Peter: Within the current limitations of the Human Condition,
happiness is a temporary state at best, totally dependent on fortuitous circumstances and, as such, is notoriously fickle. Some
people create an imaginary world of bliss and happiness which is based on transcending or denying the misery, violence and
suffering both in themselves and others. When one eliminates the opposites of good and evil, right and wrong, as well as the
animal instincts of fear and aggression, there remains an actual innocence, purity and contentment that far exceeds anything
promised by the spiritual and religious zealots. The direct, pure, sensate experience of the actual world, the perfection of
paradise only on earth, here, now is pretty hard to beat.
A personal description of becoming happy and harmless on the path to
Actual Freedom –
‘I became vitally interested in ‘How am I experiencing this
moment of being alive?’ And if that meant I was feeling angry, sad, melancholy, lacklustre, depressed, then I would track
back to find out what it was that bought on that feeling. What was said, what happened, when did it happen? I wanted to understand
feelings, their source, how they worked, what caused them to kick in, etc. Only by understanding them, could I begin to get free
of their insidious grip. I also knew that until I was rid of the source of feelings entirely – ‘me’ – I would have to live
with them. So best to understand them and best to aim for the felicitous ones – and feeling happy and feeling harmless are
surely the best one can aim for of the feelings.
For me the clue was in my aim to be happy and harmless. Even in
my spiritual days I wouldn’t have described myself as unhappy. Probably that I was reasonably happy, particularly when things
were going well. But what I had to admit, almost force myself to admit, was that I was not harmless. Well-meaning, yes, but when
push came to shove, or when things weren’t going my way – certainly not harmless.
My inability to live with a woman in peace and harmony was ample
testimony to this fact. When I read Richard’s journal for the first time it was the first chapters on ‘living together’, ‘sex’
and ‘gender’ that pricked up my ears. It was to prove to be my test of fire. I asked myself a simple question. ‘Could I live
with a woman in peace and harmony?’ The honest answer was ‘no’. The next question was – ‘Why not?’ The answer to that
question took me off on a 12 month investigation into the beliefs, emotions, passions instinctual programming, morals and ethics
of gender, sex and living together. As a man, I was fascinated to discover the extent that my social and biological programming
actively conspired to prevent anything remotely resembling intimacy – hence the need for the feeling of love to bridge the
chasm.
To be reasonably happy is relatively easy. To be totally harmless – to have no
instinctual fear or aggression – to be actually free of malice and sorrow is an evolutionary leap. The stakes are high in this
game … but so are the rewards.’
