success in rediscovering your naiveté.

Cheers Vineeto

November 25 2025

JOSEF: I’m back! It’s been over half a year since I last posted, but I’ve still been on the forums and on AFT reading a lot. There’s been quite a few big changes in my life recently, namely that I am living with my partner now. This has bolstered my motivation even further as I can see the effect that my bad moods, or just being a ‘self’ in general has on her. Right now my focus is on applying the method, enjoying and appreciating no matter what is going on in my life. I have realized recently that I have not been applying the method correctly at all. Whenever I would have an uncomfortable feeling, I would immediately begin to investigate it, often getting frustrated and lost in the mazes of my mind as feeling good “failed to show up”. Some kind of weird dissociation. I guess I wasn’t even willing to feel these uncomfortable feelings, as I had to be successful in applying the method ASAP.

VINEETO: Hi Josef,

Welcome back.

It is excellent that you gain additional awareness of your moods and how ‘you’ tick, and with it motivation to change, by living with your partner now. It brings it out into the open how both the felicitous/ innocuous feelings and the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ feelings have a beneficial/ detrimental effect not only on yourself but on the other person as well.

In the process you also discovered that you automatically dissociated/ disassociated from the “uncomfortable feelings” which opened a whole new area of “applying the method”.

JOSEF: To rectify this, I am being more patient when I feel bad, trying to really see what’s going on. And then once I’ve got a good handle on what I’m feeling (and any investigation happens simultaneously when I’m not pushing feelings away, since I get curious), I can “choose” to feel good. More accurately, it dawns on me that it’s silly to feel bad in this situation when I can feel good instead. But I cannot force this seeing.

VINEETO: Remember to get back to feeling good once you come across one of those “uncomfortable feelings” before you endeavour to investigate them. Often they are merely bad habits and easy to nip in the bud, but sometimes, when they return again, they need further exploration, like when you “cannot force this seeing”. Then there might be a dearly held belief or a personal truth or a cherished desire which keeps it in place.

The more you get “a good handle” on it and appreciate your success the very exploration becomes increasingly fun.

Cheers Vineeto

November 28 2025

VINEETO: Remember to get back to feeling good once you come across one of those “uncomfortable feelings” before you endeavour to investigate them. Often they are merely bad habits and easy to nip in the bud, but sometimes, when they return again, they need further exploration, like when you “cannot force this seeing”. Then there might be a dearly held belief or a personal truth or a cherished desire which keeps it in place.

JOSEF: This is very true in my experience. For me personally, getting back to feeling at least neutral happens by stop trying to force feeling good. This may just be my own tendency, but I redouble my efforts and try extra hard to push bad feelings away, often by “investigation” (this kind of investigation is just an attempt at suppression). Real, organic investigation happens when there’s no pressure and one is curious.

VINEETO: Hi Josef,

What you experience in those instances of trying to force feeling good is the increasing affective power of ‘me’ whenever you add energy by fighting unpleasant feelings, such as pushing them away, or trying to force good feelings by what you call “this kind of investigation”. Such action will only increase the intensity of your affective feelings. As you correctly observed, “organic investigation happens when there’s no pressure and one is curious”. Hence Richard’s suggestion that whenever your mood dips below feeling good, notice what it was that triggered the diminishing of feeling good and then get back to feeling good before endeavouring to sort out the obstacle in question.

Richard: What the identity inhabiting this flesh and blood body all those years ago would do is first get back to feeling good and then, and only then, suss out where, when, how, why – and what for – feeling bad happened as experience had shown ‘him’ that it was counter-productive to do otherwise.

What ‘he’ always did however, as it was often tempting to just get on with life then, was to examine what it was all about within half-an-hour of getting back to feeling good (while the memory was still fresh) even if it meant sometimes falling back into feeling bad by doing so ... else it would crop up again sooner or later.

Nothing, but nothing, can be swept under the carpet. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 68c, 31 May 2005).

JOSEF: I’ve put things on a “does not matter” basis recently. This has been quite difficult for me to do, and I have realized I am quite a domineering personality, wanting to always have my preferences met. Going along with others’ preferences recently has triggered this fear in me of being taken advantage of or being a doormat for other people’s whims. But yesterday when I tried this, honestly everything turned out fine and I had a great time. I felt light and happy and harmless. It seems my pushing of my preferences is driven by this fear. Most of the things that happen do not really matter…

VINEETO: It’s great that you tried it out experientially, because events always turn out differently with sincere intent operating than theoretically or philosophically anticipated. This tool of putting everything on a “does not matter” basis also applies to weather, or situations beyond your control and whatever else happens in your daily life. “Pushing of my preferences” may partly be driven by its opposite, “this fear”, and it is also part and parcel of an identity’s inherent self-centricity, i.e. seeing everybody and every event and every thing merely from ‘my’ point of view/ my benefit or loss. When you become increasingly aware of this automatically operating self-centricity /ego-centricity and how it interferes with felicity/ innocuity, then putting everything on an ‘it doesn’t really matter basis’ makes even more sense.

JOSEF: And for the things that do, I take a stand only if what’s happening is falling outside the realm of being sensible. This kind of action comes from a very different and more grounded place.

VINEETO: You may find this recent post interesting in this context –

KUBA: I never thought to question assertiveness, in fact I even remember as a kid in school being taught how it is so very important…

Also to tie it into Richard’s quote about preference, if I am asserting myself it means that I have already made it serious, which means it is no longer a self-less inclination, it is now a self-centred urge. This is exactly how I have observed conversations turn into arguments too.

VINEETO: Yes, you will be surprised how much effect it has on your whole outlook in life when you deliberately and consistently replace any self-centred urge which occurs with what is to happen as just being a preference. This quote from Richard might give you encouragement – (Actualism, Actualvineeto, Kuba10, 2 October 2025a).

Richard: An anecdote might best illustrate what I mean: many years ago my then-companion Devika would oft-times say to me that I should stand up for myself and not let peoples (such as you describe) push me around ... indeed, it was one of the reasons she created a psychic force-field in her psyche (which is, of course, the human psyche) so as to protect what she saw, experientially, back then as innocence personified.

(She was wont to exclaim, on occasion, how ‘Richard brings something marvellous – something absolutely wonderful – into the world and yet everyone deposits ordure on it’ ... albeit not expressed quite so politely as that).

What she did not realise – except during a PCE of course – is that innocence itself (the genuine article and not the so-called innocence of children) requires no affective vibe/ psychic current protection whatsoever and, therefore, in vain would I explain to her that, in everyday situations such as you report (where the whole point of the exercise is to walk out the door with the goodies which those in a position of power and control can either dispense or withhold), I had no interest whatsoever in futilely striving to win a puny ego-battle with some officious power-tripper but, instead, walk away with the said goodies each time. (Richard, List D, No. 32, 7 July 2013).

Richard: … the counsel I consistently offered to Devika – vis-à-vis her insistence on ‘standing up for oneself’ to all and sundry – came from feeling-being ‘Richard’ (i.e., from ‘his’ success) and not from this flesh-and-blood body typing these words. (Richard, List D, Syd2, 14 January 2016).

The key ingredient, apart from aiming to be felicitous/ innocuous it to sensibly, i.e. when necessary, emotionally accept what is intellectually unacceptable so as to not compromise one’s intelligence.

James: ... My question is: Can I accept the unacceptable? (…)

Richard: Given that people are as-they-are and that the world is as-it-is there are more than a few things which are ‘unacceptable’ (child abuse, rape, murder, torture and so on). What worked for me twenty-odd years ago, as a preliminary step, was to rephrase the question so that it makes sense (rather than vainly apply any of those unliveable ‘unconditional acceptance’ type injunctions):

• Can I emotionally accept that which is intellectually unacceptable?

This way intelligence need not be compromised ... intelligence will no longer be crippled. (Richard, List B, James2, 18 August 2001).

Cheers Vineeto

November 30, 2025

JOSEF: I had a PCE last night while on a high dose of cannabis that made me realize that actualism is much more radical than I first thought. When my “self” went into abeyance, I could feel infinite time and infinite space as I stood there in my house. Time also had no meaning. I could “access” the memories of my “self”, as weird as that sounds. But it was like thinking about a different person’s life.

It made me think that if “I” die (self-immolate), this body won’t pursue any of the goals that “I” hold dear. It seems all “my” values are based on what “I” hold dear. Fretting over money or my relationship with my wife or whatever else had zero meaning. In Geoffrey’s video, when he says he’s poor and doesn’t give a shit, and then talks about security for the body as being food, water, shelter, I realized that a person who would be happy sitting in a garden for 20 years and dying would not be malicious or sorrowful for ANY reason. Even if they became quadriplegic (one of my worst nightmares), they would still be happy and harmless. This means that NOTHING at all matters.

I think that is why the method says to put everything on a does not matter basis or get back to feeling good no matter what. If that’s true I’ve not been applying the method at all. I have just been sticking a toe into the water while keeping my whole value system intact. It occurred to me, is the method kind of suicidal? But isn’t that not the whole point? Self-immolation is psychological suicide?

RICHARD: No … my solution is ‘self’-immolation – psychological and psychic suicide – and not what you are making it out to be (I follow the entirely sensible convention of using smart quotes when referring to the entity who has taken up a parasitical residence in the flesh and blood body). (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 29, 26 February 2002).

VINEETO: Hi Josef,

What a great PCE with so much more information for you and insights about what an actual freedom is.

It is an excellent plan to put everything “on a does not matter basis or get back to feeling good no matter what” because nothing matters in the long run. This is a pivotal decision regarding imitating the actual which you have just experienced.

Richard: I did everything I could to be as happy and harmless (as free of sorrow and malice) for as much as is humanly possible. This was achieved by first putting everything on a does-not-really-matter-in-the-long-run basis. That is, I would prefer people, things and events to be a particular way, but, if it did not turn out like that, it did not really matter for it was only a preference. I chose to no longer give other people – or the weather even – the power to have me annoyed, irritated, irked, or even peeved, if this was possible.

Then, as it was patently obvious in those experiences of pristine purity how this very moment of being alive is the only moment of ever actually being alive, I began to treat each moment again as precious. After all, it is not as if we have an unlimited amount of moments and – unlike a bank account which can be replenished – our supply of such moments is our most valuable (albeit dwindling) asset. In practical terms this meant being aware of how each precious moment was being experienced; if feeling good (felicity and innocuity) was the prevailing experience then this attentiveness ensured enjoyment and appreciation, of the sheer fact of being alive, each moment again; if feeling bad (unhappy and harmful) was the prevailing experience then whatever had displaced feeling good became readily apparent, upon such attention, with so much at stake. (Out-from-Control Reports, Richard).

JOSEF: This leads me to a more worrying thought. Will I just go along with whatever the people around me want, as long as it doesn’t cause a threat to this physical body? What if my partner really wants something that I don’t? Does it not matter and I will just change my self-centered urge to a preference for everything?

VINEETO: This appears to be the moment the PCE ended else you would not have had a “more worrying thought”.

JOSEF: I guess this is where silly/ sensible comes into the equation. But during the PCE I felt like silly/ sensible only applied to the preservation of the physical body. Honestly I was not ready for the experience at all and I could not go further, it felt like I would blow all my fuses or that I was not ready to make this a permanent condition. Felt like I skipped ahead and should have a PCE organically, without the use of drugs. At that point the PCE was over and the fear began.

VINEETO: Yes, this “is where silly/ sensible comes into the equation” and it does not only apply to purely physical survival, as you can understand when you are back to feeling good (Richard, Audio-taped Dialogues, Silly or Sensible). Have you heard of a win-win situation?

Here is something that might help regarding the assessment of preference –

Richard: A general rule of thumb is: if it is a preference it is a self-less inclination; if it is an urge it is a self-centred desire. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, 25d, 14 January 2004)

The above correspondence from the beginning explains it in more detail.

It is understandable when you say “I was not ready for the experience at all” – it may take some gestation period to percolate in the background for you to digest it all. But you have tasted the perfection and purity and experienced what is possible.

JOSEF: I always thought I would apply the actualism method and become more and more happy and harmless in my relationship. This was kind of the end goal. But in yesterday’s PCE it became clear to me that I could only act in my partner and I’s best interest if there is no relationship at all. The relationship is just another part of “me” with all of its problems. During the experience I was considering “my” parents, partner, brother, friends etc. But it just felt like “his” (“my”) life with his emotional hang ups. “My” home (with all “my” ideas about home) became just the place I’m living in right now.

VINEETO: Ha, I can understand this very well. Living in peace and harmony with Peter was also ‘Vineeto’s’ entry point. Here is what ‘she’ reported –

‘Vineeto’: I am reminded of the time when my questioning was particularly pressing. I had been with Peter for a couple of months and in that time it became obvious that if I wanted to live with him in peace and harmony, I had to change, not only superficially but radically. I experienced that we could easily agree on facts – for instance the sensuous facts that sex is fun or which restaurant in town had the best coffee and lunch. We also had no problems agreeing on obvious empirical facts that could easily be verified. But as soon as it came to beliefs, opinions and feelings we often arrived at a loggerhead situation.

In particular I discovered that my beliefs in Eastern religion were increasingly impossible to reconcile with facts that emerged from reading Richard’s accounts of his discoveries, from mutual discussions I was having with Peter and from my own inquiries, yet my belonging to the Sannyas community made this investigation rather scary. For a few weeks we avoided talking ‘about the war’ but soon that was not good enough for me – living in harmony with Peter was at the very top of my laundry list and I was unwilling to settle for the normal relationship, where what passed for harmony was only sustained by constantly monitoring a ceasefire and constantly avoiding each other’s no-fly zones. For that very reason I needed to find out the facts and I had to dig deeper into the ideas, beliefs and truth that I had taken on board and that I felt so touchy and defensive about. To merely change one belief for another was not an option.

The need to find out as a certainty became so pressing that I began to ask more and more specific and sometimes very disturbing questions, so much so that one day I was distracted while driving and had a minor car accident. The following evening a crack in my beliefs became readily apparent, which resulted in my first major PCE. (Actualism, Vineeto, Actual Freedom List, No. 37c, 20.7.2003).

Don’t you find it amazing (worth appreciating) that you start with one worthwhile goal – to live with your partner in peace and harmony – and the more you explore to make it work, the more you discover what this all involves?

Now that you know with certainty, from the PCE, that ‘I’/ ‘me’ am the problem, you slowly dismantle whenever ‘I’ and ‘my’ demands, desires, objections, beliefs, etc. get in the way of being happy and harmless and enjoying/ appreciating being here. It’s not complex because it is only ‘me’, in ‘my’ variations, which is the problem. With your preference for a “self-less inclination” you have a clear compass where you want to go.

Two hints to make it easier – always get back to feeling good before investigating an obstacle, and remember to be a friend to yourself.

Cheers Vineeto

December 1 2025

JOSEF: Just getting some thoughts down as they are occurring. It is making me sad that achieving everything I have ever wanted – peace, total carefreeness, unconditional happiness – will mean my demise. I will not be there to experience it.

Actualism was supposed to be the way “I” became the best version of myself. But “I” am the problem, “I” am in the way.

VINEETO: Hi Josef,

You are not quite correct to say it “will mean my demise”. You already figured this out when you quoted Richard in your last post that it will mean the demise of ‘me’, the identity having hijacked the flesh-and-blood body Josef.

Richard: No … my solution is ‘self’-immolation – psychological and psychic suicide – and not what you are making it out to be (I follow the entirely sensible convention of using smart quotes when referring to the entity who has taken up a parasitical residence in the flesh and blood body). [Emphasis added]. (Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 29, 26 February 2002).

You experienced in the PCE that it is not only possible but far, far better to live without identity – even though you said you were “not ready for the experience at all”. Let the dust settle and digest it all before allowing yourself to become said over something that you can in fact rejoice about. Then you will see that it is still as sensible way to proceed becoming “best version of myself” by diminish the ‘self’ in the meantime, until you are fully ready to abandon your ‘self’ altogether.

Yes, the identity, of no fault of your own, is “the problem”, it has now become redundant because intelligence can take the place of the instinctual passions, which were necessary for the survival of early humans. You took up the actualism method in order to live in peace and harmony with your partner – which means you understood that the identity as it was could not do that.

And now, in nostalgic reminiscence about the ‘good old identity’, which only causes you trouble, you are “sad” that you may want to diminish it, even intending ‘your’ demise in order to “achieving everything I have ever wanted”.

This is not sensible.

When you get back to feeling good you will see that for yourself.

Richard: None of this mess is ‘my’ fault ... ‘I’ was born like this. Now that ‘I’ realise this ‘I’ can willingly, cheerfully be in concordance. (...) ‘I’ can never, ever become perfect or be perfection. The only thing ‘I’ can do – the only thing ‘I’ need to do – is to say !YES! so that the already always existing perfection can become apparent. (Richard, List B, 25f, 22 June 2000).

Whilst I understand your shock and being overwhelmed by the implications of the experience you were “not ready for” – but then one is never ready for an experience outside of one’s normal parameters – why not instead appreciate and enjoy what has happened instead of filling the gap with the usual fearful and sorrowful feelings?

Just a suggestion.

Cheers Vineeto

December 2 2025

JOSEF: Thanks Vineeto, I’m going through many different feelings and thoughts at the moment while digesting this experience. Going to wait till the dust settles before I write more.

VINEETO: Hi Josef,

Such ups and downs are natural after a potentially life-changing experience, especially as you already identified the next step – to put everything on a preference basis. For encouragement here is a short experiential report from AdamH how he succeeded in getting back to feeling good –

AdamH: Just took a little down then back up journey, reflecting now on just how masterful “I” am in terms of coming with convincing reasons to feel bad. Basically started down on this whole narrative about how I wasn’t living the life I should be and was covering up problems through actualism (and thus shouldn’t get back to feeling good).

After getting back to feeling good I just don’t agree with what I was believing at the time. The things I was worried about seem like microscopic unfairnesses in a sea of abundance. Feeling bad about them seems like cutting off my nose to spite my face. Plus it’s obvious that by feeling bad about those unfairnesses I just made, piled on more problems for myself and others by spreading unpleasant vibes. (1 Dec 2025)

And one from Ian in December last year, how wonderful it is being increasingly happy and harmless and naïvely appreciating being alive –

Ian: And it really is so much fun. It feels like have crossed a threshold where now I am engaged in the play of increasing my enjoyment and appreciation, becoming happy and harmless, above/instead of my normal goals, because it is so much fun – fun now, to see the way I tick, to identify/ describe the different facets/ faces of being this identity, and gently let them slide in favour of more harmlessness.

There’s so much to it, so much wonderfulness – it seems every part of the experience of being alive is fascinating.

I’m having what seems to be somewhat cyclical (as my energy and attention waxes and wanes) waves of experiences of naiveté that I haven’t had before, where there is no enemy, where life is playful and joyful, where shimmers of amazement and wonder come to the fore, where there is literal pleasure trickling through my body in just being alive – sensuosity is also of the internal body, where feeling good really feels so good, where appreciation of my fellow human being (great phrase) and the acknowledgement of effort made and energy imparted by us as individuals and collectively comes easily.

Enjoying seeing where this is going. (Ian’s Journal, 15 December 2024). (Actualism, Actualvineeto, Ian, 16 December 2024).

All the best

Cheers Vineeto

December 5 2025

JOSEF: Just getting some thoughts down as they are occurring. It is making me sad that achieving everything I have ever wanted – peace, total carefreeness, unconditional happiness – will mean my demise. I will not be there to experience it.

Actualism was supposed to be the way “I” became the best version of myself. But “I” am the problem, “I” am in the way.

VINEETO: Hi Josef,

You are not quite correct to say it “will mean my demise”. You already figured this out when you quoted Richard in your last post that it will mean the demise of ‘me’, the identity having hijacked the flesh-and-blood body Josef. (...)

You experienced in the PCE that it is not only possible but far, far better to live without identity – even though you said you were “not ready for the experience at all”. Let the dust settle and digest it all before allowing yourself to become said over something that you can in fact rejoice about. Then you will see that it is still as sensible way to proceed becoming “best version of myself” by diminish the ‘self’ in the meantime, until you are fully ready to abandon your ‘self’ altogether.

Yes, the identity, of no fault of your own, is “the problem”, it has now become redundant because intelligence can take the place of the instinctual passions, which were necessary for the survival of early humans. You took up the actualism method in order to live in peace and harmony with your partner – which means you understood that the identity as it was could not do that.

And now, in nostalgic reminiscence about the ‘good old identity’, which only causes you trouble, you are “sad” that you may want to diminish it, even intending ‘your’ demise in order to “achieving everything I have ever wanted”.

This is not sensible.

When you get back to feeling good you will see that for yourself.

Whilst I understand your shock and being overwhelmed by the implications of the experience you were “not ready for” – but then one is never ready for an experience outside of one’s normal parameters – why not instead appreciate and enjoy what has happened instead of filling the gap with the usual fearful and sorrowful feelings?

Just a suggestion. (Actualism, Actualvineeto, Josef, 1 December 2025).

JOSEF: Thanks Vineeto, I’m going through many different feelings and thoughts at the moment while digesting this experience. Going to wait till the dust settles before I write more.

VINEETO: Hi Josef,

Now that you had a few days to digest, and perhaps even were able to rememorate the PCE you had, let me clarify what I wrote to you in my last message.

I had said in “you are not quite correct to say it ‘will mean my demise’.” This is factual only from the actual-world perspective where ‘my’ demise has already happened. From the feeling being’s frame of mind, however, ‘I’ will have to disappear in order for the actual world to become apparent – just as ‘you’ went into abeyance for the PCE to occur. So, it was a correct perception, once the PCE ended, that ‘you’, ‘who’ you feel and therefore think yourself to be, “will not be there to experience it” – the actual world.

That is the very reason you are encouraged to imitate the actual by enjoying the felicitous and innocuous feelings – those that require very little ‘self’ to flourish – and diminish the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ feelings, which are ‘self-enhancing and cause ripples in your own life and those of others. And the more you succeed in doing that the more ‘you’ enjoy the experience of being alive.

Yes, in the overall perspective “‘I’ am the problem” – and it is very informative to have a frame of reference of what you are doing and why, but it is also entirely in your hands how fast you want to proceed and how far you want to go … and still become/ be a friendly, amiable, peaceful, magnanimous, sensible, autonomous, appreciative, less-self-centric and overall enjoyable human being.

Feeling being ‘Vineeto’ used to say, “it’s the best game in town to play” –

‘Vineeto’: Having come that far in my contemplations I likened the whole path to freedom as a big balloon-popping party. Imagine a room full of balloons floating near the ceiling, in different colours, with different names of instincts, emotions, beliefs and conditioning written on them. The aim of the game is to pop every single balloon one by one by questioning, investigating and identifying the nature of the various beliefs, emotions and instincts. Once the last balloon is popped I am free. I imagine it to be light green, big, evasive, with fear written all over it. I need to keep it firmly in place, not getting distracted by doubt or other flight manoeuvres, and then – pop! That imagination changes the whole adventure from its heroic and dramatic frame into the thrilling and delightful journey it actually is. It also pulls the plug of making a big fuss about it. Mind you, I still consider it the best game to play, despite the other options you talked about in your letter. (Actualism, Vineeto, Actual Freedom List, Irene, 14.10.1998)

Josef, as you can see by the date, it was still a decade away for ‘her’ to becoming actually free then (and ‘her’ imagination was not precisely in line with the facts – imagination never is) but it was overall a fun and sometimes a thrilling adventure all the way.

This one is more accurate and to the point –

‘Vineeto’: As you can see, actualism is all about diminishing one’s identity to the point where one becomes virtually happy and harmless such that ‘self’-immolation can happen – it has nothing to do with re-programming, re-interpreting, re-defining, re-labelling, re-shuffling, acquiring trinkets or replacing one part of one’s identity with another more shiny outfit – if applied with sincerity and intent the method of actualism will evoke actual change and that’s why many apparently find it too frightening to commit to.

But once you get over the hump, it’s the best game to play in town. (Actualism, Vineeto, Actual Freedom List, No. 38e, 11.4.2004).

Cheers Vineeto