Continued from Mailing List C, No 14

Welcome on the Freedom list. How are you. Do you still have so much snow that you can’t find your car in the driveway? What a story!

I have had a struggle on the Sannyas list about the religious issues (and in Pune also) for a long long time. I am so often on the ‘wrong’ side of the track as you may have noticed there. So I was very happy when Peter and Vineeto came on the list. It was so enlivening to examine these things! As far as having the guts to ruthlessly examine, well yes. What choice is there – to be blind to myself? and unhappy? furious or mute? No.

To rebel against religions and religious authorities is one thing, but up to now there hasn’t been much of a choice, hasn’t it? Exchanging Christianity for Eastern Religion, a 2000 year old Jesus against a living ‘Buddha’ has been all very fascinating in its time – but, as I said before, so many things didn’t work out.

Now we have a third alternative – to live here in this actual physical world and eliminate the sorrow and malice brought on by the Human Condition. One of the first issues on this path to freedom has been to examine and eliminate by ‘authority complex’. I have written about it in our journal (search: dependence on male authority). What a delight now to stand on my own feet, unafraid to examine the Ancient Wisdom of hundreds of revered authorities, and discovering that they all did not have the solution to being happy and harmless here on this planet.

This seems like a good place to examine with others, who examine as well. Thanks Peter and Vineeto for your fishing trip. I seen now you have left the Sannyas list and frankly that seems at this point smart too, because there is no point in going in circles. You have been thorough and have said all there, and well. And if others make clowns of themselves off your back, well what’s the point of going on. And for myself, there’s no point of me arguing there either.

It’s the wrong direction now and doesn’t make me happy. It’s time to move on to my own self work, which is what I really want to do.

Yes, now we have been cyber-executed on the Mailing list C, so that chapter is closed. It has been a great time, this ‘fishing trip’. For me, it was a good time to stick my neck out and write and it was very useful to examine a few remainders of fear and other psychic tentacles. Also, it created a good deal of writing that may be of use for anybody who has a similar background, similar questions or objections. Whoever is interested can find it all (anonymously) on our web-site, correspondence Peter and Vineeto. The next project is to sort the writing by topics, so it will be more easily accessible for anyone who is interested.

What is mind anyway? A thousand and one times a zillion different things including ‘awareness’.

The human brain is a fascinating thing. Not only can it think and work out problems, it can also be aware of itself – apperception.

I wrote to someone the other day:

The web is like the human brain – on a collective scale. You can find anything there, a lot of rubbish and some sound information.

You can find sex, with humour or as perversion and the respective morals, you can find politics in all its appearances, you can find religions of any flavour at nauseam, listed from A to Z, you can find any kind of superstition you can imagine, channelling, 4^th dimension, shamanism, Feng Shui, Astrology, UFO’s, Doomsday, etc, etc. And you can find facts, scientific facts, history data, sound information and fascinating technology.

But one needs to apply one’s own common sense to sort the silly from the sensible and the rubbish from the useful. Only when I clean out the rubbish in my brain, can I freely use the common sense innate to the human brain. Before that clean-out 90% of my brain activity was involved in morals, instincts, emotions, feelings and beliefs. Vineeto, List C, No. 12

What I realize now is that I was literally being told not to question. And that is not possible for me. I was being initiated into the army of the smug religious and was suppose to be a good soldier and work my way up the ranks, learn the language and ‘routines’ and initiate others. Oh boy. What actually happened is that I couldn’t and so stood on the sidelines and watched, and though I had many great experiences and fun times – I also saw a lot I knew was wrong. I did groups, and meditations, went to discourse, worked, played, danced, laughed and cried my heart out with the rest, and had explosions of absolute bliss. I withdrew and I co-mingled. But I never became a true believer. I cannot. It isn’t real. It may be in it’s bits, as an experience only. but it isn’t in it’s concept as a whole. It’s an escape, a grandiosity, this beyond the beyond (what?). It may be a great way to get in touch with the sweetness of feel good expansive light beingness – from the mess of my human problems, and that’s great. But then if I try to capture this and turn myself into a believer (mind trip then for sure) I’m fucked. And I disrespect life, myself and others. I can’t stay there in this belief. And Osho was just as human as you or I and just as much of a madhatter. Who is there to follow? That is not the point, is it. Just the opposite.

Isn’t it wonderful to have all the tools now to investigate ourselves, to not have to believe into a mysterious authority, who supposedly knows it all and has experienced it all, while everyone else has to take His word for it. Now, in one single peak experience – and Alan has described it wonderfully in his last post – I know from experience the actual world and what I am heading for. And then the only question is – taken that one wants this experience 24 hours a day, every day – how to get here, how to self-immolate, and step on to the wide and wondrous path of discovering freedom.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

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