Others ~ Selected Correspondence

Innocence

In a way, it almost seems that it is exceedingly difficult for a human being to recognize the immediate and actual as exactly what it is, rather than what it is not. I wonder if it would be possible to raise children with an immediate appreciation and delight in what is actually present, something they have innately anyway, with no imaginative fabrication of what is not there.

Also innately present in children are the instinctual passions and these passions will always take precedent over any potential for an ‘immediate appreciation and delight in what is actually present’ – in fact, the crude animal survival passions exist to do precisely this. Which is not to say that it makes good sense not to indulge a child’s natural tendency for fantasy and imagination – a tendency that will anyway be fostered by interaction with their peers, despite the wishes and actions of any parent.

Yes, of course. In hindsight, I see I made a rather big speculative leap in considering the raising of children who are devoid of the instinctual passions. While such speculation is interesting, it is just a sidetrack from the main event: freeing oneself from malice and sorrow. In my work with children, it is amazing to me to see the degree to which malice and sorrow are inveterate to the human condition. I have also seen a large degree of denial about the presence of malice in children – people are wont to believe in the innocence of children and cannot seem to see that sometimes their actions are most malicious. I was at a training recently and the trainer was describing a child lashing out in anger and hurting someone else’s feelings, and added the proviso: ‘But it wasn’t really a malicious action’ or something of that sort. There seems to be a deep-seated human need to believe that childhood is a time of innocence which malice and sorrow cannot intrude into. But this is obviously not the case. Gary to Peter

To be an actualist it is imperative to abandon cynicism and gullibility and actively cultivate naiveté – the closest thing to actual innocence.

I remember you talking about ‘cranking up one’s naiveté’ in a long ago post and I didn’t exactly know what you meant at the time. I am not sure I know exactly now either but I think I have a better inkling of what this means. When one is experiencing naiveté, there is not that curious ongoing sense of being ‘on guard’, defence systems at the alert, on the lookout for threats and evil, that there is usually in the self-centred experience. I sometimes experience this, for instance, at work when I am going about my duties, just doing the next sensible thing and not worrying about the outcome. It is really a wonderful experience and each moment is experienced more fully and seems in some way to be set apart from every other moment. There is not that sense of continuity or time. I don’t know how to put this exactly but it is something that I have noticed at other times and it seems important to describe it. Despite the feeling that I don’t know exactly what the hell I am talking about, I shall try to describe it. Each moment in time, the present, is so utterly fascinating and enjoyable that when one is experiencing naiveté (or at least what I think is being described as naiveté) there is no sense of this moment being other than ‘now’ – it is somehow set off from or set aside from one’s ordinary sense of there being a past, present, and future. Perhaps because there is no intervening ‘me’ with my cares, worries, anxieties, anger, resentment, and longings, there is not that centre by which everything is judged relative to ‘me’ and ‘my life’.

Does that make any sense? One is fully engaged in experiencing the delight of living in the present moment, and one goes about one’s day meeting people, interacting freely, and events happen of their own accord, unaffected by any ‘me’ pulling the strings making things happen. There is no sense of strain whatsoever and if strain does arise, it arises chiefly because there is a controller, again – ‘me’ – calling the shots and controlling events. This is, at the moment, my best description of the closest thing to innocence. By fully experiencing the delight in being here at this present moment, I am blithely unaware of any dangers encroaching – I am not caught up in the instinctual drama of survival. I am free to be here and enjoy the company of other people as I like, or, alternatively, to be by myself and enjoy the solitude. Gary to Peter

For some reason, the framework in which actualism is presented has never bothered me. If someone has found something and wants to share it with others and wants to have a website detailing these discoveries, what the heck – then go for it. If I don’t agree with the information on the website or it doesn’t suit me, I don’t have to stick around. I can take it or leave it as I so choose.

I stuck around because there was something on offer that was utterly fresh, sensible, sincere and, contrary to spiritual belief, appealed to my intelligence. Besides, I had nothing to lose but my weakening spiritual dreams and my devotion for an already dead master. Practicing the method of actualism for only a few months brought stunning results in my living together with Peter, and the actual intimacy I experienced by stepping outside of my beliefs and emotions was far, far superior to any feeling of love that I had ever had with any man, woman, group or master.

By the time I realised that actualism was 180 degrees opposite to not only what I believed but also to what everyone else believed, it was too late. I have tasted the magic and splendour and innocence of being what I am as opposed to ‘who I feel and believe myself to be’ and that taste is utterly addictive. It has become impossible to ever turn back.

The actualism method is really quite simple. It makes eminent sense to me and the more I examine the ins and outs of it, it is the most sensible thing in the world to eliminate everything that stands in the way of peace, happiness, and harmlessness in this lifetime. Not too many people seem really interested enough to see if it can be done. It means the end of ‘me’. But I am doomed anyway, so what’s the fuss? As long as ‘I’ am in existence, I am apt to make a terrible fuss ... and even worse. It’s indeed a bitter pill for some to swallow that ‘I’ am the root cause of all the wars, misery, child abuse, rape, torture, etc, etc.

Probably now somebody will pop up and say I am proving that this is a cult because I am parroting what others have said before. Oh well, we’ll see. Gary to Vineeto

I thought you might be interested in the following article, which appeared in yesterday’s newspaper –

BABIES as young as four months old are capable of experiencing and showing jealousy, according to new research presented today. Contrary to conventional psychological thinking that infants under two are not able to show such a complex emotion, the study confounds the idea that infants exist in blissful innocence.

Even babies who did not cry when their mothers showed love to another infant registered some distress.

‘It has always been thought that until the second year of life babies could not experience jealousy which implies a sense of others rather than self,’ said Dr Riccardo Draghi-Lorenz, the psychologist who conducted the study at Portsmouth University. ‘By chance I noticed a baby of four or five months showing what looked like jealousy and I decided to find out.’

He will tell the International Conference of Infant Studies in Brighton that the study involved 24 mothers and babies aged four to six months. First, their mothers talked with other adults. Then they picked up another baby and showed it love; cooing, cuddling and tickling. ‘When mothers were talking to adults, three out of 24 babies became distressed and started to cry. When the mothers showed love to another baby, 13 out of 24 babies did. Some of the mothers felt quite guilty,’ said Dr Draghi-Lorenz. ‘All but one of the other 11 babies showed some level of jealous reaction.’

I also happened to catch a quotation on the news ‘as it appears the emotion of jealousy is inborn it can be regarded as natural and not a bad emotion’ – or words to that effect. Alan, 19.7.2000

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