|
(List D refers to Richard’s List D
Vineeto’s Correspondence with Henry on Discuss Actualism Forum
VINEETO: Hence the expression that the planet grows human beings neither requires conjecture nor searching for the origin of flora, fauna and human beings in outer space. HENRY: I was initially trying to capture that I was observing (more) directly the matter that everything is composed of without the influence of feeling-fed narrative. Though the irony is that describing it as star-dust is reintroducing narrative as in ‘stars act as a forge for the creation of heavier forms of matter via fusion, which are then spread throughout the universe and condense into planets.’ Already this is treading into scientific theory which I haven’t researched deeply. I found an article which describes this process: “After millions of years, immense pressures and temperatures in the star’s core squeeze the nuclei of hydrogen atoms together to form helium, a process called nuclear fusion. Nuclear fusion releases energy, which heats the star and prevents it from further collapsing under the force of gravity.” Through further research I found that the idea of nuclear fusion powering stars was presented in 1920 by Arthur Eddington, and that further observations such as stellar spectra, predicted energy output, neutrinos, helioseismology, lifetime of stars, and the relative abundance of the various elements support the current theory that stars are powered by fusion and thus the matter throughout the universe passed through stars. However, I did have a chuckle when I saw that ‘theoretical models’ were part of the evidence, and it made it apparent that the theorizing since then has also been a model (though many of the aspects of evidence above are directly observable with the right equipment). VINEETO: Hi Henry, Well spotted, “spread throughout the universe” is clearly based on belief in an
expanding of the universe. You are also alert to “‘theoretical models’” and probably already keep in
mind that atoms and molecules and their smaller derivations are all theoretical thingymajigs. (see ‘Vineeto’ was initially quite delighted with the wonderful images from the Hubble telescope and collected many on the computer until one day Richard told ‘her’ that all images are artificially coloured, ‘translated’, if my memory serves me correctly, from measurement based amongst other input on ‘Doppler shift’ and red shift, both from the assumption that stellar object are ‘moving away’ in an expanding universe. As such the colouring is most likely not how these galaxies actually look like. ‘She’ soon lost interest after that information. I also found this curious quote in the Helioseismology link –
Reading these ‘scientific’ presentations requires a lot of care and caution to sort any possible factual information from the generally believed narrative. HENRY: Further, on reflection it’s apparent that part of that theory is dependent on big bang theory, as the supposition is that the universe ‘started out’ in a theorized pre-matter form, transforming into plasma and ‘elementary particles’ (which exist theoretically as well) and then which condensed into “mostly hydrogen, with some helium and lithium.” VINEETO: Ha, exactly. The first article you linked to states “Astronomers estimate that the universe could contain up to one septillion stars”. This limited number (despite its size) can only be confidently stated when one believes the universe to be finite in time and space (in order to leave room for god(s) to reside). HENRY: From here, the lighter gases would eventually fuse to form the myriad of forms of matter we see today. However, with no big bang there’s no ‘beginning’ and so this chain of events doesn’t have to occur to produce that myriad of forms. We do know that fusion occurs, it can be generated(?) in the lab (albeit for a short time), and it does produce heavier elements. But there is plenty of room for theory around the edges… VINEETO: You do seem to get the drift – as Richard said, facts are thin on the ground. HENRY: Because of all this, I understand what you mean as far as this planet growing us as being directly observable, whereas “the sun is powered by fusion and therefore this is all stardust” is an abstraction based on a theoretical understanding. In me, it took the form of a meme – I first heard the phrase in a Moby song: Moby ‘We Are All Made of Stars’ <snipped lyrics and interviews> That famously solipsistic argument. So that indicates somewhat his attitude toward the universe. VINEETO: As you demonstrate they are hopelessly steeped in non-material /spiritual fantasy and some are “famously solipsistic” as well. HENRY: All in all, it’s a reminder for me of the dynamics described in one of my favorite passages of Richard’s:
In one instant was a quite pure experience (though there was still self present) and then I ‘translated’
the experience into a form that ‘I’ understood. VINEETO: This is a good description of what happened and you made a very valiant attempt to describe it that I recognized the significance and close-to-purity of this experience for you. Cheers Vineeto
VINEETO: Whereas I cannot honestly say that I am “star-dust” (as in “gaseous swirls of matter (as seen in nebulae) condensing into varying forms of stars, small planets, gas giants, etc”). In other words, I am the universe experiencing itself as a human being, I am not the universe per se, as in “gaseous swirls of matter”. HENRY: On rereading I see that part of the issue is ‘identifying with’ the objectified star-dust, which is a form of projection, whereas it is direct to say “I am this human body, composed of the same matter which composes the rest of the universe, grown on earth. I can see how looking out & identifying with something distant & grand becomes
self-aggrandizement (which is where the mystique and power of the Moby song comes from). VINEETO: Hi Henry, Don’t be too hasty with that statement. It is only factual when ‘I’ and ‘me’ are in abeyance. ”‘Identifying with’ the objectified star-dust“ would be an additional removal (to being an identity) from actuality so it is beneficial to recognize that and decline whenever it happens. As ‘I’ am my feelings ‘I’ cannot disidentify from what ‘I’ am, and any dissociative attempt to do that is counterproductive. ‘I’ and ‘me’ have to become extinct for one to be here permanently as “this flesh & blood body experiencing life here and now”. HENRY: I’m interested in how this relates to the lack of centre upon actual freedom:
VINEETO: As you are not “this flesh & blood body experiencing life here and now” unless you are in a PCE, this question cannot be answered as is. In a PCE you may experience to be “nowhere in particular” and get a glimpse of what it is to “be anywhere at all, for infinity is everywhere all at once.” It is marvellous, albeit it can be somewhat disorienting at first. HENRY: The star-dust, nebulae, etc. is not really ‘out there,’ as there is no
separation without identity… something for me to ponder. VINEETO: Exactly. It’s grand when you recognize that the universe is “not really ‘out there’” and then can experientially verify it over and over. Cheers Vineeto
VINEETO: As ‘I’ am my feelings ‘I’ cannot disidentify from what ‘I’ am, and any dissociative attempt to do that is counterproductive. ‘I’ and ‘me’ have to become extinct for one to be here permanently as “this flesh & blood body experiencing life here and now”. VINEETO: As you are not “this flesh & blood body experiencing life here and
now” unless you are in a PCE, this question cannot be answered as is. HENRY: This was awesome to read, thank you for setting me straight on this. I’ve been
trying to force something which wasn’t happening, it explains a lot of the dissociation that I’ve experienced over
the years. It’s like the actualism equivalent of stolen valour, trying to ‘be’ something that I’m not! VINEETO: Hi Henry, I am pleased that you got this in one – it’s a big and essential realisation to distinguish between the ‘outer’ world created by the identity within and the actual world. The identity creates a veneer pasting it over everything you see, hear, touch and smell.
I like your sense of humour with the “stolen valour” expression – in fact when you are adapting “stolen valour” you are fooling nobody but yourself. To be “this flesh & blood body experiencing life here and now” there is no other way but to give ‘your’ “full-blooded endorsement” to ‘your’ demise –
And because the means to the end is the same as the end (enjoyment and appreciation) this is going to be a fun adventure. Remember to dust off, i.e. awaken, your dormant naiveté and you will experientially know what I mean.
Cheers Vineeto
HENRY: Continuing the theme from Kuba’s and Claudiu’s journals, I have been investigating my own motivations while continuing to allow pure intent ever-greater influence, with wonderful results. It has recently become clear to me that my primary obstacle has been a lack of courage in the face of humanity, a fundamental fear of ‘what would happen to me’ if my true views were exposed. It’s now clear that that fear is of ‘me’ being exposed rather than doubt about the PCE or the actually free state, meaning that it is ultimately circular in nature (I am afraid because I am afraid). VINEETO: Hi Henry, This is an excellent observation. As you said, the top-layer of this being afraid of being afraid is habitual, therefore it is relatively easy with diligent attentiveness to notice its occurrence and decline each time. HENRY: Because of the nonsensical nature of this position, as well as the apparent ubiquity of same position amongst my fellow humans, I have experienced a surge in motivation to free myself and everyone from this condition, consequences be damned. This audacity is experiential and obvious in its contrast to my habitually flinching character. It isn’t only me that has been holding back and putting on airs; it is also my friends, my lovers, my family, and all those that I have looked up to, pursued, or imitated throughout my life. VINEETO: The next layer is the emotional/ visceral fear of being afraid. Here a certain amount of audacity is required to allow yourself to feel the fear. You will notice, as feeling being ‘Vineeto’ did, that by allowing the feeling of fear to come to the surface (without dissociation), the fear itself diminished to the large degree. The reason is that fighting the fear is feeding it. By allowing the feeling you stop feeding it. Then the core layer of fear can be allowed to come to the surface without being overwhelming, and by being the feeling you can easily get back to feeling good and then ruminate, contemplate about its nature (for instance: the fear of what other people think about you when you do x, y or z). HENRY: I appreciate especially Vineeto’s recent post VINEETO: I am pleased to hear, Henry. It is mainly fear of appearing foolish in the eyes of others, and in one’s own eyes, which prevents one getting in contact with one’s naiveté, hidden-away-during-puberty, and it will open up a world of wonder and amazement, of adventurous excitement and curiosity in how ‘I’ operate. That’s when the actualism method really becomes fun. HENRY: I can no longer ignore the man behind the curtain. VINEETO: And why should you, be like a child again but with adult sensibilities. * HENRY: I have recently found that a major insecurity for me has been perceiving myself as ineffectual. I work as a social worker, and have frequently felt that it is an extremely ineffective profession: the stated aims are the rather nebulous “help people”, which is then backed up with dubious or non-existent financial and social support. The profession is filled with the compassionate and ineffective, forever wringing their hands and bemoaning the suffering they see. On reflection, it seems likely that I fell into this occupation via a willing tolerance for being ineffectual, indeed an implicit appetite for it as it gives me an easy ‘out:’ I have only to bemoan the state of ‘society,’ forever pointing the blame elsewhere as I paint myself as a virtuous exception to the rule. I no longer see myself this way. These do-gooders and victims are just as much a part of society, just as much a reflection of humanity as those who flex their power to greedily vacuum up wealth and further influence. Further, anger directed toward them is already an in-built function of society; my YouTube algorithm is currently packed with such individuals self-righteously railing to no avail. VINEETO: I can well relate to this tale. ‘Vineeto’ was trained as a social worker and found ‘herself’ over-educated and underqualified in practice, when ‘she’ worked as an addiction consultant after finishing ‘her’ university degree. The suffering coupled with cunning of the addicts bent on milking the system, which had no cure but only panacea, caused ‘Vineeto’ so much emotional stress that she had to quit after only two years. ‘She’ knew ‘she’ had no solution nor could ‘she’ see any on the horizon. Let me know if you find a way of becoming effective in your field of expertise. Remember –
HENRY: In the end, the prescription is straightforward: to become
effective. How could I respect myself otherwise? It is an insult to intelligence (to paraphrase Richard) to continue on
attempting something with an obvious and long-running track-record of futility. To continue to be weak and wasteful
with this one life is abhorrent, leaving me with nowhere to go but the place that scares me the most – intimacy &
enjoyment of this moment of being alive. VINEETO: I wish you success in whatever field of endeavour you are choosing to be effective. Cheers Vineeto
HENRY: Recently travelled to another city, I got back home last night. I saw how while I was gone there was a breath of fresh air as I was outside my usual environs, habits, and triggers. Similarly, when I got on the plane and began to anticipate being home, I could see my old triggers popping up again one by one, as though I was dressing in ‘my’ familiar clothing, one article at a time to complete the outfit. From this perspective the actualism method is obvious – seeing each of those triggers and questioning its usefulness, ultimately choosing to discard them each one by one, revealing enjoyment & appreciation in their absence. Similarly, it’s obvious why the method can only be completed from the position of being ‘me’: each thing/ identity structure can only be observed while it is in operation. Success is apparent as each thing is discarded to never return. VINEETO: Hi Henry, What a great report of success. And you spelt it out precisely – progress can only happen “from the position of being ‘me’”. PCEs are fundamental to experientially understand actualism, for renewed confidence in your growing comprehension of an actual freedom and a firm connection to pure intent. But to apply the actualism and move towards your goal of becoming free the “identity structure can only be observed while it is in operation”, and subsequently dismantled and discarded. HENRY: It’s also obvious how much more ‘light’ and comfortable I was when I was outside my usual – illustrative of the things that ‘I’ still consist of. ‘I’ have felt very awkward and uncomfortable since being back, the contrast makes this obvious. I’m aiming to make the most of this period of contrast. VINEETO: Your feeling “awkward and uncomfortable” is due to ‘me’ having lost some of the strict control ‘you’ had over your life. You can direct those feeling towards opening more and more to being naïve and unsophisticated, allowing yourself to embrace and enjoy the already lost control and this new-won freedom, and revel in the magic it provides to your ongoing experience of enjoyment and wonderment. It reminds me of Richard’s story on his personal web-page –
HENRY: On the flip side, it makes it clear how much better
being even somewhat closer to felicity & innocuity is. ‘My’ life, priorities, and triggers seem so
transparent and ephemeral right now. All it took was for me to get on a plane and fly an hour from home for ‘me’
to go into somewhat of a hibernation (or ‘holiday!’). All these objects, attachments, ‘needs,’ narratives
etc. were discarded and forgotten, why pick them up again? VINEETO: Well, “all it took was for me to get on a plane” is only the start – now it is the fun challenge to keep the ‘holiday atmosphere’ going and with diligent and fascinated attention avoid to return to the “usual environs, habits, and triggers”. What do you think – isn’t this doable? Cheers Vineeto
HENRY: It’s been becoming very obvious lately how much I center lust/ libido in my priorities, as well as some of the pitfalls of that approach, so I have been poking around in it a bit more. It seems my loop is boredom – desire/ lust – anxiety. They depend on each other, as in boredom is an escape from anxiety, desire/ lust is a fantasized escape from boredom, and anxiety occurs when something interrupts or breaks the fantasized desire. Seemingly every moment of ‘my’ life has been within that loop in some way or another, I can see how many of my habitual activities are driven by one of those 3. Perhaps you could add anger-aggression as a step after anxiety (rebelling against feeling the anxiety, which eventually collapses into boredom/ depression). VINEETO: Hi Henry, My first question would be – did you come up with this diagnosis when feeling good? Otherwise your diagnosis would just be a symptom of your feeling cycle. Let’s assume you have identified three main priorities correctly – boredom, lust and anxiety – with some incidences of anger. Here is one example where Richard talks about boredom – without me having to guess why you are possibly bored with life when you could be fascinated with finding out why you are bored –
Boredom is sometimes also described as ‘feeling neutral’, listless, resigned, resentful or depressed, and they all have at root the same cause – I don’t want to be here and I don’t want to find out what prevents me from being happy and harmless instead and enjoy being here now, at this only moment which one can experience being alive. The loop you describe all stems from trying to escape the original condition of not wanting to be here in an engaged way. I am reminded of what you said about dissociation a few weeks ago – perhaps there is a clue –
HENRY: In contrast to this loop is fun, as Vineeto has reminded me on a few occasions! Fun is interesting because it exists completely on its own, it does not depend on any outcome in contrast to desire-lust, which depends on certain instinctual cues which then must be engineered/ controlled. No wonder it’s always disappointed! Fun happens here & now. I’m having a very interesting time right now contrasting this against ‘my’ loop, they exist on such different existential threads. I can be a Henry that loops through those 3 familiar states, or I can be a Henry that enjoys and appreciates what is happening now. VINEETO: Again, what is the obstacle that prevents you from enjoying and appreciating being here? HENRY: My most consistent interruption of PCEs/ excellence in the past has been that I ‘remember’ my ‘important mission’ to seek out my symbols of desire, and then turn my attention toward acquisition, which I now see is just one step in the looping. VINEETO: The following correspondence might be informative –
In other words, when you are naïve, awaken your dormant naiveté, women will no longer be objects of your “mission” or merely an “acquisition” to satisfy your desire, but fellow human beings, persons in their own right and interesting to interact with. It is an entirely different ballgame and a fascinating inclusive adventure to boot. HENRY: I am informed here by Vineeto’s description of the woman of Indian birth becoming free:
VINEETO: The situation you are referring to does not apply here – you seeing the loop does not end it, perhaps because the seeing is merely intellectual and not existential. However, with sincerity you can unlock naiveté (again), which will allow you to be more fully engaged and sincerely fascinated being alive, and like your fellow human beings, both male and female –
HENRY: As I recall moments of my life, I can look for moments of
particular vibes and see how they have repeated metronomicly, whether in the hourly, daily, monthly, or yearly
scales. This is ‘my’ life, what ‘I’ have proven myself to be. And then there is now, where there is a choice to
be made of how to be. VINEETO: What happened to the ‘holiday atmosphere’ after you stepped off the plane which you wrote about 2-3 days ago? Viz:
Cheers Vineeto
HENRY: … I’d say typically that happiness & harmlessness has frequently stopped in the past because some hopeful fantasy of mine was disappointed. (…) Yes, I can see that same retreating attitude coming up reflexively. And then the pursuit of fantasy-objects drains what affective energy I could conjure. So it’s about choosing pure intent / pursuit of freedom as the priority over those. I have believed in them. … Believing in romantic love, essentially. VINEETO: Hi Henry, Great, you pinpointed the dominating obstacle which stops you feeling good – now my next question is: what will it take for you to inquire into and dismantle “believing in romantic love”? It is possible and doable, but it requires an ongoing affective attentiveness to how you feel whenever emotions pop up regarding the “acquisition” of women, and observing how much your feelings and behaviour are shaped by the various dreams and taboos you have swallowed hook, line and sinker when growing up, like so many others have. Don’t be afraid that you might feel a fool, as it is not your fault, and the discoveries and acknowledgement of what is happening are of great benefit to boot. Besides, being courageously honest with yourself will lead to sincerity, and sincerity can open the door to naiveté. * VINEETO: ... when you are naïve, awaken your dormant naiveté, women will no longer be objects of your “mission” or merely an “acquisition” to satisfy your desire, but fellow human beings, persons in their own right and interesting to interact with. HENRY: This is definitely my bleeding edge at this point. I’m looking at this now. VINEETO: Perhaps this quote may give you even more encouragement to become fascinated and engaged when contemplating this topic –
What Richard wrote just two paragraphs before the above link may be relevant as well –
There is certainly a lot of further wonderful and fascinatingly revealing details to discover and explore once you leave “believing in romantic love” behind. * VINEETO: The situation you are referring to does not apply here – you seeing the loop does not end it, perhaps because the seeing is merely intellectual and not existential. However, with sincerity you can unlock naiveté (again), which will allow you to be more fully engaged and sincerely fascinated being alive, and like your fellow human beings, both male and female – HENRY: This point is well taken. It’s becoming clearer and clearer to me how I have consistently leaned on ‘my’ intellect to ‘understand’ things and overlooking the essential ingredients of naiveté & fascination. I had an experience of naiveté around 10 days ago and I could clearly see how the thoughts & conclusions I was experiencing were completely different, things were coming out of ‘left field’ which makes it apparent how my normal thinking process is trying to imaginatively construct meaning from within myself. I can see how that would ensure that I stay in place. It’s funny looking at it right now because the advice is essentially “have you considered using the actualism method.” Without being hard on myself, it’s amazing & amusing to see how I’ve managed to dodge it to stay alive, always going back to ‘my’ habitual approach. Seems I’m moving in the right direction, though. Considerably more naiveté, purity, simplicity, excellence in the last month or so. I really want to figure this out, get over the hump with this. VINEETO: Ha, you have un-coded my message correctly. It’s great to hear you are “moving in the right direction”. Naiveté starts with liking yourself and others, but it doesn’t stop there. The steady moving away from intellectualisation and theorizing in favour of directly experiencing how you are feeling at this moment of being alive, and removing any obstacle to feeling good right now, the only moment you can actually experience, will allow you to eventually be less guarded and more guileless. And once this new-found naiveté becomes familiar territory, nothing can stop you. Besides, have you ever noticed that it is never not this moment? HENRY: And I also find it threatening and fearful to not be considered attractive by people that I’m attracted to. That was, and has been the consistent trigger: I interact with someone I’m attracted to, generally become nervous, and then perceive or interpret that I’m being rejected and begin to spiral. This week has been a music festival evenings in my town, and that setting has been and continues to be a minefield for me. All of this is based on your observation above that I am viewing these women as an object of desire rather than “fellow human beings, persons in their own right and interesting to interact with”. Throughout the week have had some opportunities to observe this in operation, as well as to experiment with more naiveté and changing my goals away from “desiring sex” toward becoming fascinated with seeing people as they actually are. I’m still halfway in and halfway out, I can see that I could use more actually desiring the naiveté, desiring freedom, more ‘punch’ behind it, it all still feels rather tentative & ‘backseat.’ It seems that is inherent to my habitual approach: strong libidinal desire, coupled with tentativeness, confusion, anxiety. It’s a whirlpool. If ‘my’ approach worked, there would be no need for confusion, so that’s a pretty big red flag by itself. Well, enough thinking, time for more naiveté! Thank you for the considered response! VINEETO: My guess would be that the first thing to disable is a habit of being hard on
yourself, and start being your best friend in your own thrilling adventure to acknowledge the intricacies of the
various feelings, sometimes happening in rapid succession. Putting the feeling (which ‘you’ are) in a
bind, may allow you to ‘jump out of the box’ and experience a whole new world. (See Richard’s detailed
description about putting anger in a bind). It’s not possible to command yourself to be naïve but you can give yourself permission, bit by bit, to increasingly slip out from under the control of your superintending agent (the ‘doer’). Cheers Vineeto
HENRY: The biggest thing which has been sticking with me since my ‘trip’ Saturday has been a realization of who ‘I’ really wanted to be, who ‘I’ had once been as a kid and had lost track of in the pursuit of proving myself as a serious adult. I remember having a mental image of a naive but lost & lonely kid, seeing all the adults all focused in one place and thinking “Oh! That must be where I need to go!” and diving with all my energy and focus into the place of seriousness, of sophistication, of being someone important. I’m incredibly happy to say that this serious adult has been mortally wounded… my delight, lightness, humour, and appreciation of my fellows on the beach in the sun put paid to that person. I remembered myself as a ‘plucky kid.’ Looking up the definition of plucky: “having or showing determined courage in the face of difficulties.” I’m reminded of the Geoffrey quote that Kuba ;brought up not long ago:
It’s so wonderful to have pursued all seriousness to its end, to the point that I can no longer ‘take it seriously.’ This plucky kid is both who I once was, who I want to be, and the perfect launching-place to become free from… the delight is everywhere, and I delight in myself and who I am as well… everyone is a peer and a play-mate, I want nothing but the best for them and need nothing. The courage is of examining and questioning the conclusions of all those serious and sophisticated adults, determinedly pursuing each aspect to its end in the face of the potential reprobation of society. Of enjoying and appreciating even though it is the last thing approved by the sophisticates – indeed, it’s considered the domain of simpletons. Fools may rush in, but only a sophisticate can remain forever trapped in confusion & depression, and then characterize that condition as a virtue! VINEETO: Hi Henry, What a wonderful report and how eloquently you describe your new-found ‘domain’ – that of the ‘simpleton’ and ‘fool’ in others’ eyes but actually the naïve unsophisticated explorer for a whole lot of enjoyment and appreciation of this moment of being alive like child’s play. You may have to remind yourself when old habits try to reassert themselves and seduce you to inadvertently slip back into serious familiar moods – but with affective attentiveness that too can be a fun game. HENRY: From this position who I have been is cast in sharp relief… the bemoaning and anxiety, the skulking, the constant embarrassment & shame. From this naivete there is no need to pretend I know some deep truths that are beyond my ken… my puzzling is simple, graspable, accessible to myself and to everyone. My path is easily trod, as easy as a walk in the woods. All I have to do is continue as I am, and as each step is a delight, there’s no sense of effort involved at all, but instead delight & fascination at having arrived at this place that Richard wrote about, which I have visited but never lived for long, and now see as the jewel of life, the thing that answers all the questions of philosophers and the rest of the lost wanderers. I can’t say enough about how glad I am to be here. To all those reading, I encourage you to
find this simple naiveté, your own ‘plucky kid,’ as a priority over all other priorities. VINEETO: It is a joy to read your descriptions, “plucky kid”. HENRY: The dynamic quality is absolutely here as well – if a
PCE is being ‘teleported to another world,’ this virtual freedom is the outcome of 10,000 leagues of travel,
dead-ends, perseverance at its best, rewarded with the best living I’ve ever had and with the promise of more to
come. I wouldn’t trade my place in the world with anyone, and I would say I can’t wait for what happens next
except that what’s happening right now has my entire attention. In this space thoughts come from seemingly nowhere,
surprising new conclusions adding fascinating new facets to my reality, each with a clean & glowing quality that
tells me pure intent is freely operating… the actual world is near and nearer. VINEETO: Ha, now you know why Richard keeps emphasizing that virtual freedom is not to be sneezed at in an all-or-nothing approach and a serious bid for self-immolation before one has discovered and explored the fun of being like a child again with adult sensibilities. You described it well, and with actualism slowly spreading over all continents this will be the trickle-down effect of the third alternative for everyone, not to mention the effects of happy and harmless affective vibes and currents. HENRY: Incidentally, Vineeto, you recently questioned
whether I had a habit of being hard on myself – upon investigation that has absolutely been true, and I’m happy
to say that as I am now it’s no longer necessary – I have the confidence that I will tackle whatever comes with
aplomb, that any mistakes to come are unavoidable parts of the living process, and any ‘being hard’ will only
slow me down. It has come up a few more times in the last few days and has been quickly recognized and swept aside,
each time greeted with yet another gust of increasingly fresh & delicious free air. I appreciate the observation
& comment! This is all becoming so easy!
VINEETO: Oh, was that ever necessary to be hard on yourself – or did you mean to say it was an acquired habit and is no longer applicable? You are so right – it will only slow you down in feeling good, feeling excellent and walking around in wide-eyed wonder. I am pleased to see you “appreciate the observation”, don’t forget to apply this same appreciation when you make the observations yourself and unmask your tricks and cunning to “slow me down”. It is indeed “so easy” and fun once you discover the long-lost childhood naiveté. Cheers Vineeto
HENRY: I’ve had a thought which has changed a lot for me. VINEETO: Hi Henry, Ha … it’s not the “thought” which was important but the experience of naiveté “which has changed a lot for me”. HENRY: I’ve been at home convalescing for a few days, and it’s funny because it’s been a bit of a vacation from all the action I usually subject myself to – I’m not rushing into town, off to social engagements, to the various sports I like to play – I’m just hanging out at home with my cat, reading and watching various things on the internet, enjoying the sun on the deck. It’s been really lovely, and a peace has been gradually settling like gentle snow. VINEETO: I remember you were having a similar experience when you returned from a trip out of town for a few days in April –
Is it that you have the ability to shift effortlessly into naiveté but don’t yet value and consciously appreciate it enough, thus lacking the intent to remain naive? HENRY: Yesterday was especially magical, so easy and surprising, and delighting & appreciating this peace & ease. Everything was so easy it was like it has always been like this, all my past depressions and anxiety seem like a bad dream only… the insanities across the globe seem incomprehensible from here (though I understand intellectually). From this space it occurred to me that anyone I come across could be in a PCE – there’s no special cue that tells me in advance, they absolutely could be and I just wouldn’t know. And the peace and delight this thought gave me revealed something – it showed how scared I have been of other people. I have internalized all the nastiness, meanness, anxiety that everyone is capable of, and have recoiled from it – but this thought that they could be in a PCE pierced that narrative. VINEETO: While the “thought” was imaginary it nevertheless demonstrated experientially that there is no need to “recoil” from other people when you yourself slip into being naïve – liking yourself and hence equally liking others – and suddenly life becomes genuinely magical.
HENRY: Suddenly now I’m seeing everyone as a potential collaborator in the fun to be had, rather than someone that might hurt me, an enemy. I have even weaponized actualism, as in “aren’t people so terrible” and thus to be avoided. VINEETO: The “weaponizing” of what you call ‘actualism’ has its source in not liking yourself, i.e. resent in yourself the ‘bad’ aspects of the human condition. Once you become guileless yourself and like yourself as you are – a product of the genetic heritage everyone is afflicted with – coupled with the sincere intent of doing something about it, then the world becomes a veritable playground. HENRY: And now I can see how it is for a free person – they only meet the actual person. There is no need to recoil – there is appreciation, liking the actual person that they are. And that requires not putting up a defensive wall, I have to really see them, allow that intimacy to occur. And I can see how easy it is to do that now, actually it’s a joy to do because of all the fun to be had. VINEETO: Be careful to not make a moral or ethical command out of your insight – as in “I have to really see them”. Seeing “how easy it is to do that now”, your intent to allow it is sufficient. HENRY: It doesn’t matter if they’re not in a PCE – they
probably are not – because it’s clear now that they were never hurting me anyway, it was always me hurting
myself. I was ‘protecting’ myself, but all it was doing was keeping this resentment and fearfulness alive. In
this space, it’s evident how meagre that life was – no wonder I felt like I was missing something, I absolutely
was! VINEETO: Indeed, it does not matter at all that “they’re not in a PCE”
(it was only a fantasy anyway) – because when you are “traipsing through the world about
in a state of wide-eyed wonder and amazement as if a child again (guileless, artless, ingenuous, innocuous) – yet
with adult sensibilities whereby the distinction betwixt being naïve and being gullible is readily separable” All that is required now is a sincere attentiveness so as to not habitually slip back into ‘your’ still familiar world of fear and sorrow. Cheers Vineeto
HENRY: I was puzzling through what has been happening in Iran and Israel lately and it became apparent that there were a few questions I didn’t have answers to, and I could see that I was kind of hiding from that fact. I realized that I was hiding because I wanted to play the role of someone that is ‘in the know,’ so I could prance about and say important-sounding things about world events. But the truth is that I don’t know much about what is happening on the other side of the world. I found this ‘void’ very threatening, and fortunately I remembered that this was a wonderful opportunity to be attentive to what was happening. As I watched closely the void evaporated leaving me simply where I was, in the dim midnight
light of my house. I could see that my posturing was just a way of ‘building myself up’ to avoid the void, but
here there was no need to leave – everything is already here. VINEETO: Hi Henry, This is an excellent report of what exquisite awareness-cum-attentiveness can do Perhaps you even experienced that you are already here, in this eternal moment of now, the only moment you can actually experience. This excerpt of a correspondence might give you even more (experiential) insight about “everything is already here” –
Cheers Vineeto
HENRY: One of my occupations is operating various motorized vehicles, and something I have been finding is that, especially because I live in a temperate rainforest, those vehicles have a habit of oxidizing over time, requiring various maintenance, weatherproofing, and repairs. While this is quite inconvenient regarding the continued function of those vehicles, I have been realizing that it is also reflective of the active (not passive!) nature of matter. The metals, plastics, and various other materials that these machines are made up of are constantly interacting with solar radiation, chemically interacting with water and oxygen gas, and warming and cooling (and radiating themselves!). They are never sitting doing ‘nothing’ like some kind of platonic solid. Everywhere and always these subtle interactions are occurring. So despite my efforts to make them last forever in a particular state that is to my liking, they
continue to change, constantly vibrating and undergoing chemical changes to become something different than they were
a moment ago. I can clearly see that this process is fundamental to the nature of the universe, so to be annoyed by
it is to be forever annoyed. It’s quite funny to consider being annoyed by the fact that matter is not merely
passive! VINEETO: Hi Henry, This is a great observation and realisation and a veritable source of constant delight and appreciation. It is also a fundamental demarcation between materialism and actualism. As Richard said, “We do not live in an inert universe“. It must be a pretty and pleasant area you live in, “a temperate rainforest”, which makes vehicles and other metals change their status quo faster than elsewhere. Just one comment – those “metals, plastics, and various other materials”, i.e. the elements and compounds, which constitute all matter and all of which are as old as the universe, are not “constantly vibrating“ (except when some power source vibrates them) –
But perhaps you meant something else when you said “constantly vibrating”? To contemplate with fascinated attention that none of this matter Cheers Vineeto
HENRY: So anything that isn’t ‘absolute zero’ (which is supposed to be unreachable) is vibrating to some extent. VINEETO: Hi Henry, Very pretty images from Alaska. Your above statement is based on the model of an atom with a supposed nucleus and electrons, positrons and neutrons swirling around the nucleus. HENRY: I know that what we call an ‘atom’ is a theoretical structure, but is the vibrating also only a model? VINEETO: As an atom is a theoretical postulate, what supposedly happens within this postulate is also conjecture. Prof. Sir Alfred Brian Pippard (1920-2008), Emeritus Professor of Physics, University of Cambridge, knighted in 1974, had this to say, something which is still as valid today as then –
HENRY: edit: I found this article which describes the first imaging of molecular vibration. In the article they describe that prior to this imaging, the vibrations had been theoretical:
(…) But this cannot replace the fact that these eyes are actually seeing, these mechanoreceptors are actually touching, and so on. Any further explanation to this potentially apperceptive sensing remains interpretation, and frequently if not always leads away from what is actually happening as fact.
VINEETO: Regarding mechanoreceptors actually touching – the word “touching” here describes a mechanical device making contact, and not the sense of touch experienced by a sensate human being. Hence, I don’t know what you refer to when you say “mechanoreceptors are actually touching”. What is called “mechanoreceptors” are in fact living sensory neurons being manipulated by mechanical pressure or distortion and this can in no way be called apperceptive sensing just because some mechanical pressure is involved. I also don’t know what you mean by “potentially apperceptive sensing”. Apperception is a function of an identity-free consciousness, i.e. when you are being apperceptively aware, regardless of receiving mechanical pressure, or not. A mechanical device is neither sentient nor conscious let alone apperceptive. Perhaps the definition of actualism might clarify it for you – “the theory that nothing is merely passive (now rare)” (Oxford Dictionary) – and the experience that nothing is merely passive.
I only briefly looked into the article of AAU.edu and in the first paragraph it says:
Now, you cannot focus “light down to the size of an atom” nor produce images of molecules because atoms and molecules are not actual but mathematical postulates. As such the images they speak of are interpretations (quantum mathematics in quantum-language). When they say “a molecule’s normal modes of vibration” they refer to a postulate’s (molecule’s) mode of conjectured operation, in this case labelled “vibration”. To quote again Emeritus Professor of Physics, Sir Alfred Brian Pippard –
As such, I take all their discoveries and interpretations with a large dose of salt. When I became actually free, I lost any ability to believe as well as the ability to imagine. You so rightly said above, in the part I elided – HENRY: Part of what is significant here is the demonstration
that sense data is the supreme way to experience and interpret actuality. I have found that ‘my’ reality depends
on many of these theoretical constructs in which understanding and interpretation of ‘what is happening’ is
outsourced and dominated/ controlled/ owned by an authoritative constructed reality. Where there is interpretation
there is room for mistakes, and the model can never be actuality. In a slight-of-hand, our own sense-data
is hustled off to a closet and ignored, replaced by these models (which are given the official stamp of approval,
taught in schools, printed in books and online sources, etc.). VINEETO: It’s good to be fully aware that these theoretical constructs may well turn out to be an incorrect interpretation of what is actually happening, and because they are now ubiquitously in use, they can spawn a great deal of more theory, conjectures and imaginary conclusions merely based on mathematical equations and models thereof. While it describes the present models of reality, by their very nature of being theoretical constructs they can never be actual.
Cheers Vineeto
VINEETO: Hi Henry, HENRY: I know that what we call an ‘atom’ is a theoretical structure, but is the vibrating also only a model? (…) But this cannot replace the fact that these eyes are actually seeing, these mechanoreceptors are actually touching, and so on.
VINEETO: Regarding mechanoreceptors actually touching – the word “touching” here describes a mechanical device making contact, and not the sense of touch experienced by a sensate human being. Hence, I don’t know what you refer to when you say “mechanoreceptors are actually touching”. HENRY: Here I was referring to those neurons (the mechanoreceptors) being manipulated by the finger etc. touching, rather than any mechanical device. VINEETO: Ok, I was mislead by the (rather inappropriate ‘scientific’) naming of human/ animal receptor nerves when sending electrical signals to the central nervous system. I prefer to keep it simple, and thus make a semantic distinction between biological (including bio-electrical) functioning and mechanical operations involving man-made mechanical devices. * HENRY: Any further explanation to this potentially apperceptive sensing remains interpretation, and frequently if not always leads away from what is actually happening as fact. VINEETO: (…) Apperception is a function of an identity-free consciousness, i.e. when you are being apperceptively aware, regardless of receiving mechanical pressure, or not. A mechanical device is neither sentient nor conscious let alone apperceptive. HENRY: The reference to ‘potentially apperceptive sensing’
was because with an actually free person, that signal is not being interpreted according to beliefs. Though I am
realizing that that would perhaps require a fully free person. VINEETO: Indeed, or a person contemplating “that signal” in a PCE. Then one can experience that those signals are actually happening in the actual flesh-and-blood body – such as a full bladder for instance – (no matter what they are called in real-world ‘science’). Personally, I find it much easier to observe, delight, marvel in and appreciate the fact that it is all wonderfully operating of its own accord. * VINEETO: Now, you cannot focus “light down to the size of an atom” nor produce images of molecules because atoms and molecules are not actual but mathematical postulates. As such the images they speak of are interpretations (quantum mathematics in quantum-language). When they say “a molecule’s normal modes of vibration” they refer to a postulate’s (molecule’s) mode of conjectured operation, in this case labelled “vibration”. HENRY: Yes, this is the conclusion I came to as well. VINEETO: I am pleased you can appreciate that. I have always found Richard’s modus operandi very useful and effective, to look for the capstone of the upside-down pyramid when researching the facts or falsehoods of any topic – and it can be rather alarming that facts are far and few between the theories, hypothesis, models and outright lies and inventions –
As such when you know for a fact that atoms and molecules are hypothetical postulates and the question “whether electrons and nuclei have *an objective existence in reality is a metaphysical question to which no definite answer can be given*” (Prof. A. Brian Pippard) then you also know that everything built upon this premise is not actual, even when a large number of ‘scientists’ consider them as real as everyday objects. Then it’s really simple, for you personally, to distinguish a belief or interpretation from fact and actuality in this topic. Cheers Vineeto
HENRY:
VINEETO: Hi Henry, I was puzzling why you put up this quote. I guess you are aware she is describing an altered state of consciousness? Here are some of the give-aways – “Lost in awe at the beauty”, “the moment of truth”, “even the mystics are unable …”, “brief flashes of spiritual ecstasy”, “become one with the spirit power of life itself”, “I had known timelessness and quiet ecstasy”, just to list the most obvious ones. Did you want to demonstrate how to recognize an altered state in contrast to a PCE perhaps? Cheers Vineeto
HENRY: Hi Vineeto, My impression was that it was a PCE, so perhaps this an opportunity for me to become more incisive. Could this be a case of a PCE devolving into an altered state? I think that the limitations of
language play a role as well often, for example someone who hadn’t ever read the Actualism site might find
themselves describing a PCE as ‘beautiful,’ having not observed that there was in fact no beauty at play. VINEETO: Hi Henry, Thank you for your reply. It is indeed vital to be “incisive” [astute] when assessing another’s (and your own) extraordinary experiences. Even though Claudiu wrote an excellent exposé Let’s have a close look at her wording and consider if you would use such words describing your own PCE –
Both “awe” and “beauty” are definitely feeling words.
“Truth” is clearly a spiritual/ religious word, so is “spiritual ecstasy”. Ecstasy also means ‘rapture, bliss, euphoria, jubilation, exaltation’ per Oxford Dictionary, which is clearly not describing an experience where the instinctual/ feeling self, both ‘I’ and ‘me’, is in abeyance. Also why mention “the mystics” unless one believes in a spiritual reality beyond the physical reality.
The “self” Jane Goodall is referring to is the ego-self, not the ‘Self’ with a capital “S”. With the ego-self absent she temporarily becomes “one with the spirit power [sic!] of life itself” and merges with “the chimpanzees, the earth and trees and air” – a oneness as is described being experienced in many altered states of consciousness.
This part of her description could be similar to that of a pure consciousness experience, even though it has a poetic tinge to it.
This indicates that the experience may have started as a PCE but very quickly devolved into an ASC, as demonstrated by her unequivocal spiritual sentences at the beginning and referral to malice and sorrow at the end.
The mentioning of the “revelation” being a strength “on which I could draw when life seemed harsh or cruel or desperate” means that nothing she experienced has revealed that there is an actual world where life is already, and always, perfect and pure. This is really the strongest clue that it was not ever a PCE despite her heightened awareness experience. I did not mention “timelessness” as the experience of time standing still in a PCE can
be easily misnamed – Richard explains it well in Pamela’s video. Does this help to draw a distinction between a pure consciousness experience and an altered state of consciousness (for millennia considered as the summum bonum of human consciousness)? Here is the selected correspondence on differentiating altered states and PCEs – (Richard,
Selected Correspondence, Affective vs. Pure Experiences) Cheers Vineeto
HENRY: Hi Claudiu and Vineeto, thanks for the thoughtful responses! It was clear to me when I initially read it that there was some spiritual language at minimum
mixed in, but it is more obvious following both of your analyses that it is more than just that. Claudiu I appreciate
that you found the original sources I can see in myself a habit of playing things “fast and loose” which I am seeing as a
product of an anxious demeanour… rushing for ‘optimism’ when the baseline is doubt. Looking at this now! VINEETO: Hi Henry, You have been interested in actualism for a while, and if you still are, then a distinction between a PCE – the (temporary) abeyance of ‘I’ and ‘me’ – and an altered state of consciousness – the (temporary) abeyance of ego – is vital. On making this distinction hinges what it is you pursue in your life – the perceived best of the real world or being a pioneer for something entirely new to human consciousness. It has not so much to do with “rushing for ‘optimism’” or following “the baseline” of “doubt” – it is not even “a product of an anxious demeanour”. It is rather a matter how interested you are in sincerely imitating the actual as experienced/ rememorated in a PCE. It is your sincerity of purpose which will inform you if you are closer to imitating the actual or just ‘getting by’. Cheers Vineeto
HENRY: I can see that my attention has been split into a few domains, perhaps the trend is simply not wanting to be ‘me’ as I am currently. Some of this has been intentional as I felt a couple years ago that I had been spiritual
bypassing in the sense that my life was a bit of a mess but I was avoiding my problems and feelings and living in a
false ‘actualist identity.’ I have been spending some time re-engaging with my occupation and social life, which
I don’t see as a contradiction to actualism but has meant engaging with things that I had long avoided, and as such
have had a lot to learn. In this, I have necessarily become quite involved in many ‘real-world’ problems. VINEETO: Hi Henry, Mmh, I can’t quite make sense of what you mean by “spiritual bypassing” – is that related to how you have been “avoiding my problems and feelings and living in a false ‘actualist identity’”? Perhaps it is time to simply clear the workbench and start afresh. HENRY: I am definitely still vitally interested in actualism and becoming free. I have found this period of consolidation productive in clearing the cobwebs out of some ‘dark corners’ of myself. I’ve also found the appearance of new problems informative. VINEETO: You know there is a very simple way to start afresh – now that you found that “avoiding my problems and feelings” is segueing in “not wanting to be ‘me’” –
* VINEETO: It is rather a matter how interested you are in sincerely imitating the actual as experienced/ rememorated in a PCE. It is your sincerity of purpose which will inform you if you are closer to imitating the actual or just ‘getting by’. HENRY: I appreciate this message. I’m experiencing it as something of a wake-up call… a reminder of pure intent. I remember in 2017 having a PCE and having the thought that ‘I’ would colonize the experience, co-opt it for my own ends… that is exactly what has happened over the years in many different forms. But the clean and clear qualities of the PCE are not something the identity can recreate completely. VINEETO: An excellent admission. Now is a good time as any to actualise this realisation. HENRY: I am happier and more harmless than I was 1 or 2 years
ago, and I’m pleased about that. Perhaps it’s time to step on the gas regarding attention to pure intent. VINEETO: I do find Geoffrey’s summary one of the best suggestions an actualist can adopt –
Ruthless honesty and utter sincerity will help you to succeed. Here is a quote you might take encouragement from –
Cheers Vineeto
VINEETO: Mmh, I can’t quite make sense of what you mean by “spiritual bypassing” – is that related to how you have been “avoiding my problems and feelings and living in a false ‘actualist identity’”? Perhaps it is time to simply clear the workbench and start afresh. HENRY: Yes precisely, basically I had some real-world issues that I hadn’t settled and was avoiding. Over the last 1-2 years I’ve been gradually reducing my aversion to facing and dealing with those issues directly. Currently I find my mental ‘to-do’ list to be a bit overwhelming, which is perhaps a sign that 1) I have succeeded in re-integrating myself into ‘normalcy’ and 2) it is time to do as you say and ‘clear the workbench.’ What is it like to get my life done from a place governed by sincerity, naivete, rather than avoidance and/or neediness? I can sense a whisper of it, which is enough to find my heading. VINEETO: Hi Henry, What about “from a place governed” by feeling good? As it says on the Cabbot’s paint tins in Australia, “when all else fails read the instructions” – in this case This Moment of Being Alive. Contrary to popular conception, it doesn’t take ‘time out’ to adopt the habit of affectively monitoring your mood and pay attention to when the mood-meter goes below feeling good. Then apply whatever tool is necessary to get back to feeling good and resolve what triggered feeling less than good so that it doesn’t occur again. When you are feeling good, your “to do list” will not so much be governed by duties, responsibilities and obligations (to which you now want to add ‘practicing actualism’ as an additional burden) but you may gain a different perspective that life is meant to be easy and enjoyable, and then you may want more of this. It goes almost without saying that genuinely feeling good and feeling happy only works when you are also feeling harmless, i.e. considerate and friendly, (including towards yourself). One of ‘Vineeto’s’ favourite quotes might help to get unstuck –
Of course sincerity is vital to make sure you are not fooling yourself, whilst naiveté is not really something you can ‘govern’, rather allow it to come to the fore, as much as you dare. HENRY:
Noted – for some reason previous attempts at this commitment have not
‘stuck,’ honestly not sure what I’m missing. Leaving that as an open question for myself for now (though if
anyone has ideas or suggestions, feel free to comment). VINEETO: When, or if, you come to a point where you find yourself looking for the meaning of life, the purpose of existence, other than fulfilling the to-do-list again and again, here is an observation about commitment –
It might take a gestation period. Cheers Vineeto
Freedom from the Human Condition – Happy and Harmless Vineeto’s & Richard’s Text ©The Actual
Freedom Trust: 1997-. All Rights Reserved.
Disclaimer |
