There is no secret message behind the words of actualism for it unabashedly points to an experience that everybody has had in there lives – a pure consciousness experience – and it explains the very simple, but at first difficult to put into operation, method of achieving that same tangible pure consciousness experience of freedom from the human condition, 24 hrs. a day, every day.

I might just end with a tip for beginners and that is to start the method of becoming attentive by focussing on obvious things and good examples are being grumpy about the weather, being upset about the traffic or being annoyed by what someone else says or does. This way you become used to becoming aware of how you are experiencing this moment of being alive and begin to notice what it is that is preventing you from being happy and harmless right now.

I’m quite new to the spiritual scene, I have been studying Andrew’s teachings for about four years now and that’s actually the only experience I have, apart for being a human being, of course. What I mean is that before I came upon Andrew’s teachings I hadn’t been searching or looking very deeply either, so I’m glad that the teachings have served me as a way into a hopefully sincere investigation of life and the human predicament.

In my experience, one needs three essential prerequisites to become actually free of the human condition.

• A burning discontent with life as it is
• A stubborn bloody-mindedness not to stop until you find an experiential answer – as opposed to an intellectual or feeling answer.
• The memory of a pure consciousness experience, a temporary experience of ‘self’-lessness, whereby the utter peace, purity and perfection of the actual physical universe is sensate-only experienced – to act as one’s burning ambition in life.

You really got me thinking, through Andrew’s teaching I’m (or I was ... don’t know anymore) convinced that there is a god, higher consciousness or whatever we want to call it, something bigger than ourselves. But now I’m leaning more towards letting it be a total mystery, there might be or there might not be a god. So let us concentrate ONLY on that we can work with, namely human existence on this earth. But I guess the trick is that we have to be able to see every aspect of humanity as it is before real change is possible ... and I suppose that’s what you’re doing in your theory (or fact) of the human basic instincts.

In my experience, it is essential to have at least a glimpse of humanity from the outside, as it were. In a pure consciousness experiences it was as though I had stepped out from the real world, complete with all its grim reality and spiritual fantasies, and emerged into the actual world.

One particular experience I remember well was bought on by an intense period of contemplation about the human condition – and my role in it. During this time, I remember driving up the escarpment that encircles the lush semi-tropical coastal plain where I live. I stopped and looked out at the edge of the greenery, where a seemingly endless ribbon of white sand neatly bordered it from the azure ocean. Overhead great mounds of fluffy white clouds sailed by in the blue of the sky. Right in the foreground stood a group of majestic pines towering some thirty meters tall. I was struck by the vastness, the stillness and the perfection of this planet, the extraordinariness of it all, but ... and the ‘but’ are human beings! Human beings who persist in fighting and killing each other and can’t live together in peace and harmony.

It was one of those moments that forced me to do something about myself, for I was one of those 6 billion people.

*

But on the other hand ... there IS a lot of crap in the spiritual scene, people are far too naive and gullible ... that’s why the likes of you are needed, Peter, someone to rock the boat so to speak ... or in this case sink it to the bottom ... haha ...

Yes, a substantial part of actualism – the process by which it is possible to become actually free from the human condition – involves a clear-eyed look at both real-world and spiritual-world beliefs, morals, ethics, values, ideals, concepts, theories, philosophies, practices, etc. But one only looks at what others are doing, and feeling, as a way of questioning these behaviours and feelings within one’s own psyche.

After all, it is essential to fully take on board the fact that the only person you can change is you.

One of the substantial rewards for sticking my neck out, and rocking my boat, is that I am able to check what feelings, emotions and passions I encounter, name them and begin an investigation aimed at getting answers. This way I see the human condition in action in me and thus I am forced to do something about them

Concern and hope may push or pull ‘me’ towards an AF ‘belief system’ and it binds while ‘I’, (and others), persist in being superior, inferior, unequal instinct-ridden or problem-ridden.

Is this you writing this or is this ‘I’ writing this? I’m not being clever here but are you, No 13, saying you are persisting ‘in being superior, inferior, unequal instinct-ridden or problem-ridden’? If you are, why would you want to do this? Why would you not want to change? If you can see this – be mindful of it, to use your term – then how can you not do something about it. Not only for you, but for those around you? The question is – do you want to be free of the Human Condition of malice and sorrow and are you willing to pay the price?

We are simply talking of being happy and harmless, nothing more – and nothing less.

I like the AF glossary very much by the way.

A glossary usually comes at the end of a book to elucidate the terms used in the book, which is why I wrote it. To read the glossary is not the same as reading the book, and Richard’s Journal is still the authoritative document on Actual Freedom. The glossary was always meant as a supplement, not a stand-alone, for as a stand-alone it makes no sense.

But I like it that you find it useful. The road out of the spiritual world is not an easy one for it is coated with feel-good treacle, ‘self’-indulgent twaddle and deceitful cunning which is why I was moved to write the glossary to drive a wedge between spiritual dreams and belief – and actuality and fact.

I am not discouraging you from feeling good, or feeling that your life is getting better. This is indeed the point of running the question ‘how am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’ The aim is always to actually remove the impediment that is preventing one from being happy and harmless now, and then get back to being happy and harmless as quickly as possible.

But one does need to keep one’s feet on the ground, which is where actuality, sensual-ness and facts are essential, lest yet another head-in-the-clouds saviour of mankind is born-again.

Actual Freedom is, after all, a down-to-earth freedom.

The means of facilitating this investigation into one’s psyche is contemplation. ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’ is the question to run. Whatever is preventing one from being happy or harmless is the issue to contemplate upon and away you go on an inner journey into beliefs, morals, ethics, feelings and finally instinctual passions. When you have removed one impediment then the next one pops up. Just do them one at a time and then back to experiencing the world as it is. This is the diametric opposite to meditation where the journey ‘in’ is an escape into an inner world as a solace and succour from having to experience and live in the world as it is.

The other point is that the experience of Virtual Freedom is essential – the on-going experience of the world as it is, as being 99.9% perfect. Being able to go to bed at night honestly saying one has had an almost perfect day. One does not fool oneself and this is where pure intent comes in – the refusal to settle for second-best, the best being the impeccable benchmark of the PCE. This period of Virtual Freedom gives one the confidence to abandon the real world and proceed with impunity to the actual world without being instinctually seduced into escaping from the world as it is, and adopting some God-like identity.

Thought I would put on to the list a report of what we were talking of the other day, so the words are not lost and the experience can be shared with the other intrepid investigators into this new freedom.

I was wondering where to start, but I might try a little summary of the stages I have experienced so far on the journey to freedom.

It’s been two years now since we met and about 9 months since I finished writing my journal. If I could put it into phases I would say that the first 12 months were essentially making sense of being a normal human being, simultaneously ridding myself of malice and sorrow, as much as is possible, while still having a ‘self’ inside this body. The very act of making sense of the facts of the Human Condition as opposed to the beliefs forces one to change, to eliminate what is essentially learned and societal re-enforced behaviour.

This first process had two components – an intellectual understanding such that the fact of being a human being made sense, and this involved a rigorous, challenging, exciting and revealing investigation into the Human Condition and its bedrock of Ancient Wisdom. This is essentially the understanding of the non-spiritual nature of Actual Freedom. The second component was the practical day to day stuff (and what else is there anyway?) of what it is to be a human being – the theory into practice if you like. The experience that Actual Freedom is not a philosophy, not a theory, but a down-to-earth experience as a flesh and blood body. In my case this was demonstrated in the delights of living with a woman in peace, harmony and equity and the resultant revealing of the sheer fun of sex – the fire test, the proof of the pudding, if you like. If you can’t live with someone in peace then there is no hope for anyone else. One’s life gets better and better to the point of a sublime ease, carefree-ness and delight that was inconceivable 2 years ago. The actual experience is of coming to one’s senses. I have always had a cautious reluctance to state that there is a definable state called Virtual Freedom whereby one is virtually free of the Human Condition – a 99% state or the best one can do while still remaining a ‘self’.

I think that the point is that this state is not irreversible – unless there is a pure intent and a desire to evince the best possible one could waver. Pure intent is such a simple term I sometimes find it strange that people have difficulty with it. It simply means I will be the best I can, and if one has had a peak experience then the best is glaringly obvious. So, throwing my caution to the wind – I would say that the last 12 months have been a stage of Virtual Freedom – the use of capital letters to indicate a definable state only. The next phase is to an Actual Freedom – the complete extinction of the psychological and psychic entity, in short the ‘me’ who I think and feel I am. There is no doubt that I am travelling a different path to the one you travelled, one that you have carefully mapped and explored with your companion at the time. Because of this your experiences of becoming Enlightened and clawing your way out are not relevant to my experiences. But the end result and aim is the same – an actual freedom from the Human Condition – a definitive and decisive release from, and extinction of, the alien entity inside this body. In trying to make sense of my different path and your two-stage extinction, I have had a cautious approach as the Rock of Enlightenment always looms large. Having seen and experienced the power-crazed God-men in action and the willingness of their desperate followers to surrender to them and worship them has proved a valuable, if sobering, experience. The other part is having experienced the seduction of an Altered State of Consciousness. As a consequence I have been well warned and well prepared.

Despite the fact of having had a substantial peak experience (PCE) some 15 years ago and a substantial experience of Divine Love (ASC) some 3 years ago there was still a piece missing. It all seemed to involve either a looking back into my past or sideways to your experiences and trying to draw a parallel. The other nagging issue was a feeling of the unfairness or even perversity of being born into the Human Condition, of being who I thought and felt I was, finding out it was a pretty rotten mess and then having to die, or self-immolate in order to be free. To do that in order to become Enlightened is one thing as one gets to have worshipping disciples, psychic power, fame and wealth – ‘Money for nothing and your chicks for free’ as I cheekily put it. Becoming God seems a not to bad reward for the effort involved – well on the face of it anyway, as long as you are not too discriminating. Of course, once you see the down-sides of Enlightenment, it very rapidly loses appeal – but at least ‘I’ am around to enjoy it.

But self-immolation, extinction, the end of me? And even the memory of a peak experience in the past and an intellectual clarity of the whole Human Condition including the delusion and appalling consequences still seemed to leave a slight gap, a wee doubt. Virtual Freedom had brought me to a position where it became obvious that ‘I’ could do no more to clean myself up, I seemingly had done all that ‘I’ could. Something more was needed, and – loh and behold – it came along.

The other morning a peak experience snuck up on me – after a particularly good ‘romp’ with Vineeto. It was one of particular clarity marked by a complete absence of any sense of ‘self’ or ‘being’ within my body. All was perfect and pure with a magical intensity that was palpable. Not merely static – a sense of the whole universe happening at this moment with a vibrancy that was sensately experienced.

I’ve had the ‘PCEs’ Richard describes. Quite a few of them actually, this past year especially. Have seen in them that, in spite of what I usually believe, there is nothing to fear in the universe, that it is utterly and completely friendly, including death. And I have also recently realized that the only place in the world where there is cruelty – fear – and sadness is within myself. But I have a lot of both, especially the sadness. They are what got me looking.

Is there something else to be done besides pay attention to them? How is this identity dismantled?

In my experience, becoming curious, will lead to fascination, will lead to obsession, will be aided by serendipitous discoveries, will lead to the systematic dismantling to such an extent that one day the whole lot will collapse like a pack of cards. At the moment with me the whole lot is trembling and shaking. ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’ is a far bigger and far more challenging question than ‘Why am ‘I’ here?’ or ‘What happens after death?’

*

And cheers to you. Thanks for the note. I was laughing out loud as I read down through it. Look, I can occasionally be open minded, not often, it usually takes pain, but I’m fortunate to have some, so maybe I’m willing. I need something along the lines of a direct demonstration of what you guys are talking about. Not theory. Something a scientist can relate to. Can we do an experiment? I’ll be a fully willing lab rat, try the medicine myself and share the results. I’ve done experiments with myself before. This can be another. But I’m an ignorant lab rat and I need instructions, preferably from the doctor who knows about the medicine, to help design the experiment, because I don’t know about this medicine. Is it possible for you to show me an example of this medicine you are talking about, so I can see how it works for myself and make it into something I don’t have to believe in?

I think we should take this slowly enough to make it quite clear, if this is possible.

Well, you are interested in an experiment on yourself. I find it a bit strange as so far you all you seem to be doing is objecting to the diagnosis as to what is wrong, sing the praises of the existing remedies despite their failures or deny that there is even a problem in the first place. Richard has about 300,000 words on his web-site and rising daily, Vineeto and I deliberately wrote our ‘case studies’ of the down-to-earth applications, Alan is writing of his process and you are asking what to do. I find it harder to make it more clear but then again that is a little something to do each time I write. I can’t do more than that – it’s your disease and you get to be the doctor. That’s the way it is when you stop believing in Gods or following Gurus. You get all of the fun and end up beholden to no-one, i.e. FREE. Nobody can clean you up but you. All I can say is, in my experience it works.

I’m reminded of the lid of the Cabot’s paint tins which has a note that says ‘if all else fails read the instructions’. Maybe read some of the writings again and rather than try and pick fault, see if any things make sense to you and try starting there. You may already have an idea of what you would like to be free of in your life.

How is it possible for all the bad stuff to go, those bad emotions etc., how can they go for good?

I assume from your posts that you have had a good grounding in the awareness-watching business, which is a reasonable starting point. You also seem interested in the possibility of getting rid of at least some of the emotions i.e. the bad ones. One of the problems usually with the traditional awareness approach is that one can spread oneself a bit thin on the ground and not zero in on a particular issue. It makes good sense to pick one issue out of the bundle of feelings and emotions that assail one every day. Anger is an excellent starting point as it is an easily recognised and strongly felt emotion. The next trick is to pick a situation that causes you to be angry. It could be when driving your car, an excellent time for self-observation. The aim would then be not to get angry with other drivers, pedestrians, traffic jams, slow drivers, red lights, etc. To be aware of when anger arises, with the aim of not letting anger ruin your happiness while driving the car. For me, I particularly remember someone at work who could raise my heckles and ruin my happiness for hours afterwards. I made it my mission for a few weeks not to let him get at me. Not to get angry, not to let anyone get me angry. Not to let the bugger get me down! It wasn’t him personally – it could have been anyone or any situation. And anger itself went. I suggest giving it a go in an actual situation, give it a try.

What removes them?

You, there is no one else who is as vitally interested in your happiness as you ... and there is no God to do it.

Is it the removal of the verbal belief or is it some times more the removal of an actual false impression about something ie. the removal of an impression that is stimulated under a certain condition but which has no real substance apart from itself and if so why keep it?

No, in the example I gave above anger is anger and it not only ruins your day but it will probably do no good to the person you get angry with.

What is left? Yes, that is certainly a concern.

From my experience – two things, both positive. One is a little bit less of ‘No. 3’. ‘No. 3, the angry one’ will have disappeared. Second that means that there is more possibility of and more opportunity for being happy and harmless. It is but the simple putting into practice of ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’ In this case it is while driving the car, driver cuts in on you, flash of anger, reported and noted, back to being happy. Next time driver breaks sharply in front, got it even quicker then, even quicker back to being happy and eventually ... ‘well that was a pretty silly thing he did, good thing he missed me ... what a lovely day it is to be driving a car ... such a good thing, this being alive business ... funny ... I used to get really angry about things like that...’

*

So what do you do with the other feelings that arise? Do you mean you don’t attempt to go into them and find out more?

I find that I can best concentrate on, and contemplate upon only one thing at a time. I can drive a car while thinking or talking but as far as tasks requiring my full attention and awareness – I do one at a time. So for me at the start, rather than try to spread myself thin by trying to being aware of hundreds of feelings, reactions, doubts, thoughts, emotions I zeroed in on one to study in detail. I always found that there was one particular pertinent issue at any one time that was spoiling my happiness. It was usually the issue that I was avoiding, that bought up most fear, or dominated my thoughts most. This was then the one to ‘tackle’, the one to dig in to, talk over, focus on, contemplate upon, etc., but it was usually obvious.

Indeed there are the occasional pop up thoughts of fear, but that is not my main problem. Mine is one of ‘trying’, the effort of thought rather than the effort to be aware. This though is an intermittent fault only, with the help of the Question.

‘The effort of thought rather than the effort to be aware’ has got me stumped a bit. How I would have described myself 2 years ago is that I had constant turmoil and churning in my head. This is probably due to being a male, and women may well describe it more as churning in the heart. When I met Richard my aim was firmly established to reduce and eventually eliminate this churning to the point where I experienced life as I had in the PCE – free of this neurosis. By running the simple ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’ I was able to isolate and investigate the particular issue that was the cause of my not being happy at the time. With that one dealt with, up popped the next one and away I went again – success breading success.

As for the ‘help of the Question’, again I’m at a bit of a loss as to what you mean. I stopped having a big Question, rolled up my sleeves and concentrated on the little questions such as why was I irritated by what Vineeto was doing, what was the source of that, why did that feeling come up, what was that feeling? I brought the question back to something I could do about myself. The question was not just for the sake of questioning but the question was to investigate in order to find and discover an answer. In the discovering of the answer, the facts as opposed to the beliefs, a small but significant change resulted – I was more happy and more harmless. T’is of such little steps that Virtual Freedom is obtained. This is, after all, a practical method to become free of the Human Condition – it is not a philosophy.

Well, I did it the opposite way. I became vitally interested in ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’ And if that meant I was feeling angry, sad, melancholy, lacklustre, depressed, then I would track back to find out what it was that bought on that feeling. What was said, what happened, when did it happen? I wanted to understand feelings, their source, how they worked, what caused them to kick in, etc. Only by understanding them, could I begin to get free of their insidious grip. I also knew that until I was rid of the source of feelings entirely – ‘me’ – I would have to live with them. So best to understand them and best to aim for the felicitous ones – and feeling happy and feeling harmless are surely the best one can aim for of the feelings.

The other point is that conducting an active investigation into one’s very psyche is a way of neither expressing nor avoiding feelings – one simply waits with interest and fascination for the next feeling to turn up to be investigated. The very act of observation, investigation, contemplation, understanding and insight is the only way I, this flesh and blood body, can rid myself of the psychic and psychological entity that prevents my sensible, sensate experiencing of the infinitude of the actual world.

So, my experience is to become fascinated with what you are feeling and why you are feeling it. It can be scary business to investigate feelings and emotions, for the Human Condition is an animal instinctual condition but the investigation is actually liberating.

It could be useful to you, at this stage, to read my journal. I’m not flogging my book to sell as I’ve put it on the web-site in total, but it is, to date, the most complete record of the actual process of investigating feelings that has been written. It’s one person’s journey to a Virtual Freedom from malice and sorrow – the stage you have to get to before you can consistently and reliably begin to sensate-only experience this moment of time – not as a vivid exception as in a PCE, but as an everyday ‘normal’ experience. You will see from my journal that the investigation into feelings is not a passive affair, not a mere intellectual understanding, but a life-changing experience. Once started with gusto you will never be the same again. That was the very reason I started – I knew I was ‘as mad’ and ‘as bad’ as everyone else and I wanted to be free of the Human Condition – the lot.

I do like it when anyone begins to look at feelings and the role they play in preventing we humans from being happy and harmless. Your discovery that you experience life by feeling only is crucial, and what you do with the discovery is vital to your being permanently happy and harmless.

In order to save you from being bothered, mad, surprised, alarmed and obviously confused about what we are saying it would be appreciated if you would read a bit so you at least have a basic understanding of what it is that we are talking about. A good deal of the million or so words written about Actual Freedom are in answer to objections to being happy and harmless.

The Actual Freedom mailing list has been established as a forum for those with a genuine interest in being free of malice and sorrow and assumes they at least have some degree of reading and investigation. To this very purpose Vineeto is currently changing our web-site into being topic-oriented with associated links to a glossary, writings and relevant correspondence from Richard, Peter and Vineeto. We are setting this up deliberately in order to allow quick appraisal, personal preference and in-depth investigation.

Most spiritual seekers seem either to want an easy path to instant Enlightenment or when that fails, to ‘hang around’ the spiritual scene to absorb a bit of Feel-Good-energy. The ‘all or nothing’ approach as Richard recently said. Given that only .0001% get it ‘all’ and become Enlightened that makes the rest the ones who settle for nothing as they become devotees, worshipers, followers, true and faithful believers, at the slave-end of the Master-disciple business.

Actual Freedom is about getting off your bum, or out of the lotus position, and doing something to become free of malice and sorrow. You, yourself, as-you-are-now, can get to the 99% stage, a virtual freedom – this is factually validated by the experience of the handful of people who are writing of their successes on this list. The next quantum leap to the state of being actually free of the Human Condition has yet to be actualised in anybody other than Richard. That it is possible in others is clearly evidenced by the PCE, an experience very common to humans whereby the psychological and psychic entity is in temporary absence or abeyance. We all have had a glimpse of our destiny – a glimpse of an actual freedom, a glimpse of the actual world. The combination of the PCEs I have experienced and the continuous, superb, so-near-to perfect life of Virtual Freedom means that I now know permanent actual freedom is imminently inevitable... and that ‘I’ will never experience it.

There, I’ve blown it again. Just when I said I have nothing to say. The spiritual people accuse me of being a ‘Born Again Christian’ or a ‘Jehovah’s Witness’ which I find cute. One shouldn’t be enthusiastic ... or they will try cut you down to size!

In seeing my frustration I did my usual thing and kicked back on the couch and contemplated upon my discovery. A curious thing happens when one ‘steps aside’ as it were and lets the brain do its brain thing – apperceptive awareness kicks in. This is not what gets you to Virtual Freedom – that’s all ‘my’ doing – tough, bloody-minded, gritty, determined wilful effort, as I’ve documented. Dismantling one’s own social identity is not a kicking back – it’s the bit ‘I’ actively do, and with gusto.

But I digress a bit from my couch contemplating. Now it is not ‘me’ doing the thinking as it was in those early days of getting to a Virtual Freedom, but now it is that thinking happens by itself. This thinking happening by itself can produce some stunning results, and in this case I started with frustration. My frustration at you was instantly recognized as ‘my’ frustration – I am no novice at this game. The shifty-ness of resorting to blaming the other for what is in me was an observation I made very early on the path to Virtual Freedom. So the frustration was clearly at ‘my’ still not getting it, only triggered by my interaction with you. So, I mused over that one for a while and it all slid a bit deeper to the discovery of a very deep-set frustration – not about any issue in particular, not even about not getting ‘it’. At this deeper level it was not a thought – it was not in my head. It was also not a feeling. A feeling is always about something, triggered by something, in my experience. The frustration I had expressed, however covert or subtly, was only a feeling. This ‘next level down’ was the emotional level and I recognized that beneath the feeling of frustration was the emotion of anger. Sitting with it for about 10 minutes or so, I then was able to slide to the next level down where I could recognize the instinctual passion that is the very source of anger. This is not ‘located’ in the head and recognized as a thought or felt as a feeling – it was dispassionately observed purely as a physical sensation in the chest area. I could therefore experience this anger more clearly than one normally experiences jealousy, love or grief, whereby one is possessed or consumed by a powerful emotion and thus rendered incapable of being aware of what is going on.

This bare awareness enabled me to experience the chemicals in action – to sensately experience ‘me’ at my very core. This is where ‘I’ dare not look and cannot experience, for this is the territory of primordial fear and dread, anger and violence – the proverbial hell. This is what the spiritualists are avoiding in their meditative practices of aiming for a transcendental bliss. At this fundamental instinctual level, ‘I’ operate solely at an automatic-response mode. This is where the genetic animal programming of fear – ‘what can eat me?’ and aggression – ‘what can I eat?’ operates. In we humans, this is experienced as an instinctual fear of ‘dangerous’ animals and all other humans, so one never lets one’s guard down given that anyone can literally stab you in the back at any time. This programming is also experienced as an instinctual aggression because you know you need to ‘get in first’ or you are dead meat. In the last of the primitive cannibal tribes to be studied in New Guinea in the middle of this century, aggression between tribes was known as ‘Trouble-Fight’ or ‘Pay-back’ – get in first or get revenge later.

Of course, this is 1999 and I live in a reasonably safe place but this instinctual genetic program is ‘me’ at my core. ‘I’ am rotten through and through as in kill or be killed. LeDoux’s research politely labels this the ‘fight or flight’ response. My experience is that it is more accurate to call it the ‘kill or be killed’ response.

I would have assumed that anyone on this list was here because they had an interest in the subject matter being discussed here – how to actualize a personal peace on earth and thereby offer oneself as proof that peace on earth is possible, in this lifetime, as a flesh and blood human being and not in some spurious afterlife. As a part of this discussion it is pertinent to undertake a clear-eyed, intelligent assessment of one’s own efforts to date and the efforts of billions of one’s fellow human beings. To look at the efforts to date and acknowledge their failings to bring anything remotely resembling peace on earth.

To undertake this investigation requires naiveté not cynicism, determination not fatalism, bloody-mindedness not defeatism, confidence not pessimism, a stubborn refusal to settle for second best not resignation, and a burning discontentment with the Human Condition of malice and sorrow not a self-centred complacency. If you are content with your life as it is, if your spiritual pursuits have bought you peace, happiness and freedom or if you are certain they will, then this discussion list is clearly not for you.

But the first thing one needs to do is find out whether you have been ‘sold a dummy’, or not. That was my first reaction to the idea that there is a third alternative to staying ‘normal’ or becoming ‘spiritual’ – “Does that mean I have been sold a dummy?” But the only way to know that was to find out for myself. And to undertake that investigation is to go against one’s instinctual programming that binds one to being a member of the herd called Humanity.

The return for the effort is peace, on earth, in this lifetime, as this flesh and blood body. Peace is a simple, unambiguous term meaning actually free of malice and sorrow.

The Human Condition – the program in the brain that says this is how it is to be a human being – does take a lot of stubborn questioning, and a lot of deleting, in order to get one’s common sense or innate intelligence operating for the first time. But once it is fired up and begins to function the fun begins – it proves unstoppable, and then the sparks start flying and the fun begins as one becomes incrementally free of belief, superstition, morals, ethics, values and psittacisms. This incremental freedom from sorrow and malice results in increasing experiences of delight and peace, and one soon finds oneself willing raising the bar ...again ... and again.

There are no limits in Actual Freedom.

It didn’t happen while asking ‘how do I experience being here’, this question led me into discrimination instead of acceptance, it led me into searching instead of finding, it led me into judging good or bad and into making choices and to make up my mind about what I want or not.

For me, running the question ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’ led to discrimination – was there anything that was preventing my happiness in this moment, the only moment that I can experience being alive? Then I wanted to find out what feeling or emotion was there (sad, angry, bored, etc.), why it was there in me and what had caused it to be there ... so as to eventually eliminate it ... so I had more happiness in my life. I refused to accept being angry at others, and sad for myself.

It was a continuous search-and-destroy mission and once I got to the very root of a feeling I found that I could eliminate it – or rather it disappeared. My searching led me to ‘finding’ and fixing each time again. I was getting tangible results for my efforts. I threw out moral and ethical judgements and went for judging on the basis of silly and sensible, and I made many choices on that basis with the aim of becoming more happy and more harmless.

But the first thing I had to do was – I had to make up my mind as to what I wanted to do with my life.

Asking ‘what am I’ freed me of all this, now for the first time in my life I feel free and centred and in this way everything is totally perfect. How could it not be? Only the mind can delude us.

And only our intelligence can save us from our passions and instinctual emotions of fear and aggression. Only our native intelligence and common sense – the human brain freed of any psychological and psychic entity whatsoever – can free us of the illusion of ‘Humanity’ and the delusion of ‘Divinity’.

If you are happy with what is, for you in the world as it is, then excellent!

Actual Freedom is clearly not your thing, and fair enough.

To even consider a journey into yourself to free yourself of the Human Condition requires a burning discontent with life as it is – both for yourself and for your fellow human beings.

It also requires a pioneering spirit to challenge Ancient Wisdom and the set-in-concrete mother of all beliefs – that ‘you can’t change Human Nature’.

Not to mention a good dose of bloody-mindedness, a touch of rebel, a sprinkle of panache and a dash of daring.

So, it’s bye from me, I’ve enjoyed our posts.

What motivates you to spend so much time writing to all these people here?

I have posted several replies in the past, which you may have missed in your deleting –

‘I always wanted to be able to discuss these matters in my spirit-ual years, to get down to the bare bones of things. To be able to question absolutely everything and anything, the lot, without fear of getting my head snapped off, being sent to Coventry, or told I was being ‘negative’. To be able to ask, scrutinize and get a straight answer.

And to be able to look at things without the typical straight-jacket of ... ‘right or wrong’, ...’good or bad’. To sort fact from fiction. To really find out what it is to be a human being. To be able to fully live as a human being on this paradisiacal planet ... free of malice and sorrow, happy and harmless, innocent and pure.

As you can probably tell I am enjoying this discussion immensely. This is pioneering stuff and it’s happening right now as I type these words. Nothing is more thrilling than this ... being here, doing what is happening. To be actually typing these words and not knowing what I am going to say next...

The thing, of course, is that this is not anything personal that we are saying. We are talking about an actual freedom from the Human Condition, a condition that afflicts all humans. This freedom is available for everyone although it is clear that not everyone will want to take it on.’

In reply to some of your thoughts – some of my thoughts and discoveries –

Some of my thoughts:

1. Your method is not new, but I admit it is great. It is not popular because it requires guts. To examine your past as it influences your present. To ruthlessly examine all opinions, belief pattern, emotions, addictions, fears, manipulations, imaginations, devotions, inferiority complexes in light of a pure, pristine experience of perfection of this life at this moment. One needs to have a courage to stand alone.

At first I thought there was nothing new about running the question ‘how am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’ until it dawned on me one day that when I was not feeling good then I had something to look at immediately, something to investigate, some feeling that was the cause of my unhappiness. It gave me something to do! I had some work to do – to ‘get down and get dirty’, go digging around in there. Look in all those corners I dared not look at before. Gather some courage and look into both the ‘good’ feelings ‘I’ hold so dear and the ‘bad’ ones lurking underneath. After all we only need love and compassion because we feel malice and sorrow – resentment and despair.

The answer lies in eliminating both the ‘good’ and the bad’ feelings – for we only need the good ones because we have the bad ones.

It soon became obvious that to be happy and harmless meant that all sorrow and malice had to be eliminated in me – not merely covered over by ‘good’ feelings in order to evince an actual freedom from malice and sorrow rather than a synthetic one.

But do see it as the Human Condition – as a ‘bummer of a birthmark’ – it’s just the way we humans have been programmed with beliefs and instincts. That way it becomes delicious fun and a thrilling journey through the human psyche. And it all just goes on in your head anyway. Oft times I would think I’m going mad as ‘I’ was actively dismantling my own self.

But then I’d find myself making coffee and toast the next morning ... and wondering what’s next?

Another story is that Zen practitioners might become too addicted to the practice itself that is just supposed to train them to become one’s senses. It is like, first you go to school, but you should not remain there forever. Right? I like Zen in its simples form, (wherever you go – there you are) I discard all sutras, temples etc as an burden. It is like, first you go to school, but you should not remain there forever. Right?

If you mean by ‘go to school’ the place where you were imbibed with the teachings that the teachers tell you – then that is where we all start.

We humans all come in to the world for the first time and others who have already been here before us tell us how it is.

This teaching begins with our parents and continues on at school and is reinforced by the peer group that we belong to.

When I studied architecture, others told me what it is to be an architect, how to do it and how the system worked. I found myself at the end of my studies, sitting in an office and not really knowing anything about what went on except what I had been taught. And I began to realise that the teachers who had taught me were full-time teachers and had very little experience in, or contact with, the real world outside of academia.

I soon got out of the office and on to building sites in order to find out what really went on. I began to realise that what I had been taught was only the established, accepted way of understanding and doing things. But the more I found out the more I could go with what worked for me, what was sensible, what was easy, what was simple, what was fair to all, what bought delight.

In the end I found the way that worked for me bore no resemblance to the way I was taught.

I eventually developed the intent and desire to apply the same approach to the rest of my life – find out what makes me happy and go for more of it, and, more scary, to eliminate the ‘me’ in me who takes offence, so that I am harmless and bingo ... I am here in a paradise that has been here all along. I just needed to question what everyone told me as the only way to be, and get rid of the animal instincts of fear and aggression.

And it was serendipitous to come across Richard because he is such an expert on Enlightenment and Actual Freedom. I could pick his brain, so to speak.

Get stuck in and check it out. Try it. See if it works. Go out and find a woman and try living together in peace and harmony. Try to eliminate anger in me. If that worked – what about jealousy? Wow! ...what’s the next thing to get free of ...

With Richard, it was so good to find someone who ‘walked the talk’ as No. 11 said the other day, rather than a teacher who was simply telling me the same old stuff that obviously didn’t work.

As kids we all went go to school to learn how things are and then we left school to hit the world. It took a while but eventually I came to use the opportunity of being a grown-up to find out for myself rather than simply continuing to believe and follow what I had been taught.

That’s all that I have been saying ... but everyone wants to go on believing what they have been taught by others. ‘This is the way it is and cannot be otherwise’. ‘The Truth cannot be challenged’ ... ‘this is the way we humans have been since time immemorial.’ ‘You can’t change Human Nature...’

Not much room for anything new with this lot ringing in your ears, hey.

I looked around and saw if this ‘humanity’ is the direct result of the teachings of school and church then maybe, just maybe everybody has got it 180 degrees wrong (as Richard happened to whisper in my ear one day).

I used anything I could to get free of the clutches of humanity – rebelliousness, refusal to surrender to anyone, refusal to give up, refusal to accept life as it is, bloody-mindedness, stubbornness as well as my naivety, sincerity, and integrity. Whatever I could use to get free I did, I broke all the spiritual rules and psittacisms, all the holy and sacred no-no’s, all the rules. Eventually all the feelings of a separate ‘me’ wilted and died in the face of the purity and perfection I found being the universe experiencing itself as a human being. That purity and perfection that I had experienced in my peak experience 12 years ago.

It beats any ‘feeling’ of ‘coming home’ or ‘being love’ by a country mile, because it is actual.

I’d better stop, it’s time for a coffee that Vineeto has just brewed ...

I thoroughly recommend not only leaving school, but questioning the teacher’s teachings as to whether they are bringing you what you want in your life.

If simple Zen is fine for you, zen zat school’s teachings must be working for you ...

I’m not just talking about leaving school but checking out what was taught.

Having met Richard and quizzed him extensively and read his writings, it became painfully and shockingly obvious that I had merely scratched the surface of becoming free. The first essential step was to question all that I had taken to be the Truth, a process that was to demolish entirely any pride I felt about ‘my’ achievements and realizations on the spiritual path. I discovered that it was necessary to eliminate the ‘self’ in its entirety – both ego and soul, both who ‘I’ thought I was and who ‘I’ felt I was.

The essential guiding principle is the pure consciousness experience or PCE. This experience is one that everybody has had in their lives wherein one directly experiences the innate perfection and purity of the physical universe free of any ‘self’ whatsoever. No ego and no soul sullies the unfiltered sensate experience of the actual. I have written of the PCE that I was able to recall, but it did take some digging to remember it, as it had no emotional imprint on my memory, such was its purity – and ‘I’ was not present as an emotional experiencer or interpreter.

The PCE is the essential reference point in the search for an Actual Freedom as opposed to merely a synthetic spiritual freedom or ASC. Even then the lure of the power and authority afforded by Enlightenment is a potent force to be battled with. The only danger that exists on the wide and wondrous path to actual freedom is that you may become Enlightened, but the path is becoming a little more well trodden now – a mere handful admittedly, but sufficient to provide written information to other intrepid travellers.

So the point of this is that it is essential to have an intent as to what it is you want to do with your ‘digging in’. What is your aim, what is your goal, what is it you want to do with your life? As with any activity or action in life an intent is essential. For me it was become the best I can be, to live in the state I experienced in the peak experience (PCE) as a constant 24 hrs. a day, on-going experience. To be the universe experiencing itself as a flesh and blood mortal body, free of any psychological and psychic entity whatsoever.

Thanks for your sharing here.

Thanks for your note.

The great thing about asking yourself ‘how am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’ is that it works.

Which is why I write about it with such aplomb, which others merely see as arrogance.

I was having lunch with friends the other day and explaining to a woman that this is the only moment that you can experience being alive, the past is but a memory and the future, when it happens... will be now. So this moment is the only moment that we can experience. If your aim in life is to be happy and in this moment you are sad, angry, bored or whatever, then it is essential to root around, find the cause, the trigger and see where you went ‘off the rails’.

Then get back to being happy now. As success comes you are able to get free of more of the feelings, emotions, moods, instinctual passions, etc that prevent you from becoming happy and harmless.

As I was talking to her face lit up, at the enormity of realizing and experiencing that there is only this moment to experience. All of a sudden she was here, fully occupied with the business of being alive. She was not ‘somewhere else’, there was no ‘guard up’, no ‘interpreter’ – and we were able to talk human being to human being – intimate, direct.

Since you seem to feel you have cornered the market on becoming happy and harmless by using Richard’s methods,

No, it is freely available to anyone who wishes to change to become happy and harmless. It is entirely up to them. I write precisely to make others aware of this new alternative. I am no one special, I had not a miraculous childhood, I am not specially blessed with great intelligence, or Divine realizations. I simply took an opportunity that serendipitously came my way and decided that as what I had been pursuing for 17 years had not freed me from malice and sorrow, I’d give it 100%.

which apparently involved only seeing what is actually right in front of your noses,

No, it involved an active and relentless period of investigation, contemplation and elimination of both the psychological and psychic entities that dwelled in my head and heart. The churning feelings and emotions that refused to let me, as this body, be here – to fully be the senses – to be these eyes seeing, these ears hearing, these fingers typing and this brain thinking – and to be aware that it is all happening in this very moment. Have you ever contemplated that this universe is happening in this very moment, that there is no master plan, no existence, no God? That there is a vast and actual freedom available right now for those intrepid enough to journey out of the real world and out of the spiritual world. For those willing enough to come to their senses both figuratively and literally.

I have just taken your lead and purchased my own computer... I want to write down my story... but I don’t know how it will unfold as yet... essentially it will be for myself... or should that be for the demise of myself...???

I do find it odd that I now write as a hobby given that it was never an interest, I was not a great reader of books and struggled with English at school. I always thought that those who wrote and taught were not necessarily those who did things well. I chose the doing things well path but it is delightful to mix the skills these days. I remember buying the computer and setting it up and wondering what I was doing and more particularly how and where to start. So I took a note pad out to the balcony with a cup of coffee and sat down .... ‘As I sit on the balcony of our small flat contemplating life, I am moved to start writing my story.’ ... and away it went.

It proved to be an amazing introspective process ... to see that all ‘I’ am is nothing more than the sum total of the beliefs, morals, ethics and psittacisms that I had been instilled with since birth. To see that all ‘I’ am is automaton from a social and genetic assembly line, both fettered and fated to be malicious and sorrowful, is such a blow to one’s pride. But naiveté and pure intent produces such an honesty that one finds oneself gladly ‘spilling the beans’, so to speak. To conduct a review of one’s history, one’s actions, thoughts and feelings in the light of being ensconced and trapped within the Human Condition is an extraordinary ‘inner’ journey that beats any other form of therapy hands down. One literally puts oneself under a microscope and amazing discoveries are there for the making – things one was avoiding, things one was ignorant of, things one dared not to look at, things no one had told you, things that were completely different from what you assumed and believed to be so. This is the very business of an actualist – it is only by making this ‘inner’ journey of discovery by oneself, for oneself, that one is able to become free from belief. You get to find out what you are as distinct from ‘who’ you think and feel yourself to be – the ‘who’ that others and blind nature have programmed you to be.

I particularly remember writing of my spiritual years and making discovery after discovery that literally shocked me to my core. Events that I had doubts or misgivings about at the time became crystal clear – insights and realizations came clanging along, one after the other. One that particularly sticks in my memory was of being with thousands of other disciples in a hall in India shouting ‘Yah Hoo’ to an empty chair where a dead God-man, ‘my’ Master, had sat. The Sacred Chair where He last sat – the symbolic equivalent of the Cross for Christians. I had had a peak experience at the time – a brief moment of startling clarity – and saw the stupidity and desperation of my situation, and of the whole Master-disciple business in general, and yet it still took me years to act on the realization and get out of spiritual world. It was only by meeting Richard that I finally garnered the confidence to go all the way.

Writing my Journal was excellent in aiding and abetting a Virtual Freedom. The realizations about, and knowledge of, the Human Condition in action, both in others and myself, was liberating to the extent that a virtual freedom from the Human Condition was possible. ‘One establishes a firm and stable base camp from which to launch the final assault’ was how I once described Virtual Freedom.

Methinks you are about to launch yourself on the adventure of a lifetime. It’s a fascinating business being a human being. It never ceases to amaze me.

When I met Richard I decided to devote my life to the eradication of the Human Condition within me. I wanted to live the experience of the PCE – the self-less state of purity and perfection – 24hrs. a day every day. So, I rolled up my sleeves and got stuck into the doing of it. It was so liberating to be able to do something about myself and my behaviour and not allow myself to be blindly led, not to believe what others told me was true, not to merely do what everyone else was doing simply because everyone else was doing it, not to keep doing things that didn’t work and not to be automatically driven and run by my instinctual passions. To become incrementally free of the Human Condition. The amazing thing about the doing of becoming actually free from malice and sorrow is that one becomes more happy and more harmless on the way. And one literally comes to one’s senses such that the senses do become heightened, one thinks less neurotic thoughts and feels less passionately driven by one’s instinctual drives. It is a win, win and more win situation on the path to actual freedom.

Now I only want 24 hour Actual Freedom.

Well, roll up your sleeves – there’s plenty to do! You are talking about ‘changing Human Nature’, but the best thing is – you only have to change yourself and nobody else. Changing everyone else is what most people aim for – a physical impossibility.

Changing only you is eminently achievable – and scientifically verified as possible. It is possible to re-program one’s own brain from all the social programming and it is possible to evince a mutational adaptation to eliminate the instinctual passions. A bit I wrote recently explains this very point –

‘The modern scientific empirical discoveries of neuro-biology and genetics, with regard to the human brain and how it functions, have revealed two very fascinating aspects –

1. That the brain is programmable in the same way a computer is programmable. The program is formed by physical connections or pathways between neurons, and this program is mostly formed after birth. These pathways (synapse) are also capable of being changed at any time. The old connection simply ‘dies’ for lack of use and a new one is formed.

2. That the human brain is also pre-programmed, via a genetic code, with a set of base or instinctual operating functions, located in the primitive brain system which causes automatic thoughtless passionate reactions, primarily those of fear, aggression, nurture and desire, to be transmitted via chemical messages to various parts of the body including the neo-cortex. Physiological alterations that could eliminate this crude programming, as a biological adaptation to changed circumstances, are well documented within the animal species.

• The first discovery accords with the practical experience of being able to radically change one’s social identity – the program instilled since birth that consists of the morals, ethics, values and psittacisms that make up our social identity. It stands to reason that a psychological identity that is malleable to radical change is also susceptible to total elimination.

• The second discovery accords with the practical possibility of eliminating one’s very ‘being’ – the emotive source of the instinctual survival passions of fear, aggression, nurture and desire. This blind and senseless survival program is now well and truly redundant for many human beings and can now be safely deleted, for the human species has not only survived … it is now beginning to flourish. Introduction to Actual Freedom, ‘Actual Freedom 1’

Keep up the great work.

I do like writing, which is all I do – it’s simply common sense to tell others what is now available. It’s more of a hobby than work and most of my writing has been my sorting out and reporting on experiences, understandings and facts discovered. Whenever I read any spiritual twaddle nowadays I am astounded as to its duplicity, confusion and blatant self-centredness, so it’s a joy to write of something as down to earth and non-spiritual as AF. Writing also is great exercise for the brain given that independent and clear thinking is stifled in childhood and school years by countless putdowns and strict regimentation and is even further strangled, admonished and literally demonized on the spiritual path. The other point is that I am not working to change anyone else – as I said, that is an impossibility and it is also a ‘self’-serving exercise. It’s good to be free of that one.

Have just been thinking about virtual freedom for the masses.../p>

There must be a far better way to publicly examine and share our experiences and ideas than this primitive type-written listbot method?

I for one can’t think of a better one at the moment. I can write heretically without the threat of physical retaliation or retribution, I can write to anyone, anywhere in the world, the medium is largely and remarkably un-censorable and anonymous. And the act of writing itself has multiple advantages. Writing avoids the traps of ‘energy’ transmission, authoritarianism or Guru-ism, it necessitates thinking and clearly expressing oneself – an experiential exercise in ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’ Writing on the list gives me a chance to get down in words what I have been thinking – rather than let the thoughts simply wander around uncommitted and unformed – in a way that makes sense to another. What we glibly call communication and fail at so often as human beings. As you can see I am a fan of writing – I find it a useful freedom tool and an excellent hobby.

Richard’s, Peter’s and Vineeto’s books are really excellent but limited to only a few who discover the AF Web-site. This is not only a personal revolution, is it?

Yes. It is only a personal revolution – which is what makes it 180 degrees different to every other so-called revolution which are really revolutions, as in go round and round in circles within the Human Condition. They are revolutions of the ‘if only everybody ...’ type, as in ‘if only everyone would stop fighting there would be peace on earth’ – the ideal of pacifism. Or the ‘if only everyone was of a higher consciousness, like me’ – the ideal of everyone following one God, that one God being Me-as-God or my God. AF is about changing No 13 – full stop. There may well be some flow on from that – certainly you will stop being sorrowful and stop being malicious to those around you. This is of incalculable benefit to those you come in contact with, not that they will necessarily see it that way.

If our brain washing was a mass insane socialization then the solution might be a mass deprogramming ... or at least a mass awareness of the alternative... to find a critical mass to speed up the sleeping masses?

I do like and encourage your enthusiasm. This same enthusiasm was what encouraged me to sell my car and buy a computer to write my journal. I wanted to let my friends know about AF, but the direct result was nil. What I quickly came to realize was that I was really writing for me – to make sense of the Human Condition, my role in it and how to become free of it. Any side benefits for others will be a bonus, but not the main event.

*

OK there are advantages to deprogramming, recording and examining, (in a very exact manner), how the words, experiences, beliefs and morals, ‘we’ the community often take for granted, are used for ‘ourselves’... but is it the best?

It is a curious thing when I contemplate my own path to freedom. I lived down the road from Richard and spent a good deal of time sitting in his living room, talking about life, the universe and what it is to be a human being. After about 9 months that stopped and I went off to write my journal – to get on with the business at hand, becoming free from the Human Condition. And most of that process has involved writing – it is the best form of ‘contemplation in action’ that I know of. It is this process that put in action the ‘deprogramming, recording and examining, (in a very exact manner), how the words, experiences, beliefs and morals’, which ‘I’ had taken for granted. For me it was the best method.

*

I know only too well this is not the main game ... ‘I’ save ‘myself’ first, but would not going public be more efficient if world peace is to be even considered as possible? It might even make ‘my’ lot easier?

By writing, I worked on doing both at the same time – ‘me’ first, and by writing of the process I knew it would be useful to others. It certainly made ‘my’ lot easier in that I painted myself into a corner – ‘I’ am continually forced to ‘put my money where my mouth is’, or ‘walk the talk’.

I unabashedly encourage you if you wish to ‘spread the word’ as I found out a great deal about the Human Condition in doing so and a great deal about myself in the process.

*

I also have the ‘sheep in the field’ theory. I see everyone as ‘sheep in a field’ busy doing what they have been told to do and programmed to do – fighting with each other and being miserable. One sheep manages to break free and finds that he can be happy and harmless but it does mean he is no longer a sheep and he is on his own. A few other sheep look over the fence and see that this sheep is having a good time on his own – he suffers not, quite the contrary he is having a bloody good time of it. So, a few more break out and as even more break out a momentum builds up, as it seems more and more silly to stay with the fighting, feuding miserable herd. But it’s always a free choice – whoever wants to break out can – you just have to be willing to pay the price of leaving the herd.

So my ‘breaking out’ means freedom for me and it encourages others by proving it is possible and adding to the numbers on the other side of the fence.

It’s a win, win and more win situation.

Perfect, in fact.

Like all analogies and metaphors, the story is a little flawed for one does not ‘escape’ from it all into a ‘next field’ but an actualist mixes, mingles, works with and lives with, one’s fellow human beings as-they-are in the world-as-it-is. The trick is to do this while being free of the shackles of feeling and being part of a group – of needing or having a social identity. The next level is to be free of being blindly, obsessively and instinctually driven to impassioned acts of fear, aggression, nurture and desire that give rise to malice and sorrow. For this to happen one needs to have lived a virtual freedom in the world-as-it-is with people-as-they-are in order to gain confidence that one can stop being a being who is instinctively on-guard or ready – and eager – to attack one’s fellow human beings.

This confidence, surety and experience also means, when the moment of self-immolation occurs, one will not instinctively grab for the delusion of freedom – feeling one is free rather than being actually free. The simple check is that those who merely feel themselves to be free are inevitable ‘up themselves’ and passionately feel themselves to be so, so superior that they truly believe themselves to be God-on-Earth. It is a ‘sincere’ and commonly held delusion, given credence both by Ancient Wisdom and impassioned feelings – but a delusion never the less.

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