Others ~ Selected Correspondence

How to Become Free from the Human Condition

No 60 has not shown readiness in tracing the root cause for his ‘tantrum’ despite many questions from Richard.

Excuse me for interjecting, but that is neither fair nor true. I am, of course, aware that Richard was giving a practical demonstration of how the method works in practice ... i.e. what happened between [one date] and [another date] to trigger the loss of felicitous feelings? In the course of daily life, lots of things can and do happen to cause or diminish felicitous feelings ...

If you do not find the root cause/trigger of what has caused the loss of felicitous feeling, then the method has not been given its full chance.

I had this experience yesterday: I suddenly found myself amidst deep sorrow which I had described before. it was growing taking various shapes, calling all those instances that I had erred, guilt ridden, feeling other person’s sorrow, blaming how cold I had been to ‘No 60’ in my mails, fearing an attack from ‘No 60’ and ‘No 53’ etc. I was once again in the midst of some seemingly unresolvable situation.

Then I said, no matter what I am going to exactly practise actualism method. I am going to recollect the last moment I felt good, and trace the trigger. I couldn’t do it. amazing amount of resistance. I hated the method. I didn’t want to go ahead. I wanted to watch the growing sorrow instead. But I said, I have to do it. No other choice. It took me 10 minutes or so and finally I was convinced that I had to find out the trigger.

And the trigger I found. I wasn’t convinced ... it was a lot of trial and error search ... but I found it all right. I couldn’t have found it from watching the evolution of the feelings ... it was totally different. It was a total surprise. Then I finally understood actualism method. You keep finding the triggers to feeling bad and replace them with sense and disable them ... you do it with common sense by feeling good as soon as possible. As long as you do not do this, you will be triggered again and again and again and you will experience the same old in different forms due to the same reasons.

So, actualism method does exactly what is required: not more, not less.

I am more and more surprised that in spite of my participation and claiming various things all along, I hadn’t put the method into practise 100%. I talk more, contradict myself a lot. But I am glad that things are dropping.

I read Vineeto’s mail and followed the conversation she pointed to that I had with Richard... if only I had understood all those a while ago, I would have saved all these turmoil.

But here is the key point, the one that almost every respondent seems to have overlooked ... the reaction I have described occurs independently of those events and independently of my current attitude toward actualism/actualists. I am not bullshitting about this.

It is possible. I thought I experienced briefly what you describe as feedback loop. Then I said: why am I doing this? Why should I feel bad because of this question? Why should I avoid the light of awareness? Why should I throw a tantrum? Is it not clear that unless I find out every moment and again what is going on, good/bad, I can never progress? Isn’t it the darkness where the dark side flourishes? Talking to myself thus, I was finally able to see sense and stopped my tantrum.

I could be having a great day, could be on fine terms with actualists, could be very enthusiastic about actualism ... yet when I start asking myself ‘How ....?’ ... inevitably before very long, without anything necessarily having happened other than beginning to ask the question and become self-consciously seeking to maintain felicitous feelings, the feedback loop sets in exactly as I have described it.

I’ve said this repeatedly: the problem I had with the method was unrelated to any and all problems that the method revealed, and unrelated to any and all events that arose in daily life. It itself created a problem that is not otherwise present.

Fair. But then it is ‘you’ who is creating the problem and you have to find out why. The method may or may not deliver the goods... but if you have a ‘reaction’ to that method, it is your reaction only.

It is true for any method... not just actualism. Any reaction is yours. And any affective reaction, doubly so.

In any case, the mystery is solved now ... and the matter is over and done with. I just find it extraordinary that you would consider these responses:

From Vineeto: ‘... ... ... ...’

I think Vineeto’s mails are simply great... Peter has a certain flavour (no nonsense... no dilly dallying) and Vineeto gives practical stuff more, Richard with his extensive research and economy... etc.

From Peter: ‘If all else fails, read the instructions.’

Amicus No 60 – magis amica veritas. Your mails are/were very interesting. you write well. you are an interesting person. you have friendliness, certain amount of exploratory nature... etc. But I think you have believed in the writings more than you should. I think you have taken certain stuff from the writings without validation.

I think your wisdom is a mixture of your experience with some projections that concur with actualism. Therefore there are a lot of falsities in it. You may not like what I am saying, but if necessary we can go into this. My case is the same... I do not deny it.

So I say: Peter is right... you need little more reading.

From Richard: ‘I have no intention whatsoever of even beginning to think about providing some reasonable explanation, as to why you have what you characterise as being a feedback loop problem with the actualism method, let alone doing so.’

Finally it is a do it yourself business. Richard in his wisdom might consider leaving ‘me’ to figure out its tricks for itself. Richard has somewhere encouraged the practising actualists to write so that this kind of exploration is documented and people can relate to – otherwise they will be lost due to fallibility of memory.

It is more or less clear for me that nobody has clearly understood actualism and put fully into practise except Richard, Alan, Peter, Vineeto, Gary ... their writing clearly demonstrates that to me...

No 66 seems to be doing a good job but I am not sure if has had the taste of passions, No 32 has a great understanding of the stuff but I am not sure if he is moving vertically or horizontally :) ... as for me, I have a long way to go but I have my engine started and I have started enjoying the scenery :). No 37 has got a great intellectual grip as well, he has put them in practise as well, but maybe he is not giving it 100% ... No 04 I am not sure if he has cracked the stuff. this is what I have concluded from my study of the mails.

... As ‘100% sense’ in responding to the problem I described, or that you would consider them to be telling it like it is, telling the plain truth, giving one’s fellow human being the bitter medicine he needs, or other macho nonsense.

I don’t think they are like Gurdjieff giving the ‘bitter pill’ or a ‘zen blow’... they are simply stating the facts.

Sometimes No 60 ... you may not be able to see ‘No 60’ ... but ‘No 60’ may be visible to others in the form of various things you write. It will be for you too, if for some strange weird desire you do post mortem of your mails.

*

And that tells me that he has to go little further deep before he can disown the method.

Disowned it already chum, and life is better already. Feel like I’ve cast off a straightjacket.

I have disowned the method/actualism more than once ... and I felt a great relief. but then, I realized that I had merely lost the beliefs ... believing in actualism is not practising actualism. No 33 to No 60, 31.5.2005

Recently you wrote on the differences between intelligence and instincts. I am going to continue with my practice of snipping relevant passages and sentences from your post and then responding to those, rather than try to reproduce the entire large post and reply to each and every point. I find that it is bit more manageable for me that way. However, I must say before I do that your recent post was exceptionally well written and powerful. I think you expressed your points with particular clarity and forthrightness. All in all, I found your points have persuaded me to take a long, hard look at just what I think and feel about the whole matter of intelligence as it relates to the instincts. At first reading your post aroused a kind of defensive response in me and I was inclined to respond in a defensive kind of manner, but I decided to wait, think it over more, and really consider what you are saying, ‘chew’ on it a bit more before putting anything down in writing. I also decided, as you suggested, to re-read that portion of your Journal on Intelligence. I recognized immediately that I had read it before, but this time the words took on a different meaning, fuelled in part by my desire to unravel, understand and get to the bottom of this whole thing.

This is where the defensiveness set in. I thought I don’t need you to tell me about the appalling brutalities that have been committed in the past 100 years. But rather than persisting in a defensive reaction, and making some kind of defensive retort to your post, some kind of knee jerk reaction, I decided to really try to understand what I was feeling defensive about and why I was feeling that way. There is something about this whole issue that I just have not ‘gotten’, something that has not clicked with me. And it goes way beyond just dealing in the semantics of it – the meaning of words and their usage – and it goes to the heart of the matter. And I must admit – and this is very hard – that I have been mistaken in this: you see, I thought that making and using weapons was an intelligent reaction to a perceived danger from other human beings, but I am reconsidering this.

This is the crux of the matter. You see, ‘I’ have been living in fear and I don’t want to admit it nor give up my cherished existence. ‘I’ don’t want to give up my ‘extensive defensive preparations’, for ‘I’ feel naked and vulnerable without them. The simple truth of the matter is that fear is not intelligence. It is the instincts that are killing people around the world, and it is the instincts that make me not only capable of killing but of wanting to kill another fellow human being. I found that in thinking about what has happened in the last 100 years, indeed in all of recorded human history, it has been impossible for me to separate what has happened historically from what goes on on an individual, ‘personal’ level, what takes place inside of this critter named ‘Gary’. I am just another sane, normal human being- and it has been these same sane, normal human beings that have, for the most part, been responsible for the appalling bloodshed that has happened and is still happening. Gary to Peter

I once felt as you do, that there was some sort of higher ‘meaning’ to my being here, even that some sort of Higher Intelligence, a God or Truth or Light, if you will, was actively planning and pulling the strings in order for me to have these experiences. I felt I could trust in Providence to provide exactly the experiences that I needed to have in order to complete my journey here on earth. I thus felt I was on some sort of Divine Mission, that I was a ‘spiritual being have a human experience’. When I got involved in actualism, I threw all these notions in the trash bin where they belong. I no longer search for the meaning of life, nor do I believe in any Higher Power or Powers, any Divine Intelligence, nor any Gods or Goddesses. I saw that I had been suckered in by all the spiritual talk, by the Holy Ones, like countless human beings down through the ages, to believe in Something Else, something Metaphysical and abstract. I saw that all these spiritual notions served as a sugar-coating, hiding my own malice and sorrow, and that if I ever were to eliminate my own malice and sorrow and find peace and happiness on earth, I was going to have to put on my hip-boots, roll up my shirt-sleeves, and start digging into ‘me’, investigating every belief and feeling that ever I had. I found that it is possible to be happy and harmless right here in this perfect and pristine physical universe living with people as-they-are without believing in all the spiritual claptrap that is out there and is very fashionable nowadays. Again, I would suggest that you read as much about actualism as you can put your hands on to find out for yourself what this radically new and iconoclastic approach is all about. As you say, you are teetering on the edge of giving actualism a go. You can find out for yourself exactly what is on offer and find out if it makes sense for you. Studying, reading, and discussion with others is an inestimable help.

I don’t know if it is of any help to you or not, but I can say that examining my spiritual values was the first step to starting to demolish the social identity that had been programmed into me in life and that I had been programmed to believe. Speaking for myself, I found that it was not at all difficult to discard spiritual beliefs and ideas once I examined their having absolutely no basis in fact . Discarding spiritual beliefs, however, did occasion fear, as I felt ‘naked’ without them. But I gradually developed confidence and surety that I could live without any belief in a metaphysical realm, without following any Enlightened Figure, without believing in any Grand Scheme or following the teachings of God-men or God-women. I found that I was subject to no eternal damnation for straying from the teachings of the wise ones, that I did not immediately go off the rails, or suffer torment for giving up my cherished beliefs. But I found that I had to do this for myself, I had to take the plunge, urged on by the experiences of others. What is at stake is peace on earth in this lifetime. It is possible ... now.

Thank you for asking. Keep asking questions, it is important. Gary to No 21

‘I’ am learning in ‘my’ own way and this may assist ‘me’ to break free of ‘my’ delusional persistence to exist as an identity separate from everything and everyone. I may get to use this internet more often but I prefer talking...with instant two way feedback probably because ‘I’ feel and think in a conditioned manner to get somewhere more quickly. I am beginning to see that sitting or waiting for the solution to come to me is as good a way as any and I don’t get the quick easy or intellectually clever answer. Eventually all methods are wrong because the method is the solution is the doing, (or not doing).

I am not really sure what you are saying here and I thought I would question you about it. One of the hallmarks of Actual Freedom as it is talked about on this mailing list is that it is a method that can be communicated intelligently to others who have the verve and vivacity to apply it to changing their lives. In your ‘Anniversary Rave’ post, it seems that you are reaping the rewards of having encountered the method. But in what you wrote (reproduced above) you seem to disparage methods as ‘wrong’. You seem to be saying that the solution, the doing (or not doing) is the thing, not the method. This sounds suspiciously like what I encountered in studying the teachings of Krishnamurti, and what I have encountered as objections to actualism from people influenced by the teachings of K. Personally, I do not hold with that point of view anymore.

What do you mean when you write ‘eventually all methods are wrong’? Do you think actualism is wrong? I don’t mean to put you on the spot, but what you say here seems a bit inconsistent with what you write elsewhere, and as you took the time to reply to a previous post of mine, perhaps you will reply to this straightforward question of mine.

Yet the PCE, as I understand it, is a temporary condition in which ‘I’ am held in abeyance. Until final extinction of the psyche occurs, there will be a need, I think, for a method that gives one a practical means of investigating into the ‘me’ that inevitably causes the PCE to dimmer, fade and eventually leave, whether it last for minutes or hours as it does. You say that in the PCE one has arrived. Yes, it has been my experience that in the PCE there is indeed nowhere for one to go or be because one is already living in this actual world of unparalleled bounty and delight. When one has gone through self-immolation, I take it one has no need for any method whatsoever. I am still at a loss to understand why you apparently negate the value of the method of actualism. Perhaps I am misunderstanding what you are saying (?)

Even if you are in a PCE, as evidently you have experienced them, why do you then negate the value of a method that allows one actively to achieve the very state where methods are not needed?

No, of course not. Even if I am in a PCE, if a car is speeding my way, I am definitely going to jump out of the way!

Yes, ‘I’ as in ‘who I think I am’ often react blindly and instinctively in a self-protective, sometimes blatantly aggressive manner. ‘I’ am indeed standing in the way of the perfection and infinitude of the physical universe. But, seeing the manner in which the instincts drive one, feeling it in one’s bones, is the start of eliminating them, isn’t it?

The beauty of it is that I don’t really have a theory of playing a guitar. I just play what strikes my fancy. But yes, it goes much better when I am playing just for the sake of hearing the strings sing, feeling my fingers coursing up and down the fret-board, and hearing the delightful tones resonating throughout the room, perhaps at the time of dusk when all is still. It is purely sensory experience.

*

Then, I guess my question to you at this point is: might the method of actualism, as communicated in the writings on actualism on this mailing list and on the websites prevent anyone arriving and being here and now? Have you, in your experiences along the way, encountered any impediments whilst using the method of actualism, impediments that might be inherent to the methods themselves?

Just for the sake of clarity, I regard the methods of actualism to be the running of the ‘What is my experience of...’ question, either continuously or intermittently, the dismantling of the social identity along with the spiritual values, and intensive investigation into and eventual elimination of the animal instinctual passions. While there may be other methods extant, these seem to be the main ones.

I will concede that perhaps you are perhaps beyond the point where using any method, however helpful it may have been initially, is of any use. I, on the other hand, have never maintained that I am ‘truly’ (as in actually) free. I find that I still have a need for a method that helps me return to being happy and harmless, even if it is as simple as remembering to run the ‘What is my experience of...’ question. Maybe that sounds a bit like having a crutch, but I am not talking about a method in that sense. It is not like there is a book of instructions that I go to labelled ‘How to be actually free’...first start on page 1, do this that and the other thing, now proceed to Step 2, etc., etc.

Your second question in the paragraph reproduced above, however, is most interesting because it seems to me to point up the whole issue of effort. Is there any effort ‘I’ can make, need to make, in order to partake of the already perfect and pristine paradise that is this actual physical universe? Or is making any effort at all an impediment to one’s arrival here and now? I would appreciate your detailed answer to this question as it seems to be at the crux of the matter.

Maybe using a method is especially helpful in the beginning of undertaking an Actual Freedom. So far, in the writings on actualism, it is stressed that it is important to read, for instance, as much as possible of the actualism writings, and I have been doing just that. But one doesn’t want to get too far up in one’s head about it, turning actualism into a philosophy to be lived or some type of new belief system. And maybe at some point, maybe extremely early on for all I know, one’s reliance on reading and applying certain practices becomes a hindrance, and one needs to break free of all that and ‘do it’. You seem to be pointing in that direction, no? I would appreciate your comments and thoughts on this matter.

*

Back again to your ‘Sherlock Holmes’ method, it is a useful way to conceive of it because it really is a kind of detective work that one is engaged in. In this investigative work, one needs to look deeply at who I think I am , the identity, as the culprit, the one who always sabotages the purity and perfection of the present moment over and over again. I need to understand ‘me’ in all my workings, and I am really like a detective. Actually, sometimes I feel more like the bumbling Dr. Watson (I always did like him a bit more than old Sherlock!). ‘I’ leave fingerprints all over the place, on everything I touch, virtually. All ‘my’ emotional reactions are the signature, the imprint, of the alien entity that inhabits this flesh and blood body. This ‘alien entity’ can, for instance, feel the weepy, teary, mushy emotions when viewing a movie showing a bunny rabbit getting killed, while a moment later cheer in exultation at the gruesome slaying of the ‘bad guys’. Any emotional life ‘I’ have is always contradictory like this. Gary to No 13

I read your response to No 13’s post on ‘Mindfulness’, and I believe I detected a statement incorrectly attributed to him. That statement was:

No 13 – A method may be useful to a certain point but then one has to fly on one’s own.

In a post to No 13 I made the following statements:

I’d like to put this business of method to rest for right now. Following methods is of no use at all unless one puts them to practical application. A method may be useful to a certain point but then one has to fly on one’s own. Following a method, if I understand you correctly, can be a way of playing it safe. It then becomes an intellectual, cerebral experience and not the doing of it that is so critical. It is the doing of it that counts, and not the method.

What I meant was that using the method of actualism is useful to a certain point, but when one is totally happy and harmless, there is clearly no need for the method at that time, other than to perhaps inform others of one’s discoveries so they may try it out too.

Whether No 13 is beyond this ‘certain point’ is not to me to say, but his comments would seem to at least indicate that he thinks so. Perhaps he could comment on it, as you have requested. I had originally written to No 13, in part, in order to determine what he thought of the method of actualism. I almost got the impression that he felt the method was an impediment to one’s freedom, and I wanted to know what his position is on this, as it sounded to me suspiciously like those adherents of Krishnamurti who decry any method, even the most soundly based, as a creation of thought, and therefore not the new. But I do not believe he is saying that the method in itself is an impediment, just that perhaps for him it did not work past a certain point. What that point is, I will not speculate.

I have found, and still find, that the methods pioneered by the expert and experienced actualists on this list are a great help. When I am having a pure consciousness experience, following a method is redundant, for I have arrived. The method is not abandoned, however, and is picked up again when the savage or tender passions ‘rear their ugly head’. The running of the ‘How am I experiencing the present moment...’ is most helpful at all times. There are some relatively long intervals of time when I am not conscious of running the question, and I find that my attentiveness slips and I find myself again in the soup. Feelings and passions are bleeding through, creating their own brand of havoc. At this point, the method is sorely needed to return one to being happy and harmless. So that is exactly why the method is needed: as I have not self-immolated, there are the occasional disturbances and emotional bleed-throughs that need to be investigated vigorously and thoroughly using the very methods that others have found and applied to themselves.

I wanted to write this to set the record straight on who said what and to whom. Gary to Peter

I spoke to No 7 just awhile ago about a recent experience with fear. There is no need to really go into all of it right now, but in light of what you wrote, the advice to ‘keep your hands in your pockets’ is sensible. I do regret acting unwisely in the situation. I did become somewhat aggressive. I recall the supervisor saying that I was ‘defensive’.

‘I’ have a tendency to blow things up out of all proportion when I have these emotional reactions and it is extremely difficult if not impossible to see my actions clearly. In any event, ‘I’ wanted to run, bolt, or go on the attack. I get like a cornered animal in these situations and it is clearly a matter of the familiar fight-or-flight, adrenalin pumping instinctual reaction.

I take it that, for you, the storms of atavistic fears have subsided, if not left the scene entirely. My question at this point is: what can one do when one is experiencing these instinctual reactions? One’s natural inclination is to flee from the whole thing, or (in the case of aggression) attack the source of the disturbance, an equally destructive reaction.

What is one to do? I mean, I sit in it, looking at it from all possible angles. Of course, it is extremely disturbing when it is happening. I also see the release from the fear, as evidenced by my next day excellent experience, to be an indication that I was doing something right, I’m just not sure what to be exact. So, how does one dig into the savage instincts and really ‘plumb the Stygian depths’? I don’t want to back off of the fear and aggression when it comes up but I am not sure how much of it I can handle – there must be a point where it is perhaps wise to leave it alone and come back to it at a later time. Maybe you can’t really say for sure and that this is where one is on one’s own, there being no way that another such as yourself can really tell one what to do.

Just some questions and some thoughts about the real work that takes place in investigating the instincts. I would be pleased if you would respond. Gary to Peter

I think I can say in retrospect that what I went through recently with fears was another layer in dismantling the social identity and uncovering the instincts. It is not, as you point out, a cool dispassionate business this, and there are bound to be many storms along the way. As I have said before, I have a tendency to make more out of these things than they probably deserve. For instance, I have noticed that it is a distinct tendency of mine to think that I have been terribly angry and offended someone else and when later checking this out with the other person they tell me in no uncertain terms that I did not seem very angry at all and that what happened was hardly worth bothering about.

One can feel the anger yet keep the lid on the feeling, such that one is not imposing upon or offending others, as you pointed out. The instincts of fear and aggression seem at times to be all rolled up in one – hard to tell where one ends and the other begins.

Fear, in my experience, turns so quickly to aggression – although one is ‘keeping one’s hands in one’s pockets’, still the aggressive drive is there, one can feel oneself pulling in, feeling cornered, ready to pounce at a moments notice. At some point, the fear turns to aggression through either a verbal lashing out or lightening quick physical movements. An extremely interesting thing on the actualism path is that one can be aware of and observe these movements of blind instinct without feeding into them, in other words, without carrying them to execution behaviourally. One can be aware of one’s aggression, as in having the hidden desire to wound or lash out at another, without actually doing it. One also sees how one reacts to any instinctual aggression or fear with shamefaced apologies, regretful mutterings, etc., and one can similarly observe the movement of these responses without feeding into them and carrying them to execution.

This is not at all the same thing as the religious and spiritual people practice as in ‘forgiveness’ and ‘turning the other cheek’, which is actually a swinging to the tender and nurturing instincts, or a deliberate suppression or stifling of the aggressive or fearful urges. No, the thing is to investigate and uncover, rather than bringing the process full stop by bringing in spiritual/religious injunctions, guilt, remorse, and swinging to the tender passions.

Yes, one needs particularly to ‘make friends with oneself’, as Richard pointed out, when doing this work. Berating yourself is only going to make it worse. I notice that I have a particular tendency to berate myself for feeling or displaying anger. This was undoubtedly conditioned into me with such parental admonitions as ‘Don’t you get angry with me, buster!’ Other people I come into contact with seem so uninhibited in their way of venting their spleen, of showing anger or making a big show of how angry they are. I often chuckle to myself because ‘I’ am not like that. But it is interesting, isn’t it, to stand back and realize how completely arbitrary this social conditioning is? I don’t know if ‘arbitrary’ is the right word for it. I mean, ‘I’ could just as easily be some other way based on what I was taught growing up, what values I imbibed from the elders and the tribe. When one stands back and really looks at it, one sees that one is not a unique individual but rather a composite of moral, religious/spiritual values, and ethics that are designed to keep the instincts at bay. One sees that one has taken these things in lock, stock, and barrel without questioning them at all. Of course, all this has been pointed out before, by Richard and others, and is well explained in the material on the website. But when one does begin to intensively question these things, it is not surprising that one is going to incur considerable fear and emotional disturbance, and one should be braced for a difficult, yet exciting and thrilling time. Stuffing up is inevitable, but the rewards on the other side of it are beyond compare. The PCE is the prize, the gold at the end of the tunnel. One has to keep tunnelling, and keep at it with a awesome determination and a pure intent, but the rewards can occur at any point along the way, wherever one finds oneself. Gary to Peter

Actualists have written a great deal about how to apply the actualism method and have shared their experiences as to how to make investigations into beliefs and feelings. You will find it under the links to selected correspondences on the library page of ‘How to Become Free from the Human Condition?’ and also under ‘Affective Feelings – Emotions, Passions and Calentures’.

Thanks Vineeto for the links. Again, I note that there is so much on the website I can go on reading informative interchanges and can have all my doubts and questions answered only with some non-meditative eyes-open approach from all the recorded material over years of application.

For the first time, I gained perspective from setting the objective – to become happy and harmless. And as Richard points out – to the point of ‘obsession’.  Every question falls into perspective, every investigation on emotion falls in its place – does it make me happy and harmless – the answer is NO, usually.  I also found it useful to turn the instincts of aggression and fear to bloody-mindedness and courage in pursuing this goal – as you had pointed out.

And it seems that what I am experiencing now is a candidate for PCE, readily. I feel having coming to senses for the first time. Where did the emotional construct go now? He is conspicuous by his absence and everything feels live and vivid. And I know now not make an instinctual grab for this moment!

*

As I now understand: Exist happily & harmlessly acting/reflecting. Look for an emotion. If you find one, see its structure of underlying belief/instinct. See if it has anything to do with being happy and harmless. Conviction: it will not be. Throw it out of the window. Go back to step 1.

It works! No 33 to Vineeto

So back to: [is there any relation between your giving up of the marijuana and your focusing on this moment of being alive?] As I see ‘this moment’ as the only moment (there is not coming a next nor was there one before) ‘I’ do not ‘focus’ on this moment as this neither is possible nor is there any need to do so.

I did do some critical reflection on that word ‘focus’ after I wrote this post. It is probably a poor choice of words in this context, as the word ‘focus’ commonly implies a narrowing of attention to a particular aspect of experience. Whereas the question ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive’ only requires one to answer that question for themselves, not necessarily through a selective process of focusing or filtering input but by bringing one’s attentiveness to what one is experiencing. Let’s say I am driving along past some beautiful scenery, a splendid mountain vista is revealing itself to my sight, yet I am ‘deep in thought’, and due to my thought activity, and perhaps the associated feelings and emotions, completely miss the spectacular view. Then attentiveness and a conscious running of the question brings this to my attention – I have completely missed out on this experience due to being ‘in my head’. It is not really a focusing in this example but it involves something like a re-focusing.

What do you think?

Imprisoned? What do you mean?

At one time I found that a little pot, just smoking maybe half a joint, heightened my senses and appreciation, as it elevated a sensory experience, like tasting a good steak, or sex, or whatever. But as in my experience there were so few times I was able to smoke ‘a little pot’, me being inclined to go completely overboard and stupefy myself, I found it best to abstain completely. I realize my experience may not be the same as yours.

It seems like one can have the experience you related above at most any time, and indeed I have myself, suddenly the experience comes slamming home that I am ALIVE! as you say, and ‘simply being here’. Gary to No 23

I think it would be more accurate to say that one remembers a PCE. The reason for this I think is that while one may be able to remember many happy times in life, only the PCE involves absolute benignity, effortlessness, harmlessness, and sensuousness all rolled into one. In the PCE one is both happy and harmless at the same time. As has been pointed out before on this list, however, it is very difficult to remember a PCE, as the experience itself does not leave much of a memory trace. Yet when one assiduously runs the question ‘How am I ...’ in one’s daily life, it is easy to differentiate affectively driven experiences from their pure conscious counterparts.

Recently, Peter (hello Peter) wrote to No 21 and had this to say:

‘Then you really start to become curious about how you are experiencing this moment of being alive and then you realize, all of a sudden, that you have got it – you know what actualism is about because you are doing it. And soon you know the prize at the end of the path because you come to remember having experienced a pure consciousness experience of the utterly benign purity and perfection of the actual world – the actual world that is always right here, ever-only right now, under my very nose whenever ‘I’ am not here.’ Peter, List AF, No 21

It may be redundant to say that in the past I have been happy advancing my career, pursuing a love life, having dreams and imaginations of all sorts, being lustful, prideful, etc, etc.

That is why I do not think it is quite correct to say that the task is remembering being happy per se, as ‘I’ find happiness in these sorts of things, or perhaps a need gratification that passes for happiness. Rather than pining away for happier times, remembering a PCE, or even reading another’s description of PCEs can trigger it off, with the result that one becomes automatically benign, carefree and harmless. I also found it useful to attend to what happens to cause a PCE to dimmer and eventually fade, when ‘I’ again claim centre stage, as it were. This involves quite a lot of investigative digging and ferreting out activity. Simply remembering a PCE does not necessarily bring you back to a PCE, in my opinion, but it does raise the bar higher, so to speak, and provides a litmus test of one’s intent. While I can remember many times when I was happy in the past, even whilst I was involved in the spiritual search, happiness was always a fleeting thing, evanescent, never remaining for very long, and there was always a backdrop of deep sorrow and vicious resentment in my case. The longer I have practiced the Actualism method, the log jam of sorrow and resentment, seemingly impenetrable, has largely dissipated. In real world terms, what passes for simply ‘being happy’ is a poor substitute for a Pure Consciousness Experience. Gary to No 48

Peter, I can see why you went searching for something that works to permanently eliminate the ‘but’ from ‘I am happy, but ...’ rather than stay with a teaching whose rules only serve to dismiss the unwanted and undesirable feelings by either suppression or transcendence.

‘When one asks oneself ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’ and the answer is ‘I am happy, but ...’, it is the ‘but’ that needs investigating and eliminating. You then just tick them off the list until there are no ‘buts’ left.’ Peter, List AF, No 3, 9.6.2001

I was thinking about the points raised in this post on my way home from work tonight and thought I would reply.

I remember it was a common saying when I attended Alcoholics Anonymous (let’s see, when was that?) ‘Everything after ‘but’ is Bullshit!’ I remember thinking that this was pretty good advice at the time and I remember quoting that precept myself. But now I have a different opinion of it, and I think it is in line with what both you and Peter are talking about.

I think your point, and Peter’s too, is that everything after ‘but’ is not to be dismissed lightly as untruth or lies but something that needs to be examined and brought to the light of awareness. I may say, for instance, that I am happy – and people do this many times – but then they fill you in on their pet peeve of the day, just in case you happen to have the time to stand around and listen. Even if one does not verbally express their pet peeve or their reasons for being anything but happy and excellent, if one is practising the actualism method of running the question ‘How am I...’, one is aware inwardly at least of having reservations about an outbreak of unrestrained and unreserved happiness and harmlessness.

I think that one is either happy or harmless or one is not. It seems to me that one cannot say that one is ‘a little’ happy or ‘a little’ harmless. However, one may maintain outwardly that one is happy – many people put on the smiley face and sally forth into the workaday world clutching malice and sorrow to their breasts- but if one is honest one can see that there is something else going on at the time. It actually matters little whether one says this to someone or keeps it silent, to him/herself.

As a result of practising actualism, the happiness bar has been raised quite a good bit on me. Now I do not settle as easily for the attitudes, feelings, and emotional states that I used to. I can no longer deceive myself that I am happy and harmless when I am in fact not happy and harmless. The identity or persona plays the game around other people of putting on the smiley face and telling everyone that I am ‘great’ but awareness shows what is standing in the way of my experiencing a life that is second to none. And what is standing in the way of happiness and harmlessness is none other than ‘me’ or ‘I’ or ‘Gary’, the interloper. It always results from a variation of the familiar themes, such as ‘I am worried about such and so...’, or ‘I feel I deserve a vacation right now...’, or ‘I don’t feel that person gave me proper respect (blah, blah, blah)’.

The other thing I have noticed about practising actualism is this: even though I may not be happy or harmless, continued running of the question and continued ‘digging into it’ results inevitably in the reaping of great rewards further down the line. Peter once talked in a post about the importance of writing one’s successes mentally on a big chalkboard and pulling it out to show yourself whenever you are feeling down and out of sorts. I think that is very good advice for a person like ‘me’ who is habitually down on himself. The rewards of actualism are an ever-increasing and incremental freedom from resentment, self-pity, anger in all forms, sorrow, jealousy, aggressiveness – - the list just goes on and on. It is enough to take your breath away and it is priceless. No regret, no recrimination, in short, no emotions or feelings spoiling my day and disturbing my nights.

So this post today is my pocket-endorsement of the method and results of actualism.

The results – happiness and harmlessness – go way beyond – indeed they in another league entirely – than those religious and spiritual trance-like ecstatic states that I experienced in my ‘spiritual’ years. Indeed, nothing dirty can get in when you are happy and harmless. If you are not, then there is something to look into, something to examine for yourself. The challenge, the dare of actualism is, to my mind, ‘What’s it going to be? How am I experiencing this present moment of being alive?’ That simple question, practised with unwavering, unflagging determination, and the utmost honesty that one can muster is the catalyst that will propel one into the Third Alternative. Gary to Alan

Richard, how did you discover ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive’? It is absolutely marvellous – there is no way ‘I’ can escape it. If I am not completely satisfied with where I am now, ‘I’ am trying to achieve something which is not here and now, so it is unachievable. It appears one must remain absolutely vigilant – keep asking ‘What am I experiencing in this moment of being alive?’ Watch the answer. Do not make any effort to puzzle it out, just watch the answer. Keep asking and watching and something will come up. At the very moment you start to think something like ‘Well that’s it, I got here, there is no need to say it any more’ or ‘What is the point of saying this’ or ‘this is boring’ or ‘what does it mean’ or ‘what am I supposed to answer’ – that is the time you just need to keep on going. I know, I have been through them all (and there are plenty more variations) ... ... I tell you, the sound of one hand clapping is a piece of cake compared to this ... ... You must discover you, by yourself, and what an exciting discovery waits to be made. The sooner you start the better. So, right away, ask yourself, ‘How am I feeling at this moment of being alive’ and keep on asking, every moment. If one perseveres, the least that should be achieved is living in happiness for 99% of the time and that is not a bad reward, for a bit of effort and diligence ... ... How am I experiencing this moment of being alive? Why as it always has been and always will be – absolutely perfect. After all, how can it possibly be anything else. Alan to Richard

I have been following your correspondence with Vineeto, with interest and thought I would write to you further, with some of my own thoughts and experiences on ‘how am I experiencing this moment of being alive’, which might be of use to you, or others.

When I first started, I had incredible difficulty remembering the question and would drift off into other thoughts at every opportunity. Loads of objections would come up. Then I went through a stage of attempting to understand intellectually – concentrating on ‘how’, who was this ‘I’, what was ‘experiencing’ etc. It is an extremely useful tool, when used diligently, for discovering what is stopping one enjoying this moment and uncovering emotions and beliefs, as Vineeto described so well in her last mail to you.

After a short time I was able to have the question running as a sort of automatic continuous exercise. I also found it important to remember that the object of the exercise is to live this moment, not to understand, or interpret it. It is a fine line between examining emotions and beliefs and getting lost in a ‘head trip’. I wrote this at the time: – A sudden realization. If I am not completely satisfied with where I am now, ‘I’ am trying to achieve something which is not here and now, so it is unachievable. It appears one must remain absolutely vigilant – keep asking ‘What am I experiencing in this moment of being alive?’ Watch the answer. Do not make any effort to puzzle it out, just watch the answer. Keep asking and watching and something will come up, as above. At the very moment you start to think something like ‘Well that’s it, I got here, there is no need to say it any more’ or ‘What is the point of saying this’ or ‘this is boring’ or ‘what does it mean’ or ‘what am I supposed to answer’ – that is the time you just need to keep on going. I know, I have been through them all (and there are plenty more variations).

I tell you, the sound of one hand clapping is a piece of cake compared to this.

Perhaps another way of putting it is that at some stage you have to shift the question from the front burner to the back burner, so it becomes an experiential, rather than an intellectual exercise, all the while keeping it available, like a searchlight, to illuminate anything stopping one living this moment. It is also easy to fall into a zombie, or stuck, period, which Vineeto and I have been discussing. ‘I’ have plenty of tricks and ploys to stop me being ‘here’ and what you find to be stopping you will be different from what I or anyone else finds. And is that not the marvellous thing – only you can discover you. You are completely responsible – no one else can tell you what to do. Alan to No 3

The moment to come by is not yet fact. So the only fact is this very moment. I sometimes, for a second, come very close to ‘getting/experiencing’ these facts. But otherwise it remains an intellectual understanding. I use to think that once you ‘get’ these things, it can no more go back to plain intellectual understanding. But this seems to be happening with me. What is your experience on this ?

Good question. Vineeto put it well when she said it was like the rungs of a ladder disappearing, as one climbs up. My own experience is that if one ‘gets’ a fact, there is no going back – the belief has disappeared, gone, finished, done with, ceased to exist, it is no more – it is an ex-belief (or was it parrot?)

Your understanding that ‘I’ am not a fact was something I commented on ‘getting’ in my last post. Like you, I agreed and ‘understood’ that ‘I’ am not a fact – ‘I’ am a belief – and ‘I’ fervently believe in ‘myself’. But, getting this fact is a bit like going straight for the 64,000 dollar question – maybe you have some ‘easier’ beliefs you could work on first? Not that I would wish to dissuade anyone from jumping straight in – the ‘boots and all’ approach, as Richard calls it. It is just that, from my recent experience, this is such a whammer, so earth shattering a realization, that it is probably the equivalent of a novice climber deciding his first climb is to be Mount Everest!

There is also the point that Peter made in his mail to me dated 1 March:

However, as the aim is to come here and be happy and harmless, one always has an immediate goal and aim every moment – to be as happy and harmless as one can possibly be right now. ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’ is the key to firstly ascertaining how one is doing relative to one’s aim in life and, if necessary, finding out what is inhibiting my happiness, in this moment. This gives ‘me’ something to do – ‘I’ clean myself up as much as possible by rigorously and remorselessly examining all the beliefs that constitute the Human Condition – all the truths and Truths that form my social identity, and the instinctual behavioural patterns that blindly run ‘me’. This process, if undertaken with a pure intent, will inevitably lead to a state of Virtual Freedom. One then goes to bed in the evening knowing that one has had a perfect day, and knowing that tomorrow, without doubt, will also be a perfect day. Unless one is willing to contemplate being happy and harmless, free of malice and sorrow, 99% of the time – then forget the whole business. One is back aiming for some ‘pie in the sky’, some miracle event to ‘make it all better’. And the Sannyas list was an eye opener as far as that was concerned. When offered an alternative to ‘getting out of it’, such that being happy and harmless became one’s aim in life – none were interested in this aspect; peace on earth got a similar response, living with a companion in peace and harmony hardly raised a murmur. Nobody believes that it is possible to be happy and harmless in the world as-it-is, on earth, here, now, as a flesh and blood body. This is, after all, the core of Ancient Wisdom – the sacred and inviolate centre-piece of the Human Condition.

I have much experience of both ‘trying’ and ‘waiting’ to be ‘here’ – both lovely excuses for ‘me’ not to do anything about actually being here.

You mentioned writing down what was happening. I found this of incredible benefit and it will be even more so if you decide to post it to this list – ‘I’ can get in quite a funk when ‘I’ realize ‘I’ will not get away with any of ‘my’ usual crap here.

Once you ‘get’ something, it is so blindingly obvious, so glaringly simple, so obviously so, that one feels almost foolish that one could have believed it up until now. And it then becomes just a vague recollection that one previously felt like this.

Take ‘my’ previous belief that there was a mummy or a daddy, or a Big Mummy or Big Daddy, who was watching over one, somehow going to put everything right in the end. I know I used to feel like that but I am no longer able to remember the feeling – I know that I am on my own in this, it is up to me and me alone to sort myself out. Because of this realization, I also know that I can do nothing to change another – it is their life and entirely up to them how wisely or foolishly they live it. This frees me to live my life as I choose and allows the other to choose how to live their life. This does not mean I do not consider that I can have an effect on others – but there is no affective demands which I put on them. Writing this post may have an effect on No. 4 or another reading it – but I have no feelings about whether it does or not. There is no desire to convince the other – there is no hidden agenda.

All I, or anyone, can do is to share our experiences and, sometimes, another will recognize a belief that they hold and perhaps question its validity. But the beliefs which No. 4 encounters and how he deals with them will be different (though there will be similarities) from those encountered by me or anyone else. It is the discussion of these differences, and similarities, which make it all so fascinating. It is, however, Alan who must make the discoveries for Alan, No. 4 who must make the discoveries for No. 4 and Vineeto who must make the discoveries for Vineeto. And is not this delicious – relying on no other, be it guru, Richard, Big Mummy or Big Daddy – this is my life!

I have got a bit off the question, though it is a bit related. I can do no better than finish with a quote from Richard’s Journal:

The moment one sees a ‘truth’ for what it is – a belief – one finds that it has already disappeared because of the seeing, leaving nothing behind, except perhaps a vague memory that one once thought like that. The disappeared ‘truth’ seems like a bit of a dream ... was it actual? The next ‘truth’ – because that is how one has learnt to call beliefs – automatically presents itself in the normal course of one’s daily life. One cannot but welcome it, because one’s life becomes clearer and cleaner and more pure. This ‘seeing’ is pure awareness, based upon pure intent born out of the peak experience. It is not an intellectual ‘seeing’, nor is it emotional ... passions play no part in becoming free. Passions are only needed for defending one’s belief in the status-quo. With pure seeing one becomes more and more fascinating, once one has the ‘knack’ of it. Life itself becomes a wondrous experience. Richard’s Journal, Article 6

 Alan to No 4

Needless to say, this method has not the slightest thing to do with plain rationalization or spiritual dis-identification – proven by the very fact that it works, that it gets rid of the emotion permanently while increasingly allowing the sensual sensuousness and the pure delight of being alive.

Earlier this morning, I was ‘catching up’ on some of Richard’s correspondence with mailing list ‘C’ and, later, was pondering on what I had read, while washing up some crocks. The subject of my musings was my reluctance to post to the mailing list, over the last few weeks and whether everything I do is done by ‘me’. This moved on to ‘how can I experience this moment without ‘me’ being present?’ Answer: by practicing the actual, by marvelling at the simplicity of it all, by delight at the wonder of the scene outside the window (at that moment a jackdaw landing on a cow’s head), by enjoying the simple pleasure of the hands in warm, soapy water. The thought came to me ‘how can anyone object to so-called ‘chores’, when it is just such fun to be here doing what it is I am doing’. Amazement and wonder shortly followed and I realized that what I had been doing was ‘reflective contemplation’.

To get to my point. ‘Reflective contemplation’ is the way to not only get out of stuckness but also to discover what is preventing one experiencing this moment. I realized that this is what had occasioned all of my PCEs – this is what leads to wonder at the joy of it all. Of course, it has been said before, especially in Richard’s brilliant paragraph (here).

Discovering it for oneself is what is necessary.

So, to anyone who may be interested, how does one activate ‘reflective contemplation’.

Simply by reading what is written here, on the AF web site and, best of all, Richard’s Journal. Then, by pondering on what has been written and applying it to oneself, one can move into ‘reflective contemplation’. If an emotion gets in the way, one is immediately presented with the opportunity to explore and discover and eliminate the emotion. To put it another way one asks oneself, each moment again, ‘how am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’ Another excellent method of invoking ‘reflective contemplation’ is to write to this mailing list, especially when one does not feel like doing so! Maybe I should post that above my computer on a yellow sticky, eh.

I will post this for now and reply further later, as I have to go and do some delightful ‘chores’. Alan to Peter

Welcome to the actual freedom list.

My name is Mark, and I have been using the actual freedom ‘method’ for about 8 months and was prompted to comment by your question about a guide as to how to do it by people for whom the method is working, and I include myself in that category. I would like to comment on some other of your enquiries as your interest in becoming happy and harmless is plainly more than idle curiosity.

When one actively challenges a belief one has, or feeling or emotion, it is not that there is an exact map or way to do it. One takes the subject and puts it under the microscope, so to speak. For me personally, love was one of the first things to collapse under serious scrutiny. I asked myself ‘what is this thing that I call love’? I thought that my definition of love (and we all – as selves have a different definition) was to be ‘giving’, ‘emotionally supportive’, ‘self sacrificing’, etc. Yet upon closer inspection of my own love life, there where times when my love was not so pure, and if I was a bit more honest I had to admit that my giving nature only extended to where I was receiving in return; and then if I looked a little deeper and was a bit more honest, I had to admit to the fact that ultimately I was really in it for the warm fuzzy feelings, because I wanted sex, because of the desperate loneliness that a human self ‘feels’, to feel important in someone else’s life and to be supported myself in every way. In short, I found that my every motivation for the hallowed, heroic and giving state of love was plainly self serving and cunningly disguised self gratification.

This is an example of actively challenging a belief, the facts of what was ‘actually’ going on made a lie of that which I ‘believed’ about myself and love; so – rather than continue to ‘believe’ a lie, love just disappeared along with the ‘part’ of my identity that was prone to believing that.

And so it goes for all beliefs, emotions, feelings, if one is willing to face the facts and uses facts as a benchmark, one sees that those emotions, feelings and beliefs are not actual but are concocted only in one’s imagination or are programmed via parents, peers, society and religion.

* Is there a method of observation.

Yes! And what a method it is! During the course of daily life, one asks the question ‘how am I experiencing this moment of being alive’? This a definitive question, that is, it will define for you, your moment to moment state of ‘being’, which is, after all, the self or the identity in action. I know that to most people this looks too simple to be deeply effective in bringing about understanding or change to a human identity. In my journey so far, with this method, I can remember when I first came across Richard’s material, I was attracted to the material because it spoke of annihilation of the ego and of the PCE which I recognised from my own experience, but to question EVERYTHING! and to drop the whole package – soul and all – it just seemed too much!

However, after a while, my fascination with the material and my burning desire for an end to my own inner turmoil made me actually try out the method. What I found as I used this method was that all was not as it seemed in my inner life. Whilst outwardly I professed to be one thing (spiritual, compassionate etc), the agendas and goings on inside me were a totally different story. An example – outwardly I would claim to be very compassionate and would gladly ‘be there’ for friends in their times of trouble and sorrow to empathise with them – comfort and nurture. This would give the ‘impression’, outwardly, that I was a generous and caring person – very good for the social identity and one’s feeling of ‘self esteem’. Now, on the inside, when I asked myself this question ‘how am I experiencing this moment of being alive’, I noted that certain things were happening, like a certain smug and self righteous feeling of being superior in ‘my generosity’, a certain feeling of having created ‘good karma’ for which ‘I’ would be rewarded for, and just a bit of a feeling that that person now owed me something and that maybe that person would tell their friends how ‘nice’ I am and there would be more popularity – and still I would sit with others and shake my head and bemoan the dishonesty of our politicians and others.

My point here, is that, yes, the self is a ‘can of worms’ (that is to say full of things that may not be nice to look at), and to sort out that mess one needs to get in there and root around, and this method of observation is very effective. I just had the thought that it is a bit like opening the curtains suddenly on someone hiding in the dark doing something they are not supposed to be doing! If then, you find that through these investigations into your experience of being alive uncover aspects of the self that are obvious unfounded beliefs without substance or straight-out lies, then the intelligence (your own) that uncovered this illusion simply no longer believes it any more. One comes to realise that each time a belief is seen for the illusion that it is then a little freedom is attained, life becomes a little less complicated, one’s own intelligence is a little less clouded – in short, the gain in peace and freedom (speaking personally, and the effect on my inner climate and state of general contentment) was obvious and most welcome ... and bingo! one is on the wondrous road to actual freedom.

So, that’s my bit about the beginnings on the journey to actual freedom. Good to talk to you and all the best to you in your investigations. Mark to No 15

Agreed. Even though I am going through the push-pull of alternating ‘self’-less experiences and the ‘normal’ reality of the instinctual passions, I am positive that actualism works. Every time I run the ‘How am I...’ question, I experience the vibrancy, the energy, the dynamism of being alive right now. It pulls me immediately out of whatever reverie or worry is currently going on in my mind and brings me into the present moment, which is the only moment there is. Gary to Peter

I recall long periods of time when I first started with this when the question would not occur to me for relatively long periods of time. These periods would be filled with a particular affective experience, or with imaginative forays into the realm of speculation, daydreaming, and worry. I find this happening less often now. Participating on this list and reading actualism material is one way of remaining current with the running of the question. It simply reminds me that what I am seeking is to be free from the stranglehold of the emotions and passions, which constitute the Human Condition, and that this is only accomplished by the most astute questioning and investigation into ‘me’.

I find that it is important to establish the question firmly in my mind when arising in the morning, as for long years before all this I would arise in the morning with strong anxieties gripping my heart and mind or sometimes with anger and resentment leftover from the previous day. This sometimes still happens but with the running of the question and the resultant investigation into the affects that spoil my enjoyment of the moment, I can more quickly work myself through whatever is getting in the way. So, in answer to your question, I would say that the experiencing of strong emotions of one sort or another is one thing that reminds me to run the question. If I am having an excellent experience, I hardly need to be reminded to run the question – simply enjoy it without all the investigation. These periods are the bonus, the payoff as it were – delighting in being here, enjoying whatever is happening and wherever I am.

Running the question never reveals nothing, in my experience. However, it is sometimes difficult for me to discern exactly what is troubling me, which triggers me to run the question. For instance, one afternoon recently I found myself feeling tense, uncomfortable, and was puzzled as to what was going on. As I continued to investigate into it, I found that I was fearful and worried, and this led to more clearly being aware of the worries and anxieties that were gripping me in the moment.

I guess I would agree with you that my ‘sense of self’ is strongest in the morning.

This is when my day is more apt to be thrown off kilter by some unexamined feeling or affect left over from the previous night or the previous day. It is also the time when I am thinking about my workday, planning my activities, and anticipating the challenges ahead. It is time of day when I am most inclined to worry, have anxiety, or experience other strong emotions. However, perhaps unlike yourself, I am at my most lucid in the morning, and as the day continues, I find my mental faculties declining somewhat. I feel my mind and intelligence are operating more fully in the morning, rather than towards evening. If I get off to a good start in the morning, the rest of the day just falls into place.

If I am fearful, resentful, depressed, etc., then my work is cut out for me and this is where the question starts running almost automatically, without much forethought.

Thank you for your questions, No 3. They have helped me to think about this matter for myself. Gary to No 3

Richard states:

‘The best ‘discoveries’ are those that happen of their own accord (serendipity) ... virtually anything of merit that happens along the wide and wondrous path to freedom happens of its own accord irregardless of ‘my’ doing. That being said, however, unless one has the pure intent to enable the already always existing perfection (as ascertained in the PCE) from becoming apparent, then these ‘best discoveries’ will never, ever ‘happen of their own accord’.’

If ‘I’ exists in any given moment which is a likely scenario, then it is likely that ‘I’ will be involved in any conscious decision and action. I think that is where the self has to agree to its own demise or even temporary absence. Am ‘I’ running the question knowing full well that it means that ‘I’ will eventually expire? I would say the implications of that is realised more the longer the question is on going. I guess what I’m saying is that ‘I’ am probably initially, somewhat seduced into continuing with running the question. No 3 to Gary

Actualism Homepage

Freedom from the Human Condition – Happy and Harmless

Web page designed by The Actual Freedom Trust