Please note that Peter’s Journal was written by the feeling-being ‘Peter’ while ‘he’ lived in a pragmatic (methodological), still-in-control/same-way-of-being Virtual Freedom before becoming actually free.

Selected Writings from Peter’s Journal

on Virtual Freedom

There is far, far more magic in actually being here in this physical world than I have discovered in any imaginary spiritual world – the so-called meta-physical. This discovery of being able to live together in perfect peace and harmony with a woman was not the result of some Divine grace or ineffable energy. It was the direct result of a deliberate, intentional and total commitment of both parties to eventually eliminate the insidious sabotaging of the psychological and psychic identity that ‘lives’ in the flesh and blood body which prevents an actual intimacy between human beings. This identity, as Richard puts it so well, is lost, lonely, frightened and very, very cunning indeed. The only path to an actual intimacy is to eventually eliminate this identity, the root cause of the feelings of alienation and separation.

I now enjoy a near-actual intimacy, a direct experience and knowledge of another human being with whom I have shared this amazing, tangible unravelling of myths, beliefs and instinctual passions. Here is a woman with whom I not only bared my dark side – I virtually eliminated it, together with the ‘good’ side as well. Not the emotions and feelings merely paraded out in some sort of superficial ‘sharing’ but an honest and thorough investigation to root out the source of all that stood in the way of our living together in peace, harmony and equity Deep sea diving, if you like. Boots and all, no holds barred, the full Monty, all the way.

And the rewards thus far are extraordinary – l have complete freedom to be ‘me as I am’, and for Vineeto it is likewise. No expectations, no bonds, no wanting to change the other – why should we? She is perfect; she has made herself that way by ‘cleaning herself up’. And what a delight to meet equal intelligence, equal common sense and an equally sexual being! We experience equity as two human beings and delight in the physical differences, as those differences allow us to enjoy delicious, sensual sex! The hours and hours of talking, discussing and dissecting the Human Condition; the ‘What it is to be a man or a woman’; the ‘What’s going on for me’; the ‘Oh! That’s how you see it?’ – the fascination of discovery! It is astounding to actually meet another human being, naked of pretence and defence. It leaves the temporary fickleness of love for dead! Peter’s Journal, ‘Living Together’

 

A lot of magic happens on this wide and wondrous path to freedom!

During this time, I remember driving up the escarpment that encircles the lush semi-tropical coastal plain where I live. I stopped and looked out at the edge of the greenery, where a seemingly endless ribbon of white sand neatly bordered it from the azure ocean. Overhead great mounds of fluffy white clouds sailed by in the blue of the sky. Right in the foreground stood a group of majestic pines towering some thirty meters tall. I was struck by the vastness, the stillness and the perfection of this planet, the extraordinariness of it all, but … and the ‘but’ are human beings – human beings who persist in fighting and killing each other and can’t live together in peace and harmony.

It was one of those moments that forced me to do something about myself, for I was one of those 5.8 billion people. It was exactly one of those moments that forced me to do something about being able to live with a woman in peace and harmony. To prove it was possible.

No longer was it then sensible to relentlessly pursue that which has failed for billions of people for thousands of years. Hope, faith and trust, when they fail, turn inevitably to despair, doubt and suspicion. I put my stock in confidence, certainty and a good deal of bloody-mindedness to try something different and the results are already beyond my wildest dreams! First, I made it the most important task in my life. Secondly, I realised that nobody could do it but me. Then I simply had to ride out the fear that arose from changing my behaviour – from actually eradicating part of myself. To live without the emotions and feelings of love defies all that we hold dear, but the facts are that love always fails, always ends in misery and suffering, or at best in compromise and bondage. Love is, after all, a well-meaning but doomed attempt to cover up the maliciousness and sorrow that is at the core of the Human Condition.

Of course there is an alternative to love, something vastly superior, and I knew it that day I looked out over the ocean. There is an ease, a simplicity and a delight in being in the company of a fellow human being who is equally committed to discovering and permanently experiencing this very perfection that is the physical universe. Peter’s Journal, ‘Love’

The elimination of the beliefs and taboos around sexuality and their related emotions meant that each of us had to give up all that we thought was essential and set in concrete in the end. My very maleness and her very femaleness.

The results of this investigation are indeed quite interesting. We have discovered a heightened sensual pleasure in sex. We have stripped away almost all of the emotions, fears, blockages, hesitancies, guilt, and any withholding that occurs around sex.

Now it is simply a matter of when to comfortably fit it in to the day; we generally prefer the morning, as the resulting sensations can last for hours. It’s that ‘Wow’ or ‘Hmmm’ that we can get at the coffee shop later on that is so good. It is usually obvious when it is a good time to jump into bed, and not being driven takes all the ‘will we – won’t we’ nonsense away. It simply happens whenever it suits us both. Without the sex drive dominating we are able to enjoy the whole of the sexual act; it is not a blind mindless rush to orgasm. We enjoy the heightened physical pleasures of touch, smell, sight and sound, the senses building and building to become purely sexual.

The point is that the whole act is so delicious, and orgasm is just a part of it, but to prolong an orgasm or ride on the edge of one is to ride a wave of pleasure ... teetering ... right on the edge ... Yes! And then another wave comes along and off we go again ... it sure beats surfing! And each time it is a totally different journey – going wherever it goes! Pure physical pleasure!

And how good to find a fully sexual woman – freed of inhibitions – who equally enjoys a ‘romp’. The cells of the body afterwards tingling as though a fine electric charge is surging through – like a total cell re-charge. That feeling of toes curled up, utter relaxation in the body, and an extraordinary intimacy with this woman who has pleasured me, as I have pleasured her. Freely given and received, sensuous and physical, and any emotional ‘goo’ out of the way. We often would lie in bed as this physical delight emerged more and more, and say that the path to freedom would be worth it just for the sex alone! Peter’s Journal, ‘Sex’

You could regard this book as the log of my journey to date. At the time of writing there is a handful of others involved, Vineeto included, making their own escape, but everyone has to do it for themselves. I thought a personal account of my journey could be useful to anyone else who wanted to ‘escape’ from malice and sorrow and allow the delights of the actual physical world to become apparent. It is a thrilling. Nothing I have done in my life even remotely compares with this adventure, and I am doing it for myself. My experiencing ‘of the wondrous physical universe of people, events and things’, as Richard puts it, daily increases as the journey into myself continues. It works on the way, and I experience this in my daily life – after all, the point of it is to become happy and harmless now.

The goal is always immediate, the results actual in this moment, and the question continuously running is, ‘how am I experiencing this moment of being alive,’ here, now! It was amazing that this entire journey was occurring just inside my head. It is a journey into my psyche, dismantling the ‘who’ that I thought I was – my very ‘self’. This brings me back to the point of the ‘log book’. I found it necessary to spend a great deal of time with my investigations into the Human Condition, removing the belief in ‘spirits’ and ‘gods’, as they have such a tenacious hold on the human psyche. The elimination of the belief in any gods then clearly leaves me responsible for me – right now and at every moment. One of the essential first steps that I spent a lot of time talking about, thinking about and reading about was what exactly is wrong – what exactly is the nature of the beast I am to tackle?

The first obvious thing was that the problem lay in my mind and my heart. I called it the neurosis – that constant delving into past events and suffering them over and over again, and that continual rehearsal and fear of future events. Some people seem to not even get to this stage of recognising that the problem is inside themselves and not elsewhere. I had always assumed that anyone on the spiritual search had this basic understanding, and that was why they were searching. I am astounded at the number of seekers who still blame other people or events for their own unhappiness. So the first thing was to recognise that I suffered from an ailment, a dis-ease, called the Human Condition – the core of which is malice and sorrow. Peter’s Journal, ‘Intelligence’

As this psychological and psychic entity fades in strength a veritable smorgasbord of sensual delight becomes available: the air on my skin, the sounds around, food, coffee, sex, walking, thinking, talking – the whole lot. At this point I really knew that to be free was my destiny; even if I wanted to go ‘back’ I couldn’t – and why would I want to anyway? It is then just a matter of waiting it out. I saw it as a matter of de-hypnotising oneself, of establishing a confidence in a new way of living as a human being, outside of ‘humanity’. Of getting used to the fact that in virtual freedom there are no limits – I can even become an author if I want to!

And what a wide and wondrous path dissolving this entity is. The process of getting there involves devoting as much time as possible to lazing around in comfortable positions talking with someone about what it is to be a human being – making sense of it all. I only say with someone, because that is my experience – it is just good fun to do it with a ‘mate’.

 It is delightful comparing notes, delving into things, no matter how outrageous, how embarrassing or how fearful. It is like flexing the brain muscle, using it more than I have ever done before. Initially it can sometimes be quite tiring and bewildering, as the psychological entity screams for survival. But this fades into insignificance as the sheer exhilaration of finding things out for myself gripped me. Nobody told me there could be days like these. This path is definitely not about suffering – it is about being happy and harmless.

Soon a daring, then an obsession takes over, as it becomes the most incredible thing to do – to actually fix yourself up. Just as the body repairs itself, so can the brain be re-wired. As it becomes re-wired – more and more freed of the primitive brain and its instinctual fear and aggression – an actual freedom becomes increasingly apparent as being possible. The brain is the tool: I apply liberal doses of common sense to the affected areas and watch the beliefs fade away. Facts replace beliefs. It is so simple – and it works. Peter’s Journal, ‘Intelligence’

One of the things that happened to me in this journey into the Human Condition is that my attitude to people underwent a radical change. I think it is a good time to talk a bit about people, because in the previous chapter I have given human beings rather a hard time. I was trying to explain some of the things that motivated me to ‘clean myself up’. Richard put it well the other day when he said that people put on rose-coloured glasses so they do not see the awful world. Seeing that people have grey coloured glasses on in the first place, merely swapping glasses is all a bit silly and it does not work!

His remedy is to take both glasses off – and what a wonderful, delightful, actual world is revealed when one takes the risk of eliminating that lost, lonely, frightened and very, very cunning entity that resides within. Of course perfection and purity is here all the time – only now I am closer to experiencing the actuality of it. It is amazing that I now get up in the morning and take it for granted that I will again have a near-perfect day. Peter’s Journal, ‘People’

By seeing the facts of what it is to be a human being I now associate with people in an entirely new way. Gone is the need for ‘friends’ to share my sorrow with. Gone is the need to be part of a ‘group’ as a protection from imaginary fears, or for the sharing of common beliefs. Gone is the need for someone to look after me, someone to care and support me. I have no need for love as a temporary bridge to overcome the feelings of loneliness and separation. I have always been on my own and looked after myself very well in my life, and people have simply come and gone, for varying periods of time and involvement. It’s only that now I don’t have any pretences or bargains, where I do something for someone only in return for their helping me. Now if someone does something for me it is an unexpected bonus and if I do something for someone else it is a pleasure, freely given.

I am, for the first time, beginning to live my own life, not someone else’s. The bargains, bonds, deals, clinging and neediness have all but disappeared. I now regard allowing freedom, as far superior to giving love, with its accompanying needs and expectations. To allow anyone I meet to be free of me, as I am free of them. A free association. I am now able to enjoy and delight in the company of my fellow human beings for as long as is appropriate. It may be rather constantly with Vineeto, or briefly with the check-out girl at the local supermarket. However, I am under no illusion, and know that the essential nature of people is malicious and sorrowful; in fact, now it is even more obvious to me, so well do I now know the Human Condition. I am now free to take people as I find them, without investment or expectation, suspicion or competition, attack or defence. Consequently my interactions are invariably delightful and interesting. I harbour no hidden suspicions or doubts, fears, secrets or ulterior motives – those feelings we usually label as ‘intuition’. What you see is sincerely what you get. It is such a relief not to have to battle it out or herd together with others in order to ‘survive’.

What I have found is that this is the only game to play in town, and it’s called actually becoming happy and harmless, not just pretending or avoiding. I become more free incrementally, as each belief is replaced with the facts. If something pops up that is preventing my happiness or causing me to be harmful to others right now then I have something else to look at. And I simply work my way through the list… Then the day will eventually come when being happy and harmless is my very nature, rather than being malicious and sorrowful, as is Human Nature. Only then it will be effortless – once my part is done. Peter’s Journal, ‘People’

 

It is indeed a wide and wondrous path to freedom.

Recently someone said of Richard’s writings: ‘Why is he talking of everyday things?’ Well, when I wallowed in the world of emotions, feelings, energies and spirits, it was a full-time neurosis, and I couldn’t savour the delights of food, sex, conversation, doing ‘nothing’, playing FreeCell, reading a book, walking, sitting and watching the sky (or the ceiling). Now increasingly I do. Having nothing meaningful or useful or significant or urgent or exciting to do, day after day: and yet experiencing every day, each moment as near-perfect. Everyday life, everyday things. It has to be lived to be fully understood.

We rent a small flat, television, video, a couple of computers, two couches, a balcony with another couch and a couple of comfortable chairs, and a kitchen stocked with our favourite foods. In short, there is everything I need in life, and I live life in this flat almost as I did on the yacht those nights, many years ago. The physical ordinary things of life in this house are as actual, as extraordinary, as the wonders of nature.

The universe has done a wonderful job in providing me with all the necessities I require for a delightful life, and I only need to work a little to earn sufficient money to pay the bills. I remember about twenty years ago there was a lot of talk about the future, when automation and computers would reduce the amount of boring, repetitive and dangerous work humans did. And that then we would all work less and have increased leisure time. Well, that time has come, and suddenly we are calling it unemployment and a crisis! A few years ago I took on a young lad on the building site and he has turned out to be a good carpenter, so I figure he can take my place in the workforce – I’ll take the leisure time. And as for ‘Sustainable’ communities and ecology, I see them as nothing else but sustainable already – they already exist! And in constant change of course, as that is the nature of things. That the universe exists involves no effort on my part. When I get up in the morning I am aware it is here and doing well again. After all, there is no one in charge – there is no-one running this show – it is actually self-sustaining. Peter’s Journal, ‘The universe’

I learnt from my pure consciousness experiences that by not ‘being’, or becoming, or having come from somewhere, or going somewhere, I, as this body, am safely and firmly located in time. I am never out of time. I am never busy or not busy. I always have enough time because it is right here, this very moment of being alive, doing what is happening now. This moment is the only time I can experience; the past is nothing but a memory stored in the brain cells, only some of which I can recall if required. And the future hasn’t happened yet, and when it comes it will be this moment. Living this as an actuality leaves no room for the ‘self’, that identity who always has a past and a future. By doing what is happening in this moment, ‘I’ momentarily cease to exist, for my awareness is involved fully in what is happening, in this case typing these words, feeling the cooling breeze on my legs and occasionally being aware of traffic and bird calls outside. Photograph courtesy of NASA

It is all becoming so eminently effortless, near-perfect but, as I discovered, it does take time to get used to living this way. There was a ‘can it be this easy, this simple, this lazy, this effortless, this good, this near-perfect?’ It goes totally against the ideas of struggle, effort, achievement, being creative or useful. I now see everyone else as wasting time by avoiding this very moment by living with their past, usually sad memories, or by dreaming and planning their future in a futile attempt to give purpose or meaning to their lives. They all are avoiding or missing out on the thrill of experiencing this moment of being alive as a sensate human being. Peter’s Journal, ‘Time’

In my life I simply exchange a bit of time, working for someone else, for some tokens called money, which I then exchange to rent a comfortable flat, for food, clothes, and the surprising little else I actually need to enjoy life. My hunting and harvesting is done with a trolley in the local air-conditioned supermarket and takes me thirty minutes a week. Humans, at least where I live, have organised an amazingly effective administrative, legal and commercial system that, combined with my sensible actions, serves to provide a safe and wonderfully comfortable life for me. Every pleasure I need in life is located in this flat or within walking distance.

So much pleasure that Vineeto and I sometimes have to run a little schedule to decide which pleasure next – sex, food, play on the computer, watch some TV, a walk...? One has to be wary of ‘pleasure stress’ when this actual world of delight and sensual pleasure is revealed. Hedonism really – and the word has such a bad press in the real world of suffering! This is not to deny that I could be confronted with danger or indeed ill health at some time, but then I will just respond appropriately at the time. It is truly amazing that I now virtually experience the planet as a safe and delightful place in which to live, while all around live in fear and aggression.

An evolutionary change is now beginning to happen in that a new species of human beings will emerge on the planet. Human beings who will be actually free of fear and aggression – actually free of the Human Condition. I propose an appropriate name for this species would be ‘Homo Delightus’. Given that this evolutionary change happens in the brain, a re-wiring if you like, the only one who can begin to cause this to happen is me. And it is now available to whoever wants to make the effort to become happy and harmless. Peter’s Journal, ‘Evolution’

Peter’s Selected Writings

Peter’s Journal

Library – Virtual Freedom

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