The Actual Freedom Trust Mail Out‘Direct Route’Mail Out 3 Vineeto to Subscriber No. 5 Hi No. 5, SUBSCRIBER NO. 5: Is it necessary for a PCE to be happening prior to or during for the event to happen? VINEETO: No. In fact PCEs became more rare the closer I got to an actual freedom. In hindsight I think that I was so well aware of the identity, even in its most reclusive form that it could no longer go into abeyance in order for a full-blown PCE to occur. Instead I experienced more often the brilliance and delight of being here albeit fully aware of the thin veil that separated me from the actual world. In fact, in her period of being out-from-control Pamela commented on how much better this experience (of being out-from-control) was than her 5-months PCE and she explained that her PCE was a static experience while being out-from-control was exemplified by the progress of coming closer and closer to the actual world. I could not agree more. The intensity of my intent of becoming free rapidly increased in the last Regards, Vineeto
Mail Out 10 Vineeto to Subscriber No. 5 Hi No. 5, SUBSCRIBER NO. 5: Is it necessary for a PCE to be happening prior to or during for the event to happen? VINEETO: No. In fact PCEs became more rare the closer I got to an actual freedom. In hindsight I think that I was so well aware of the identity, even in its most reclusive form that it could no longer go into abeyance in order for a full-blown PCE to occur. Instead I experienced more often the brilliance and delight of being here albeit fully aware of the thin veil that separated me from the actual world. In fact, in her period of being out-from-control Pamela commented on how much better this experience (of being out-from-control) was than her 5-months PCE and she explained that her PCE was a static experience while being out-from-control was exemplified by the progress of coming closer and closer to the actual world. I could not agree more. The intensity of my intent of becoming free rapidly increased in the last SUBSCRIBER NO. 5: Thank you Vineeto, this is very well said and is exactly what I needed to know. It is very helpful. VINEETO: You are very welcome. SUBSCRIBER NO. 5: Could you specifically define out-from-control as opposed to a PCE? VINEETO: For general background information of how the term out-from-control is used in regards achieving an actual
freedom I recommend the recent posts of Richards on the Yahoo list, collected in the selected correspondence under the topic of out-from-control. (Richard, Selected Correspondence, Out-from-Control) My period of being out-from-control started when I (metaphorically speaking) traversed the ‘wall of fear’, described by
Richards as ‘a fear so vast as to best be called dread’ occurring at the ‘utter imminence’ at the gate to an actual freedom. (see
During this period, which for me personally lasted about To step out from control was a step deliberately taken, after sufficient clearing of the ground, so to speak, and after sufficiently ascertaining that what I wanted was indeed what I was aiming for (the genuine article of an actual freedom). Taking that step ‘I’ then willingly and with intent gave myself permission to allow the universe to pull me forward ever more strongly into the hitherto entirely unknown territory that lay between me and the ultimate goal. Many weird and whacky, as well as magical and wonderful events happened, which I won’t relate here because they were only relevant for the first two pioneers of the direct route to an actual freedom. What I can say, however is that being out-from-control, living on the actual freedom side of the wall of fear, enabled an ever-increasing near-apperceptive attentiveness that allowed me to breeze through one of the most intense panic attacks I ever experienced. Richard has described one of those panic attacks during his own out-from-control period as experiencing himself as if ‘sitting on a huge mountain of dread with his hands in his pocket whistling a tune’. I fully concur with his description as far as my own experience of this particular panic attack was concerned. Despite the
physical contractions and the racing of panicky thoughts there was an overall (ah, No. 3, here is that word again! The other observation from this period of being out-from-control worth sharing, I was able to make when ‘No. 2’ came for a visit. I remember clearly one day sitting in a circle of 5 friends, utterly relaxed despite the fact that I had never met one of them in person, and I noticed that I had no personal agenda whatsoever, no plan to stir the conversation into a particular direction, nothing to emphasize or hide, no self-centredness or favouritism, no shame, shyness, embarrassment, no power or drive – I was just being myself as I was. I sat in this group, as one of many, and my sole interest was that everyone present (including me as one of those present) enjoyed themselves/ obtained the maximum benefit from our meeting. I experienced myself as being unreservedly at ease and utterly benign and wasn’t driven to say anything unless it contributed to the overall quality of the conversation. Compared to being out-from-control, a PCE is an often brief, always temporary, glimpse into the actual world, very informative and marvellous in its own right, but a period whereby the identity is statically in abeyance and remains unchanged until it emerges again after the PCE has faded. During the period of being out-from-control the identity (being the ‘beer’ as opposed to being the in-control ‘doer’) gallops ahead closer and closer to her/his destiny. It is an absolutely thrilling, marvellous and wonderful time of adventure and if there has to be a blaze of glory in the overall story to an actual freedom, this is definitely IT. Cheers Vineeto PS: I am pleased to read on the Yahoo list that your ‘animosity toward Vineeto’ that had troubled you for years was
finally resolved
Mail Out 17 Vineeto to Subscriber No. 5 VINEETO: Hi No. 5, SUBSCRIBER NO. 5: Could you specifically define out-from-control as opposed to a pce? VINEETO: For general background information of how the term out-from-control is used in regards achieving an actual
freedom I recommend the recent posts of Richards on the Yahoo list, collected in the selected correspondence under the topic of out-from-control My period of being out-from-control started when I (metaphorically speaking) traversed the ‘wall of fear’, described by
Richards as ‘a fear so vast as to best be called dread’ occurring at the ‘utter imminence’ at the gate to an actual freedom. (see During this period, which for me personally lasted about To step out from control was a step deliberately taken, after sufficient clearing of the ground, so to speak, and after sufficiently ascertaining that what I wanted was indeed what I was aiming for (the genuine article of an actual freedom). Taking that step ‘I’ then willingly and with intent gave myself permission to allow the universe to pull me forward ever more strongly into the hitherto entirely unknown territory that lay between me and the ultimate goal. Many weird and whacky, as well as magical and wonderful events happened, which I won’t relate here because they were only relevant for the first two pioneers of the direct route to an actual freedom. What I can say, however is that being-out-from control, living on the actual freedom side of the wall of fear, enabled an ever-increasing apperceptive attentiveness that allowed me to breeze through one of the most intense panic attacks I ever experienced. Richard has described one of those panic attacks during his own out-from-control period as experiencing himself as if ‘sitting on a huge mountain of dread with his hands in his pocket whistling a tune’. I fully concur with his description as far as my own experience of this particular panic attack was concerned. Despite the physical contractions and the racing of panicky thoughts there was an overall (ah No. 3, here is that word again!) background awareness, aka apperceptive attentiveness, that all is well and that the material universe is indeed utterly benign. SUBSCRIBER NO. 5: I remember early on when I was having a discussion with Richard on the listening-l list I came in contact with dread and I now think that what happened was that I pulled back. I later blamed this pulling back on you and Peter but I now think it was my fear that caused me to pull back. VINEETO: This is excellent. I remember well your discussions with Richard in regards to fear/dread. I went back to them many times to find out how I could overcome my own fear/ dread. Two quotes from your conversations stood out for me –
and – Richard, List B, No. 39b 21 Nov 02a. * VINEETO: The other observation from this period of being out-from-control worth sharing, I was able to make when ‘No. 2’ came for a visit. I remember clearly one day sitting in a circle of 5 friends, utterly relaxed despite the fact that I had never met one of them in person, and I noticed that I had no personal agenda whatsoever, no plan to stir the conversation into a particular direction, nothing to emphasize or hide, no self-centredness or favouritism, no shame, shyness, embarrassment, no power or drive – I was just being myself as I was. I sat in this group, as one of many, and my sole interest was that everyone present (including me as one of those present) enjoyed themselves/ obtained the maximum benefit from our meeting. I experienced myself as being unreservedly at ease and utterly benign and wasn’t driven to say anything unless it contributed to the overall quality of the conversation. Compared to being out-from-control, a PCE is an often brief, always temporary, glimpse into the actual world, very informative and marvellous in its own right, but a period whereby the identity is statically in abeyance and remains unchanged until it emerges again after the PCE has faded. During the period of being out-from-control the identity (being the ‘beer’ as opposed to being the in-control ‘doer’) gallops ahead closer and closer to her/his destiny. It is an absolutely thrilling, marvellous and wonderful time of adventure and if there has to be a blaze of glory in the overall story to an actual freedom, this is definitely IT. PS: I am pleased to read on the Yahoo list that your ‘animosity toward Vineeto’ that had troubled you for years was
finally resolved SUBSCRIBER NO. 5: Yes I am very pleased about that also. That was just in time. It is quite a relief to get that monkey off my back. I can truly say now that all animosity toward you is gone. The call for others to join you, Richard and Peter in the actual world sooner rather than later has given me a sense of urgency. The question now is: Can I act on this sense of urgency before it languishes and then exactly how do I act on it from where I am to expedite this process sooner rather than later? VINEETO: The confidence gained from successfully overcoming animosity can serve you well in overcoming the fear/dread you talked about with Richard in 2001/2002. This fear, at the core of one’s being, cannot be overcome for one’s personal ‘peace of mind’ as that would only result in dissociation or even enlightenment. The way to overcome this fear, once and for all, in my experience, is to set one’s goal higher/ further than mere personal gain/personal peace and aim for that which will be for the benefit of another, someone close for instance, and ultimately for everyone. This overcoming of fear in turn will set in motion, as Richard put it: ‘the process of actualism (being out-from-control, being the ‘beer’ instead of the ‘doer’) wherein a momentum not of ‘my’ doing takes over and an inevitability sets in’. (Richard, List D, No.12, 9 Dec 2009a). Peter and I compared notes about our respective processes of becoming free and, making sense about it in hindsight, have determined what makes the process replicable for everyone. The key component for both of us had been caring, a caring as close to an actual caring as an identity can muster. To put it in context of my own experiences: Over the years I increasingly allowed myself to dare to care for my fellow human beings, and gave up dissociating, rationalizing and turning away from the plight of humanity, something which I had practiced as a kind of ‘self’-defence during my spiritual years. I instead gave myself permission to become acutely aware of their pain and suffering, which was also ‘my’ pain and suffering. This in turn increased the urgency to do something about the human condition in myself in order to set others free from my suffering and animosity with the added intention that after becoming actually free I would be able to show by example how others who are interested could do it for themselves. I had also entered a contract with Peter to look at everything that stood in the way of peace and harmony/ intimacy between us. I discovered that I needed to perceive him not as an extension of ‘me’ (as is usual in normal relationships), a projection of ‘my’ needs and preferences but as a fellow human being in his own right – and my caring for him meant whittling away my identity as much as possible in order to give him (and me) the intimacy we both yearned for. When I finally overcame the wall of fear it initiated the process of being out-from-control and the resulting intimacy with my fellow human beings (not only Peter but everyone) became stunningly available as I have described in my last post (see above). My own agenda had become so irrelevant that ‘I’ was able to take a back seat and let events take care of themselves. My only agenda then, the only thing that I wanted like I never wanted anything before, was to finish the process, to become actually free. The final clue was again about caring, a caring as close to an actual caring as an identity can muster. Only when I cared enough to give all of ‘me’ to another person, to give them what they want most, was I then ready to give it to the one I cared for most, the one I was closest to, and then I was able to leave all remnant concerns and inhibitions of my identity behind. And that’s what happened. Good hey. * Those who are concerned that my report be consistent with Richard’s process of becoming free might consider that Richard gave all of ‘himself’, an enlightened Being at the time, to Devika. She had challenged him to, instead of loving All, to instead love one person only and Richard took the challenge. He cared enough to dare – he fell in love with Devika and gave her all of ‘himself’. That total commitment proved to be the beginning of the end of ‘him’.
However, because Richard was not only fully enlightened/ lived the full spiritual delusion but was also the very first person to traverse the territory of Enlightenment into an Actual Freedom, the process of ‘his’ undoing took 11 years. Now it can be done by avoiding enlightenment and hence at a much faster pace – if one wants to. Cheers Vineeto
Mail Out 27 Vineeto to Subscriber No. 5 Hi No. 5, VINEETO: The other observation from this period of being out-from-control worth sharing, I was able to make when ‘No. 2’ came for a visit. I remember clearly one day sitting in a circle of 5 friends, utterly relaxed despite the fact that I had never met one of them in person, and I noticed that I had no personal agenda whatsoever, no plan to stir the conversation into a particular direction, nothing to emphasize or hide, no self-centredness or favouritism, no shame, shyness, embarrassment, no power or drive – I was just being myself as I was. I sat in this group, as one of many, and my sole interest was that everyone present (including me as one of those present) enjoyed themselves/ obtained the maximum benefit from our meeting. I experienced myself as being unreservedly at ease and utterly benign and wasn’t driven to say anything unless it contributed to the overall quality of the conversation. SUBSCRIBER NO. 5: I can’t recall having personal experience with being out-from-control but from what you have said it seems that caring for others as well as oneself is a way to access it. Is this correct? VINEETO: Yes. I found that in order to overcome my fear, which at the core is ‘my’ survival instinctual fear, I need a goal/ an intent that lies beyond ‘me’, beyond my ‘self’-interest and by caring for others as well as for myself I was able to bypass/ overcome/ ignore or traverse this fear. Caring for others, as well as for myself, is both the motivating factor for freeing one’s fellow human beings from your sorrow and your malice (which spread through vibes, words and action) and the way to overcome one’s personal fear by aiming for benefaction for this body, that body and everybody. * VINEETO: PS: I am pleased to read on the Yahoo list that your ‘animosity toward Vineeto’ that had troubled you for
years was finally resolved SUBSCRIBER NO. 5: Yes I am very pleased about that also. That was just in time. It is quite a relief to get that monkey off my back. I can truly say now that all animosity toward you is gone. The call for others to join you, Richard and Peter in the actual world sooner rather than later has given me a sense of urgency. The question now is: Can I act on this sense of urgency before it languishes and then exactly how do I act on it from where I am to expedite this process sooner rather than later? VINEETO: The confidence gained from successfully overcoming animosity can serve you well in overcoming the fear/dread you talked about with Richard in 2001/2002. SUBSCRIBER NO. 5: Yes, I understand now what Richard meant then when he said: ‘As such an occasion of profound dread is an opportune moment to plumb the depths of ‘being’ itself (‘me’ at the core of ‘my’ being) ...’. That’s what I was able to do with the animosity and I do feel confident, as you said, that I can do the same if the fear/dread comes up again. VINEETO: I came to understand that the fear/dread at the core of my ‘being’ is the core of the survival instinct of ‘me’ in operation – the very ‘me’ that stood in the way of the actual world becoming apparent. The numerous PCEs I had, as well as Richard’s reports of living in the actual world, had given me the confidence/ certainty that life free of ‘me’ was indeed my destiny which in turn gave me the motivation and ability to move beyond fear/dread into being out-from-control / into a different way of being. * VINEETO: (…) My only agenda then, the only thing that I wanted like I never wanted anything before, was to finish the process, to become actually free. The final clue was again about caring, a caring as close to an actual caring as an identity can muster. Only when I cared enough to give all of ‘me’ to another person, to give them what they want most, was I then ready to give it to the one I cared for most, the one I was closest to, and then I was able to leave all remnant concerns and inhibitions of my identity behind. And that’s what happened. Good hey. SUBSCRIBER NO. 5: I understand what you are saying about caring and intimacy. I’m not presently in a one on one relationship but I have noticed more of a caring and intimacy with others that I come in contact with, especially since my animosity toward you has dissolved and since talking with you. Actually, I have sensed an intimacy with you. Also, I have become much closer to my maid and I care for her more than before. VINEETO: This near-actual caring and near-actual intimacy that Peter and I are talking about is built upon the experience gained from being as harmless and happy as humanly possible, of course. Being harmless is not only being free of the intent to cause harm but also to be aware of the consequences of one’s actions in regard to other people. * VINEETO: Those who are concerned that my report be consistent with Richard’s process of becoming free might consider that Richard gave all of ‘himself’, an enlightened Being at the time, to Devika. She had challenged him to, instead of loving All, to instead love one person only and Richard took the challenge. He cared enough to dare – he fell in love with Devika and gave her all of ‘himself’. That total commitment proved to be the beginning of the end of ‘him’.
However, because Richard was not only fully enlightened/ lived the full spiritual delusion but was also the very first person to traverse the territory of Enlightenment into an Actual Freedom, the process of ‘his’ undoing took 11 years. Now it can be done by avoiding enlightenment and hence at a much faster pace – if one wants to. SUBSCRIBER NO. 5: I think I can go at a much faster pace now because of my newfound confidence to dissolve these issues at the core. VINEETO: You had previously posted a question to No. 3 ‘What is it about the ‘direct route’ that you don’t recommend?’ to the Yahoo list. Then, only 2 hours after you sent this post to Direct Route (if my calculation is right), you posted a list of objections/ doubts in relation to your question to No. 3 on the Yahoo list. I am wondering if this was merely a re-listing of No. 3’s objections/ doubts for his ‘benefit’ or if you personally share those objections? The reason I ask this is because if you are choosing to be swung by other people’s doubts, fears and suspicions this will quickly diminish your confidence, not to mention your urgency, which are so essential when you tackle ‘issues at the core’. These issues themselves can temporarily generate strong feelings and in those situations I always found it best to keep my own counsel and wait until the attack of detrimental feelings was over. As Richard has often pointed out, abandoning ‘humanity’ is the penultimate step to an actual freedom –
SUBSCRIBER NO. 5: PS: This caring that you talked about seems contagious. I am definitely caring more and it is making a big difference for me and for others that I come in contact with. Something is happening. I am closer and more intimate with people and they are very friendly and helpful to me. I don’t want to get carried away and call this actual caring yet but it seems that way. VINEETO: I found it essential to make a difference between feeling caring – the normal way people try to care while they often create havoc with the best of (feeling) intentions – and near-actual caring (only an actually free person has actual caring but as an identity ‘I’ can get pretty close to it, hence the term near-actual caring). The later consists of being considerate, giving practical help if needed, recognizing the other person’s needs as distinct from one’s own agenda (as an extension of one’s own ‘self’-interest), and having a general benevolent attitude towards one’s fellow human beings. It is a lovely way to relate to one’s fellow human beings! Cheers Vineeto Continued on Mailing List ‘D’: No. 17
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